Taking Sexy Back

“Taking Sexy Back is going directly on my top list of recommended sexuality readings.” —Esther Perel, author of Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs It is time for a new sexual revolution. It’s time to take sexy back. As women, we’re expected to be sexy, but not sexual. We’re bombarded with conflicting, shame-inducing, and disempowering messages about sex, instead of being encouraged to connect with our true sexual selves. Sexy gets reduced to a performance, leaving us with little to no space to reckon with the complexities of sexuality. In a culture intent on telling you who and how to be, standing in your truth is revolutionary. From relationship expert Alexandra Solomon—author of Loving Bravely—Taking Sexy Back is a groundbreaking guide to deepening your connection to yourself, honoring your desires, and cultivating authentic intimate connections. On these pages, you’ll discover how to deepen your sexual self-awareness, and use that awareness to create experiences that not only pleasure, but elevate, expand, and heal you. You’ll learn to understand your boundaries, communicate what feels good, and bring mindfulness and self-compassion to sex. Most importantly, you’ll embrace your sexuality as an evolving, essential, and beautiful part of your life. Sex is about more than what your partner enjoys or finds sexy. It’s about more than having an orgasm or finding the “right” positions. It’s about you. It’s time to take your sexy back! Named one of Cosmopolitan's Best Nonfiction Books of 2020! 2020 Consumer Book Honorable Mention from The Society for Sex Therapy and Research (SSTAR) As featured on The Morning Show—Australia's top-rated morning program

It is time for a new sexual revolution. It’s time to take sexy back. As women, we’re expected to be sexy, but not sexual. We’re bombarded with conflicting, shame-inducing, and disempowering messages about sex, instead of being encouraged to connect with our true sexual selves. Sexy gets reduced to a performance, leaving us with little to no space to reckon with the complexities of sexuality. In a culture intent on telling you who and how to be, standing in your truth is revolutionary. From relationship expert Alexandra Solomon—author of Loving Bravely—Taking Sexy Back is a groundbreaking guide to deepening your connection to yourself, honoring your desires, and cultivating authentic intimate connections. On these pages, you’ll discover how to deepen your sexual self-awareness, and use that awareness to create experiences that not only pleasure, but elevate, expand, and heal you. You’ll learn to understand your boundaries, communicate what feels good, and bring mindfulness and self-compassion to sex. Most importantly, you’ll embrace your sexuality as an evolving, essential, and beautiful part of your life. Sex is about more than what your partner enjoys or finds sexy. It’s about more than having an orgasm or finding the “right” positions. It’s about you. It’s time to take your sexy back!

For women, sex has been hijacked. Today's sexual climate leaves little to no space for honoring the complexities of sex-sex as pleasure, sex as connection, sex as creative expression, and sex as healing. In Taking Sexy Back, relationship expert Alexandra Solomon shows women that they are more than just sexy objects of someone else's desire, and offers real tools to help women explore their own sexuality, communicate their needs, draw boundaries to be safe, and build the satisfying relationships they truly want.

As seen on The TODAY Show! “A godsend to anyone searching for, but struggling to find, true love in their lives.” —Kristin Neff, PhD, author of Self-Compassion "Empowering and compassionate, and its lessons are universal." —Publishers Weekly Real love starts with you. In order to attract a life partner and build a healthy intimate relationship, you must first become a good partner to yourself. This book offers twenty invaluable lessons that will help you explore and commit to your own emotional and psychological well-being so you can be ready, resilient, and confident in love. Many of us enter into romantic relationships full of expectation and hope, only to be sorely disappointed by the realization that the partner we’ve selected is a flawed human being with their own neuroses, history, and desires. Most relationships end because one or both people haven’t done the internal work necessary to develop self-awareness and take responsibility for their own experiences. We’ve all heard “You can’t love anyone unless you love yourself,” but amid life’s distractions and the myth of perfect, romantic love, how exactly do you do that? In Loving Bravely, psychologist, professor and relationship expert Alexandra H. Solomon introduces the idea of relational self-awareness, encouraging you to explore your personal history to gain an understanding of your own relational patterns, as well as your strengths and weaknesses in relationships. By doing so, you’ll learn what relationships actually require, beyond the fairytale notions of romance. And by maintaining a steady but gentle focus on yourself, you’ll build the best possible foundation for making a loving connection. By understanding your past relationship experiences, cultivating a strong sense of self-awareness, and determining what it is you really want in a romantic partner—you’ll be ready to find the healthy, lasting love your heart desires.

Go beyond surviving to reclaim your sexual self. If you have experienced sexual abuse, assault, harassment, or rape, you may feel disconnected from your sexual self—even if you’ve overcome the initial trauma of your experience. You are a survivor; but surviving is just the beginning. This book explores what comes next. Written by a psychotherapist and grounded in cutting-edge research, Reclaiming Pleasure picks up where other sexual trauma recovery books leave off. It offers practical tools to help you cultivate a sense of safety, security and trust in order to reclaim the vitality, pleasure and great sex you deserve. The book will also serve as your compass on a journey toward the rediscovery of desire, letting you explore what you want from others and for yourself. This groundbreaking book will help you: Understand the lasting mental, physical, sexual, and relational impacts of sexual trauma Move beyond feelings of shame Reclaim pleasure and reignite passion in your life Surviving is merely the first step in the process of recovery from sexual trauma. With this sex-positive and empowering guide, you are invited to take your recovery to the next level. You’ll feel emboldened by the desire for better sex, healthier relationships, and a more connected, pleasurable life.

*Winner of the Chicago Review of Books Award for Fiction* A Heartland Booksellers Award Nominee An NPR Best Book of the Year A BookPage Best Book of the Year A Library Journal Best Winter/Spring Debut of 2020 A Most Anticipated Book of 2020 from the Boston Globe and The Millions A Best Book of February 2020 at Salon, The Millions, LitHub and Vol 1. Brooklyn “A stunner—equal parts epic and intimate, thrilling and elegiac.”—Laura Van den Berg, author of The Third Hotel The mesmerizing story of a Latin American science fiction writer and the lives her lost manuscript unites decades later in post-Katrina New Orleans In 1929 in New Orleans, a Dominican immigrant named Adana Moreau writes a science fiction novel. The novel earns rave reviews, and Adana begins a sequel. Then she falls gravely ill. Just before she dies, she destroys the only copy of the manuscript. Decades later in Chicago, Saul Drower is cleaning out his dead grandfather’s home when he discovers a mysterious manuscript written by none other than Adana Moreau. With the help of his friend Javier, Saul tracks down an address for Adana’s son in New Orleans, but as Hurricane Katrina strikes they must head to the storm-ravaged city for answers. What results is a brilliantly layered masterpiece—an ode to home, storytelling and the possibility of parallel worlds.

REBOOT YOUR SEX DRIVE! Does sleep sound better than sex? You're not alone. Millions of men and women are struggling to understand their loss of desire. The answer lies not in new sexual positions but a new sexual positioning. Programming has taught women to value being an object of desire over having desire. Men have learned to be sexual 'doings' rather than sexual beings. It's not too late to activate the desire that has been suffocated by screwed-up conditioning and frenzied, fast-paced lifestyles. Taking Sexy Back will help you turn on and tune into your sexual energy and claim the passion that you deserve.