Taking Care Of Parents Who Didn T Take Care Of You

A self-help guide for those who have to take care of their aging parents. Caring for aging parents is difficult-it's exhausting, expensive, time-consuming, and under appreciated. And that's under the best of circumstances, when the caregiver loves and respects his or her aging parent. What happens when adult children are asked to care for elderly parents who were abusive, neglectful, or absent? Here is a compassionate and practical guide to facing the psychological and emotional issues that arise when caring for aging parents. Eleanor Cade offers sound as well as personal accounts from individuals who have made the choice to care for difficult parents. The result is a powerful guide to moving beyond feelings of anger, regret, and grief in order to build healthy new family dynamics based on decency and mercy.Target audience For individuals who are caring for aging, dysfunctional parents, as well as counselors and therapists who work with familiesFeaturesan authoritative resource for baby boomers caring for aging parentsdefines differences between "normal" and "dysfunctional" familiespersonal stories validate the experiences and feelings of readers

There are a lot of issues to consider as our loved ones get older. From in-home care to assisted living facilities, there are myriad options available - and each person's needs are unique. Family members need a resource that will answer all of their questions and ease them through this often complicated transition. This helpful handbook guides concerned children as they: decide which level of care is best for their parent; maintain communication and discuss difficult topics; handle home safety issues; manage transportation; find and work with a primary-care physician; navigate insurance paperwork; handle legal issues and questions; and other sensitive issues. From setting up a support network to avoiding scams, this informative guide will help a family decide on - and implement - the best care options for their loved ones.

Now in paperback, one of the first books to help navigate the profound emotional challenges of caring for elderly parents in a strained parent-child relationship.

“Unflinchingly tackles a complex aspect of eldercare in each chapter . . . an indispensable resource for family caregivers.”—Patrick O’Malley, author of Getting Grief Right When it comes time to provide care for those who once cared for us, where can we turn? This book offers practical guidance for a broad range of caregiving situations when family caregivers assume their new role. My Parent’s Keeper . . . · Uses the latest research and draws on case histories and interviews. · Is a resource as well as a source of inspiration, with a blend of powerful stories and practical advice. · Helps caregivers cope with numerous challenges, including parents who need but refuse help; siblings who don’t get along; the complexity of healthcare systems; financial issues; juggling work and caregiving; the use of technology; the power of connecting with a loved one who has dementia; and realizing the benefits amid the burdens of caregiving. “Jody Gastfriend has created the ultimate GPS for family caregivers. At once humane and helpful, personal and political, she charts the long, hard, and rewarding role that all of us will take caring for our families and each other. Don’t leave home without it!”—Ellen Goodman, Pulitzer Prize-winning columnist and founder of The Conversation Project “My Parent's Keeper shines a light on the conundrum of caregiving—as adult children, our best intentions are insufficient to help our parents and ourselves. We need a plan in advance of need—this book offers up-to-date guideposts for this inevitable caregiving journey.”—Laurie M. Orlov, author of When Your Parents Need Elder Care: Lessons from the Front Lines

From Elizabeth Hay, one of Canada's beloved novelists, comes a startling and beautiful memoir about the drama of her parents' end, and the longer drama of being their daughter. Winner of the 2018 Hilary Weston Writers' Trust Prize for Nonficiton. Jean and Gordon Hay were a colourful, formidable pair. Jean, a late-blooming artist with a marvellous sense of humour, was superlatively frugal; nothing got wasted, not even maggoty soup. Gordon was a proud and ambitious schoolteacher with a terrifying temper, a deep streak of melancholy, and a devotion to flowers, cars, words, and his wife. As old age collides with the tragedy of living too long, these once ferociously independent parents become increasingly dependent on Lizzie, the so-called difficult child. By looking after them in their final decline, she hopes to prove that she can be a good daughter after all. In this courageous memoir, written with tough-minded candour, tenderness, and wit, Elizabeth Hay lays bare the exquisite agony of a family's dynamics--entrenched favouritism, sibling rivalries, grievances that last for decades, genuine admiration, and enduring love. In the end, she reaches a more complete understanding of the most unforgettable characters she will ever know, the vivid giants in her life who were her parents.

Wise, smart, and ever-helpful, an essential guide to caring for aging parents. When Jane Gross found herself suddenly thrust into a caretaker role for her eighty-five year-old mother, she was forced to face challenges that she had never imagined. As she and her younger brother struggled to move her mother into an assisted living facility, deal with seemingly never-ending costs, and adapt to the demands on her time and psyche, she learned valuable and important lessons. Here, the longtime New York Times expert on the subject of elderly care and the founder of the New Old Age blog shares her frustrating, heartbreaking, enlightening, and ultimately redemptive journey, providing us along the way with valuable information that she wishes she had known earlier. We learn why finding a general practitioner with a specialty in geriatrics should be your first move when relocating a parent; how to deal with Medicaid and Medicare; how to understand and provide for your own needs as a caretaker; and much more. Includes chapters on the following subjects: Finding Our Better Selves The Myth of Assisted Living The Vestiges of Family Medicine The Best Doctors Money Can Buy The Biology, Sociology, and Psychology of Aging Therapeutic Fibs

Working Daughter provides a roadmap for women trying to navigate caring for aging parents and their careers. Using the author’s own experiences as a prime example, it’s ideal for readers who want straight talk and real advice about the challenges and rewards of eldercare while managing a career and family.

If you grew up with an emotionally immature, unavailable, or selfish parent, you may have lingering feelings of anger, loneliness, betrayal, or abandonment. You may recall your childhood as a time when your emotional needs were not met, when your feelings were dismissed, or when you took on adult levels of responsibility in an effort to compensate for your parent’s behavior. These wounds can be healed, and you can move forward in your life. In this breakthrough book, clinical psychologist Lindsay Gibson exposes the destructive nature of parents who are emotionally immature or unavailable. You will see how these parents create a sense of neglect, and discover ways to heal from the pain and confusion caused by your childhood. By freeing yourself from your parents’ emotional immaturity, you can recover your true nature, control how you react to them, and avoid disappointment. Finally, you’ll learn how to create positive, new relationships so you can build a better life. Discover the four types of difficult parents: The emotional parent instills feelings of instability and anxiety The driven parent stays busy trying to perfect everything and everyone The passive parent avoids dealing with anything upsetting The rejecting parent is withdrawn, dismissive, and derogatory