Tales Of Christmas Comedy

A few short stories that include parodies of classic Christmas characters. Maybe they can find their way among the ranks of stories that fuel the Christmas spirit. Other than that they're just some crap a crazy guy wrote. Have fun and make sure to reimagine Christmas every year to keep it fresh. Unless you're old and you don't care. Chances are no one will ever care about these stories anyways. That's not being negative that's just reality. Alternatively my optimism has a point that at least I laughed at these stories. I had a good time destroying Christmas by elevating these stories to be fit for a mature audience. Who knows maybe you'll end up telling them at the bar or on Christmas morning to have a laugh. Either way I feel like they're just a funny dumpster fire.

As Farmer Brown prepares the house for Christmas, Duck tries to play Santa--but he gets stuck in the chimney, along with all the other animals who try to help.

To find out whether Santa thinks you’re naughty or nice, you’ll need to trick an elf into letting you see the list! Legend has it that the only way to find out if you’re on Santa’s naughty or nice list is to trick an elf into letting you sneak a peek! But be careful: elves are tricky themselves! To get a look at the list, you’ll need to be clever in crafting a distracting craft to catch the elf’s attention. So, grab some Christmas supplies like ribbons, twinkle lights, bows, and candy canes, and get prepared for your sly holiday visitor! On the nights leading up to Christmas, one of Santa’s elves will show up to keep watch on kids and to report on their naughty or nice behavior! However, if you’re careful and clever and quick, you can set up a beautiful little sleigh that will distract your elf, and then you’ll be sure to get a glimpse at Santa’s list! Sue Fliess’s poetic read-aloud text and Simona Sanfilippo’s vibrant, whimsical illustrations will provide much fun for young readers eager to trick their own Christmas elf and find which list they’re on! Also included are guides for teachers and parents about how to engage children in building an elf sleigh themselves and how to interest them in the history of the holiday and the many cultures that celebrate Santa’s tiny helpers.

Wink the Elf asks the reader's help to get Santa's present ready for Mrs. Claus on Christmas Eve.

A beloved, bestselling classic of humorous and nostalgic Americana—the book that inspired the equally classic Yuletide film and the live musical on Fox. The holiday film A Christmas Story, first released in 1983, has become a bona fide Christmas perennial, gaining in stature and fame with each succeeding year. Its affectionate, wacky, and wryly realistic portrayal of an American family’s typical Christmas joys and travails in small-town Depression-era Indiana has entered our imagination and our hearts with a force equal to It’s a Wonderful Life and Miracle on 34th Street. This edition of A Christmas Story gathers together in one hilarious volume the gems of autobiographical humor that Jean Shepherd drew upon to create this enduring film. Here is young Ralphie Parker’s shocking discovery that his decoder ring is really a device to promote Ovaltine; his mother and father’s pitched battle over the fate of a lascivious leg lamp; the unleashed and unnerving savagery of Ralphie’s duel in the show with the odious bullies Scut Farkas and Grover Dill; and, most crucially, Ralphie’s unstoppable campaign to get Santa—or anyone else—to give him a Red Ryder carbine action 200-shot range model air rifle. Who cares that the whole adult world is telling him, “You’ll shoot your eye out, kid”? The pieces that comprise A Christmas Story, previously published in the larger collections In God We Trust, All Others Pay Cash and Wanda Hickey’s Night of Golden Memories, coalesce in a magical fashion to become an irresistible piece of Americana, quite the equal of the film in its ability to warm the heart and tickle the funny bone.

Go on a festive and fun-filled adventure with Larry in the hilarious Christmas novelty edition of the USA Today bestselling series, Don't Push the Button! 'Tis the season for gift-giving and kids will adore this new addition to the creative and interactive series that has touched the lives of over half-a-million readers. Don't Shake the Present! is the perfect stocking stuffer, holiday gift for kids, and present for 1 year old girls and boys celebrating their first Christmas ever! Kids and parents alike will return to this wacky holiday book time and again. Larry the lovable monster has received a present, and he's desperate to know what's inside. He needs your help to figure it out. But whatever you do... DON'T SHAKE THE PRESENT! Hi, I'm Larry. This is my present. I REALLY want to open it, but I'm not allowed.

A New York Times and USA Today Bestseller "With delightful rhymes, How to Catch an Elf slots itself into place along such classics as "The Night Before Christmas."--Foreword Reviews You've been waiting all year long, and now it's finally Christmas Eve Is this the year you'll finally catch an elf? Start a new Christmas tradition with this hilarious children's book from the creators of the New York Times best-seller How to Catch a Leprechaun "It's Christmas Eve Hip hip, hooray Yes, Santa's coming 'round. He's bringing toys to girls and boys in every house in town." "Some kids have tried to catch him, but Santa's fast, you see So they've set their eyes on a smaller prize, and now they're after me "