The Mammoth Book Of Great British Humour

A doorstopper of a collection of the very best of both contemporary and classic British wit and humour. From Monty Python's 'Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more . . .' to Dan Antopolski's 'Hedgehogs. Why can't they just share the hedge?'. From George Bernard Shaw to Michael McIntyre, from Eric Morecombe to Omid Djalili, and from Oscar Wilde to Jimmy Carr, a side-splitting look at Britain, the British and life in general. Including these gems from Britain's finest comedians: I was delighted to learn that my friend's schadenfreude was not as satisfying as mine. Armando Iannucci. I went on a girls' night out recently. The invitation said 'dress to kill'. I went as Rose West. Zoe Lyons For a while I was the perfect mother. Then the Pethidine wore off. Jenny Eclair. My girlfriend was complaining last night that I never listen to her. Or something like that. Jack Dee. Why do dogs always race to the door when the doorbell rings because it's hardly ever for them? Harry Hill. Arse-gravy of the very worst kind. Stephen Fry on The Da Vinci Code. You have to come up with this shit every year. Last week I just wrote "I still love you, see last year's card for full details." Michael McIntyre on Valentines Day. I went to the doctor and he said, 'You've got hypochondria.' I said, 'Not that as well!'Tim Vine. I have the body of an eighteen year old. I keep it in the fridge. Spike Milligan. When someone close to you dies, move seats. Peter Kay. My neighbour asked if he could use my lawnmower and I told him of course he could, so long as he didn't take it out of my garden. Eric Morecambe. My dad's dying wish was to have his family around him. I can't help thinking he would have been better off with more oxygen. Jimmy Carr. Eighty-two point six per cent of statistics are made up on the spot. Vic Reeves. A bird in the hand invariably shits on your wrist. Billy Connolly. Getting divorced isn't like a bereavement at all, because if he's died, I'd have had me mortgage paid, and I could've danced on his grave. Sarah Millican. My greatest hero is Nelson Mandela: incarcerated for 25 years, he was released in 1990, he's been out about 18 years now and he hasn't re-offended. Ricky Gervais. If you want to confuse a girl, buy her a pair of chocolate shoes. Milton Jones. Phil Collins is losing his hearing, making him the luckiest man at a Phil Collins Concert. Simon Amstell. We'll continue our investigation into the political beliefs of nudists. We've already noticed a definite swing to the left. Ronnie Barker. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts. The psychiatrist says, "Well, I can clearly see your nuts. Tommy Cooper

This humorous collection contains 5,000 comic quotations from the funny men and women who have entertained the British for over one hundred years. Quotes from British comedians new and old: from Oscar Wilde to John Cleese, Edith Sitwell to Eddie Izzard. This definitive collection also features hilarious quotes from popular contemporary comedians, columnists, celebrities, and critics.

From his gold medal at the 1960 Olympic Games to his defeat of Sonny Liston to claim the world heavyweight championship in 1964, the unforgettable 'Thrilla in Manila' against Joe Frazier and the 'Rumble in the Jungle' against George Foreman, 'The Greatest of All Time', Muhammad Ali, has captured the attention of the world. His conversion to Islam, his refusal to serve in the in the Vietnam War ('I ain't got no quarrel with them Vietcong') and his speaking tours in the 1960s have all contributed to his status as one of the most revered sporting figures ever. Here, drawn from books, specialist periodicals, newspapers, college magazines (covering his speaking tours) and the work of major literary figures such as Thomas Hauser is the biggest and best collection ever of writing on 'The Greatest'.

An anthology focusing on newer elements of steampunk, one which deconstructs the staples of the genre and expands on them, rather than simply repeating them, with a greater spread both in terms of location and character. This is steampunk with a modern, post-colonial sensibility. Contributors include: Jeff VanderMeer, Caitlín Kiernan, Mary Robinette Kowal, Jay Lake, Cherie Priest, Cat Rambo, Catherynne M. Valente, Genevieve Valentine and many more.

War is becoming increasingly 'SF-ized' with remotely controlled attack drones and robot warriors already in development and being tested. Over the past 100 years the technology of war has advanced enormously in destructive power, yet also in sophistication so that we no longer seem to live under the constant threat of all-out global thermonuclear cataclysm. So what will future wars be like? And what will start them: religion, politics, resources, refugees, or advanced weaponry itself? Watson and Whates present a gripping anthology of SF stories which explores the gamut of possible future conflicts, including such themes as nuclear war, psychological and cyberwars, enhanced soldiery, mercenaries, terrorism, intelligent robotic war machines, and war with aliens. All the stories in this collection of remarkable quality and diversity reveals humankind pressed to the limits in every conceivable way. It includes 24 stories with highlights such as: The Pyre of the New Day' - Catherine Asaro. The Rhine's World Incident' - Neal Asher. Caught in the Crossfire' - David Drake. Politics' - Elizabeth Moon. The Traitor' - David Weber. And others from: Dan Abnett, Tony Ballantyne, Fredric Brown, Algis Budrys, Simon R. Green, Joe Haldeman, John Kessel, John Lambshead, Paul McAuley, Andy Remic, Laura Resnick, Mike Resnick & Brad R. Torgersen, Fred Saberhagen, Cordwainer Smith, Allen Steele, William Tenn, Walter Jon Williams, Michael Z. Williamson, Gene Wolfe.

A humorous collection of hundreds of funny news stories, whacky phenomena, and hilarious blunders and gaffes from around the world, such as: the woman who smuggled 75 live snakes in her bra; the man who held a funeral for his amputated foot; the radioactive cat which got mistaken for a bomb; the human tongue that got served up in a hospital; the X-ray that revealed E.T.'s face in a duck; the youth who woke to find a bullet in his tongue; the tortoise that set a house on fire; and many more.

This bumper collection of Irish humour covers topics such as Absenteeism and Zoos and everything in between. It would be disappointing should such a large collection not include the best of famous Irish wits such as Oscar Wilde and George Bernard Shaw, but the emphasis is very much on contemporary Irish humour from the likes of Tommy Tiernan, Dylan Moran, Ardal O'Hanlon and Dara O'Briain, to name just a few. Lunatic, iconoclastic and, as Spike Milligan might have put it, involving 'sideways thinking', this is Irish humour at its very best.

Part exploration, part knowledge building, and part narration, Work and the Older Person: Increasing Longevity and Well-Being draws on the latest research from a variety of disciplines and resources to paint a complete picture of productivity in old age. Dr. Linda A. Hunt and Caroline E. Wolverson, along with 11 contributors, discuss the relationship between work and aging and highlight the importance of working into old age. Each chapter of Work and the Older Person focuses on narratives from older workers that support the evidence presented with personal stories. These stories illustrate the opportunities, challenges, frustrations, and choices that older people face in maintaining a productive lifestyle. Simultaneously, the text highlights current events and the economy largely within Western societies and discusses the struggle some countries have supplying the financial benefits paid to retirees. Overall, the text shows how working into old age can contribute to longevity and greater quality of life. Occupational therapists, occupational therapy assistants, gerontologists, social workers, psychologists, and those working with older people in the health and social care sector will appreciate the inspiring accounts from older workers discussing how work contributes to their self-identity, quality of life, health, and well-being. Work and the Older Person: Increasing Longevity and Well-Being shows how engaging in occupations brings purpose to people’s lives. The text will be of value to all professionals working with older adults, as well as older adults themselves looking to maintain a productive lifestyle.