The Dictionary Of Corporate Bullshit

This caustically funny Webster’s of the workplace cuts to the true meaning of the inane argot spouted in cubicles and conference rooms across the land. It’s time to face the facts: We live in the Golden Age of Bullshit. And as anyone who has ever worked in an office knows, the corporate world is a veritable sea of B.S.—and we are all drowning in it. Thank God for Lois Beckwith, an actual human being with the courage and moral fiber to cut through the crap (so to speak) and give us citizens of the working world the lowdown on what all this corporate lingua franca actually means. Breathe easy. The Dictionary of Corporate Bullshit will make your job a whole lot easier, telling you how to get ahead (kissing ass, playing golf), avoid annoying colleagues (use caller ID), and ride the elevator without ruining your career (if you gossip, use pronouns, and never talk to the CEO). If you have ever wondered what a mindshare is (some kind of drug?), puzzled over the meaning of words like impactful or incentivize (here’s a clue: those are not actual words), or been faced with a glassy-eyed zombie of a coworker singing the praises of synergy, then The Dictionary of Corporate Bullshit is for you! Forget what you learned in Bschool—this handy reference guide will teach you everything you need to know about the empty, enraging, and just plain stupid gobbledygook that masquerades as “communication” in the working world.

This caustically funny Webster’s of the workplace cuts to the true meaning of the inane argot spouted in cubicles and conference rooms across the land. It’s time to face the facts: We live in the Golden Age of Bullshit. And as anyone who has ever worked in an office knows, the corporate world is a veritable sea of B.S.—and we are all drowning in it. Thank God for Lois Beckwith, an actual human being with the courage and moral fiber to cut through the crap (so to speak) and give us citizens of the working world the lowdown on what all this corporate lingua franca actually means. Breathe easy. The Dictionary of Corporate Bullshit will make your job a whole lot easier, telling you how to get ahead (kissing ass, playing golf), avoid annoying colleagues (use caller ID), and ride the elevator without ruining your career (if you gossip, use pronouns, and never talk to the CEO). If you have ever wondered what a mindshare is (some kind of drug?), puzzled over the meaning of words like impactful or incentivize (here’s a clue: those are not actual words), or been faced with a glassy-eyed zombie of a coworker singing the praises of synergy, then The Dictionary of Corporate Bullshit is for you! Forget what you learned in Bschool—this handy reference guide will teach you everything you need to know about the empty, enraging, and just plain stupid gobbledygook that masquerades as “communication” in the working world.

"Best-selling author Kevin Duncan presents the world's most comprehensive collection of total bullshit, diligently collected over 35 years. His incisive take on all this boardroom nonsense lifts the lid on the truth behind business vocabulary, and tells us what people are really trying to say."--Back cover.

Without language, we cannot think. Most of us wouldn't have a problem with that because these days nobody has a problem. We have issues. Possibly opportunities. If we are unlucky, we may face challenges. Business, politics, self-help, marketing, the media, statistics, science and local government are all rich sources of bullshit that author Nick Webb has scrupulously mined for this indispensable guide to navigating this all pervasive and tricksy linguistic phenomenon. Much bullshit is merely absurd or fun. An apartment advertised as a studio flat is so cramped that nobody has sex in it without putting a limb out of the window. But there is also capital 'B', weapons-grade Bullshit that sneaks into our minds like heavy metal pollution. Moral content and personal responsibility have drained out of such Bullshit - just one of the reasons why it is so appealing to shifty politicians and senior executives in expensive suits. Serious and funny, angry and shamelessly opinionated, 'The Dictionary of Bullshit' cuts to the chase of corporate speak.

The #1 New York Times bestseller that explains why bullshit is far more dangerous than lying One of the most salient features of our culture is that there is so much bullshit. Everyone knows this. Each of us contributes his share. But we tend to take the situation for granted. Most people are rather confident of their ability to recognize bullshit and to avoid being taken in by it. So the phenomenon has not aroused much deliberate concern. We have no clear understanding of what bullshit is, why there is so much of it, or what functions it serves. And we lack a conscientiously developed appreciation of what it means to us. In other words, as Harry Frankfurt writes, "we have no theory." Frankfurt, one of the world's most influential moral philosophers, attempts to build such a theory here. With his characteristic combination of philosophical acuity, psychological insight, and wry humor, Frankfurt proceeds by exploring how bullshit and the related concept of humbug are distinct from lying. He argues that bullshitters misrepresent themselves to their audience not as liars do, that is, by deliberately making false claims about what is true. In fact, bullshit need not be untrue at all. Rather, bullshitters seek to convey a certain impression of themselves without being concerned about whether anything at all is true. They quietly change the rules governing their end of the conversation so that claims about truth and falsity are irrelevant. Frankfurt concludes that although bullshit can take many innocent forms, excessive indulgence in it can eventually undermine the practitioner's capacity to tell the truth in a way that lying does not. Liars at least acknowledge that it matters what is true. By virtue of this, Frankfurt writes, bullshit is a greater enemy of the truth than lies are.

If you work in business, the chances are you have fallen under the poisonous spell of business bullshit and jargon. Very few of us seem able to avoid “reaching out”, or “touching base”, or “shifting paradigms”, or “thinking outside the box”. No longer solely the province of management consultants, investors and MBA types, business gobbledygook has mesmerized the rank and file around the globe. Help is at hand with this Dictionary of Business Bullshit, aptly described as “the world’s most comprehensive collection” of the top 2,000 business terms and jargon that have infected us all. Stay sane (and keep your colleagues and customers from suffocating you) from the business bullshit madness by having this dictionary by your side. Based on his wide and extensive experience with business bullshit, Kevin Duncan deciphers the terms and language of modern-day business speak.

Our organizations are flooded with empty talk. We are constantly "going forward" to lands of "deliverables", stopping off on the "journey" to "drill down" into "best practice". Being an expert at using management speak has become more important in corporate life than delivering long lasting results. The upshot is that meaningless corporate jargon is killing our organizations. In this book, management scholar the author argues we need to call this empty talk what it is: bullshit. The book looks at how organizations have become vast machines for manufacturing, distributing and consuming bullshit. It follows how the meaningless language of management has spread through schools, NGOs, politics and the media. Business Bullshit shows you how to spot business bullshit, considers why it is so popular, and outlines the impact it has on organizations and the people who work there. It also outlines what we can do to minimise bullshit at work. The author makes a case for why organizations need to avoid empty talk and reconnect with core activities.

Inditex – the group behind Zara, Massimo Dutti, Oysho and Bershka among others – is today a major force in the world of high-street fashion. It recently outranked Gap as the No.1 clothes retailer in the world. In virtually every city in the world, you will see one or more of Inditex’s shops – Zara being the most conspicuous. Yet little is known about this amazing success. This book o¬ers such an insight by telling the story of the genius behind the Inditex Group – Armancio Ortega. Besides being one of the world’s richest men, Ortega is the brains behind a modern-day revolution in textiles and fashion retail. Who really is Armancio Ortega? Where is he from? Where is he going? What led him to dream up this empire? Through unprecedented access to Ortega and his closest aides, the author provides a compelling and unique biography of the man responsible for one of this century’s most extraordinary business successes. Covadonga O’Shea, who has known Amancio Ortega since 1990, recounts in this rst book to be authorised by the man himself, the contents of long hours of conversation held between them, as well as with business colleagues closest to him.