The Seinfeld Scripts

Jerry. George. Elaine. Kramer. We've followed their misadventures for nearly ten years on Thursday nights. Here, finally, are the scripts of the first two seasons that will take you back to the beginning of Seinfeld. Featuring the first 17 episodes ever aired, The Seinfeld Scripts contains all the great lines that have kept us laughing for years: the pilot episode, "The Seinfeld Chronicles," where it all began; George introduces his importer/exporter altar ego Art Vanderlay in "The Stakeout"; Kramer becomes obsessed with cantaloupe in "The Ex-Girlfriend"; Jerry and George meet Elaine's dad in "The Jacket"; is Jerry responsible for a poor Polish woman's death when he makes "The Pony Remark"?; Jerry and Elaine decide to become intimate again in "The Deal"; what will George do when he is banned from the executive bathroom in "The Revenge"?; and Jerry, George, and Elaine wait for a table in "The Chinese Restaurant." It's all here: the award-winning writing of Seinfeld, "the defining sitcom of our age". Created by Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld. Elaine: My roommate has Lyme disease. Jerry: Lyme disease? I thought she had Epstein-Barr syndrome? Elaine: She has this in addition to Epstein-Barr. It's like Epstein-Barr with a twist of Lyme disease. George: She calls me up at my office she says, "We have to talk." Jerry: The four worst words in the English language. Kramer: What a body. Yeeaaah...that's for me. Jerry: Yeah and you're just what she's looking for, too--a stranger, leering through a pair of binoculars ten floors up.

Larry David, the man behind two of the most successful and critically acclaimed sitcoms in television history, is the focus of this biography. This unofficial guide follows the career that has accorded him status as a comic genius and garnered a fanatical following—from his early exploits as a stand-up comic to his role as producer and cocreator of Seinfeld and HBO’s Curb Your Enthusiasm. It explores the back-story of the conception and development of Curb Your Enthusiasm, a mostly improvised sitcom in which the actor stars as a fictionalized version of himself. The comic’s on- and off-screen relationships with colleagues and friends such as Richard Lewis, Ted Danson, Wanda Sykes, Mary Steenburgen, and the cast members of Seinfeld are discussed, and a detailed episode guide to every season of Curb Your Enthusiasm completes this informative and entertaining glimpse into the life and creative process of a great comic talent.

Miller’s groundbreaking first novel, banned in Britain for almost thirty years.

The first book in twenty-five years from “one of our great comic minds” (The Washington Post) features Seinfeld’s best work across five decades in comedy. Since his first performance at the legendary New York nightclub “Catch a Rising Star” as a twenty-one-year-old college student in fall of 1975, Jerry Seinfeld has written his own material and saved everything. “Whenever I came up with a funny bit, whether it happened on a stage, in a conversation, or working it out on my preferred canvas, the big yellow legal pad, I kept it in one of those old school accordion folders,” Seinfeld writes. “So I have everything I thought was worth saving from forty-five years of hacking away at this for all I was worth.” For this book, Jerry Seinfeld has selected his favorite material, organized decade by decade. In this “trove of laugh-out-loud one-liners” (Associated Press), you will witness the evolution of one of the great comedians of our time and gain new insights into the thrilling but unforgiving art of writing stand-up comedy.

Seinfeld. For more than 33 million viewers, the Emmy Award-winning television show had become a Thursday night ritual. The show has ended, but Jerry Seinfeld's distinct brand of humor can still be yours. In his #1 New York Times bestselling book, SeinLanguage, Jerry Seinfeld has captured on the page his views on topics ranging from Raisinettes to relationships, from childhood to cop shows, and from parents to power suits. This is a must-have book for all fans--and who isn't a fan?

This first-time publication of 15 full scripts from NBC's Emmy Award-winning sitcom includes background information on the stars and characters plus 30 color photos and an Introduction by Christopher Lloyd, the show's executive producer.

Semi-Finalist for the 2019 James Thurber Award * One of Vulture's Top-10 Comedy Books of 2018 * A "Must" pick by Entertainment Weekly * An A.V. Club Best Books selection * A "New and Noteworthy" selection by USA Today In celebration of The Simpsons thirtieth anniversary, the show’s longest-serving writer and producer offers a humorous look at the writing and making of the legendary Fox series that has become one of the most revered artistic achievements in television history. Four-time Emmy winner Mike Reiss—who has worked on The Simpsons continuously since episode one in 1989—shares stories, scandals, and gossip about working with America’s most iconic cartoon family ever. Reiss explains how the episodes are created, and provides an inside look at the show’s writers, animators, actors and celebrity guests. He answers a range of questions from Simpsons fans and die-hards, and reminisces about the making of perennially favorite episodes. In his freewheeling, irreverent comic style, Reiss reflects on his lifetime inside The Simpsons—a personal highlights reel of his achievements, observations, and favorite stories. Springfield Confidential exposes why Matt Groening decided to make all of the characters yellow; dishes on what it’s like to be crammed in a room full of funny writers sixty hours a week; and tells what Reiss learned after traveling to seventy-one countries where The Simpsons is watched (ironic note: there’s no electricity in many of these places); and even reveals where Springfield is located! He features unique interviews with Judd Apatow, who also provided the foreword, and Conan O'Brien, as well as with Simpsons legends Al Jean, Nancy Cartwright, Dan Castellaneta, and more. Like Cary Elwes’ As You Wish, Jennifer Keishin Armstrong’s Seinfeldia, and Chris Smith’s The Daily Show: An Oral History, Springfield Confidential is a funny, informational, and exclusive look at one of the most beloved programs in all of television land.

Humorist Keaton Patti "forced a bot" to digest massive amounts of human media to produce these absurdly funny, “totally real,” “bot-generated” scripts, essays, advertisements, and more. Ever wonder what an AI bot might come up with if tasked with creative writing? From Olive Garden commercials to White House press briefings to Game of Thrones scripts, writer and comedian Keaton Patti’s “bot” recognizes and heightens the tropes of whatever it’s reproducing to hilarious effect. Each “bot-generated” piece can be enjoyed as surrealist commentary on the media we consume every day or simply as silly robot jokes—either way, you’ll probably end up laughing.