The Client Who Changed Me

Although the impact that clients can have on therapists is well-known, most work on the subject consists of dire warnings: mental health professionals are taught early on to be on their guard for burnout, compassion fatigue, and countertransference. However, while these professional hazards are very real, the scholarly focus on the negative potential of the client-counselor relationship often implies that no good can come of allowing oneself to get too close to a client's issues. This sentiment obscures what every therapist knows to be true: that the client-counselor relationship can also effect powerful positive transformations in a therapist's own life. The Client Who Changed Me is Jeffrey Kottler and Jon Carlson's testimony to the significant and often life-changing ways in which therapists have been changed by their patients. Kottler and Carlson draw not only upon their own extensive experience - between them, they have more than fifty years in the field - but also upon lengthy interviews with dozens of the country's foremost therapists and theorists. This novel work presents readers with a truly unique perspective on the business of therapy: not merely how it appears externally, but how practitioners experience it internally. Although these stories paint a complex and multi-layered portrait of the client-counselor relationship, they all demonstrate the profound and unexpected rewards that the profession has to offer.

In the wise and soulful tradition of teachers like Shauna Niequist and Brene Brown, therapist Aundi Kolber debuts with Try Softer, helping us align our mind, body, and soul to live the life God created for us. In a world that preaches a “try harder” gospel—just keep going, keep hustling, keep pretending we’re all fine—we’re left exhausted, overwhelmed, and so numb to our lives. If we’re honest, we’ve been overfunctioning for so long, we can’t even imagine another way. How else will things get done? How else will we survive? It doesn’t have to be this way. Aundi Kolber believes that we don’t have to white-knuckle our way through life. In her debut book, Try Softer, she’ll show us how God specifically designed our bodies and minds to work together to process our stories and work through obstacles. Through the latest psychology, practical clinical exercises, and her own personal story, Aundi equips and empowers us to connect us to our truest self and truly live. This is the “try softer” life. In Try Softer, you’ll learn how to: Know and set emotional and relational boundaries Make sense of the difficult experiences you’ve had Identify your attachment style—and how that affects your relationships today Move through emotions rather than get stuck by them Grow in self-compassion and talk back to your inner critic Trying softer is sacred work. And while it won’t be perfect or easy, it will be worth it. Because this is what we were made for: a living, breathing, moving, feeling, connected, beautifully incarnational life.

Bad Therapy offers a rare glimpse into the hearts and mind's of the profession's most famous authors, thinkers, and leaders when things aren't going so well. Jeffrey Kottler and Jon Carlson, who include their own therapy mishaps, interview twenty of the world's most famous practitioners who discuss their mistakes, misjudgements, and miscalculations on working with clients. Told through narratives, the failures are related with candor to expose the human side of leading therapists. Each therapist shares with regrets, what they learned from the experience, what others can learn from their mistakes, and the benefits of speaking openly about bad therapy.

The effort to surmount shame and formidable defenses in psychotherapy can trigger shame and self-doubt in therapists. Susan Warren Warshow offers a user-friendly-guide to help therapists move past common treatment barriers. This unique book avoids jargon and breaks down complex concepts into digestible elements for practical application. The core principles of Dynamic Emotional Focused Therapy (DEFT), a comprehensive treatment approach for demonstrable change, are illustrated with rich and abundant clinical vignettes. This engaging, often lyrical handbook emphasizes "shame-sensitivity" to create the safety necessary to achieve profound interpersonal connection. Often overlooked in treatment, shame can undermine the entire process. The author explains the "therapeutic transfer of compassion for self," a relational phenomenon that purposefully generates affective expression. She introduces a three-step, robust framework, The Healing Triad, to orient therapists to intervene effectively when the winds of resistance arise. Chapters clarify: Why we focus on feelings How to identify and move beyond shame and anxiety How to transform toxic guilt into reparative actions How to disarm defenses while avoiding ruptures This book is essential reading for both advanced and newly practicing mental health practitioners striving to access the profound emotions in their clients for transformative change.

This best-selling book is an easy-to-read introduction to the ideas and practices of narrative therapy. It uses accessible language, has a concise structure and includes a wide range of practical examples. What Is Narrative Practice? covers a broad spectrum of narrative practices including externalisation, re-membering, therapeutic letter writing, rituals, leagues, reflecting teams and much more. If you are a therapist, health worker or community worker who is interesting in applying narrative ideas in your own work context, this book was written with you in mind.

Making dramatic life changes can be difficult. The true secret to life-long transformation, according to certified professional counselor Bill O'Hanlon, is to take baby steps; small, subtle changes will yield profound and lasting results when added together. In this concise book, O'Hanlon shares his simple formula for making the small changes that lead to big shifts: Change the Doing, Change the Viewing, and Change the Setting. Each simple concept is illustrated with examples of everyday challenges with easy-to-implement experiments for affecting transformation, as in this example from "Change the Viewing": Don't expect, be happy: Ken Keyes developed a simple strategy to be happy: Expect everyone and everything to be exactly as it is. When you are upset, he suggests, it is only because your expectations haven't been fulfilled and you are demanding that reality be as you want it to be, rather than how it is. So expect things to be as they are, and you'll be happy. For the next day or so, every time something happens within you or out in the world that could upset you, shift into expecting it to be exactly as it is. Tell yourself it is exactly as it is supposed to be. As a licensed marriage and family therapist and the author of more than thirty books, O'Hanlon understands that it often takes only simple adjustments to create a better life. With a therapist's keen understanding of what works, O'Hanlon offers straightforward advice that is reminiscent of chatting with a dear friend for achieving simple yet significant life changes.

The Person of the Therapist Training Model presents a model that prepares therapists to make active and purposeful use of who they are, personally and professionally, in all aspects of the therapeutic process—relationship, assessment and intervention. The authors take a process that seems vague and elusive, the self-of-the-therapist work, and provide a step-by-step description of how to conceptualize, structure, and implement a training program designed to facilitate the creation of effective therapists, who are skilled at using their whole selves in their encounters with clients. This book looks to make conscious and planned use of a therapist’s race, gender, culture, values, life experience, and in particular, personal vulnerabilities and struggles in how he or she relates and works with clients. This evidence-supported resource is ideal for clinicians, supervisors, and training programs.

A concise, hands-on, and experiential text that helps readers understand and apply theory in counseling and psychotherapy Through a unique approach that makes understanding theories in counseling and psychotherapy fun, stimulating, and personally meaningful, this fully updated Second Edition helps students comprehend the various and complex theories, apply the material to their own lives (through the use of the reflective exercises in every chapter) and internalize the content of the course. The book's three-part structure includes an introductory section that provides the background necessary for understanding the theories, a middle section that discusses the main theory "families," and a final section that focuses on synthesis and application. Throughout the text, the authors seek to surprise readers with the best of the past, excite them with the vitality of the present, and prepare them for their futures as therapists.