The Dog S Rollocks

Out of their depths and out of their minds, The Dog’s Rollocks is the antidote to all those tales of daring-do by fearless indefatigable Supermen and women that leave one feeling woefully inadequate and semi-suicidal. Instead, it charts in a sometimes surreal diary the disastrous real-life journey of one middle-aged, middle-class, couple, along with their overweight Labrador, to escape mid-life crisis and join the ranks not of the ‘lame-arse, self-effacing, giving-credit-where-due deities of yore’ but the ‘hip, happening, limelight-hogging arrogant immortals of today’ by attempting to row the two thousand kilometers from London to Lisbon in a self-built Ozark float boat.

Out of their depths and out of their minds, The Dog's Rollocks is the antidote to all those tales of daring-do by fearless indefatigable Supermen and women that leave one feeling woefully inadequate and semi-suicidal. Instead, it charts in a sometimes surreal diary the disastrous real-life journey of one middle-aged, middle-class, couple, along with their overweight Labrador, to escape mid-life crisis & canapes

Do you dream of doing something awesome, big or small towards a Great Life, anything indeed, but when you try to motivate yourself into actually getting off your burgeoning ass and taking some kick-ass action, nothing happens, zilch? Somehow, for some damn reason you can't identify, your motivation always fails to show up for the party? Goes AWOL? There's a strong chance it's never your true dream you're chasing, but some swindling parasitic desire foisted on you - in short, you've been swindled, you're a casualty of The Great Motivation Swindle. Too many great people are failing to achieve the success and Great Life they could be living and it seems to be assumed that this is a natural state of affairs and there is little that can be done about it. So what do you do if you find it harder to get motivated than a shark at a salad bar? If you're feeling more demotivated than an albino in a heatwave? What happens is you turn to self-improvement. But the killer is that this industry is largely just putting out the same swindling message as society, more and more dressed up in pseudo 'science' and psychological jargon. The mountains of motivational literature, images and quotes that are designed to get you fired up enough to get going and kick some ass, are in fact doing the oh so opposite: rather than motivating ordinary people to get out there and chase down some sweet dream, they are demotivating them or worse still, encouraging the swindleous practice of substituting some other bastard's aims and desires for yours. So what's the alternative? The alternative is a Revolution. A Revolution for the Common Man. A Revolution where you buck the swindle and the whole concept of 'self-improvement', replace all the corrosive crap in your head with your own unique desire and motivation to pursue your own happiness and go grab whatever the hell you want, as you. The book also includes 19 Motivational Rules for the Common Man

Frankly Frank says... Just thinking about all those so called 'experts' - life coaches, gurus, swamis, TV cooks, politicians, celebrity authors and faceless nobodies - desperate, to ram their knob head opinions down my throat makes me want to spew. There is no area of life left without some grubby little tapeworm smearing its unwanted and nauseating opinion into it. The bastards cheerfully inform us if we don’t measure up to some impossibly tedious ideal encapsulated in some bullshit celebrity ‘save the plankton’ type book or Government ‘fuck responsibly’ type pamphlet our miserable existences are an insult to mankind's eternal struggle to distinguish itself from the primordial slime it came from. The only real certainty is that the world would be a better place if all these self-styled 'experts' shoved their endless opinions up their respective asses. However, as this is unlikely to happen, without a nationwide campaign involving much bloodshed, glide instead into a chaise longue with a glass of Chardonnay and a coarse cut Brussels pate or slump into a easy chair with a bottle of Newcastle Brown and a battered saveloy, and rest assured that many ‘experts’ were harmed in the making of this book.