The Snark Handbook Insult Edition

The bestselling book on the art of the insult is back and it’s more blasphemous than ever. Author and snark connoisseur Lawrence Dorfman does his absolute worst, dishing out hundreds of clever insults for all situations and occasions. From careful instructions on how and when to throw a verbal punch to an expertly curated collection of the best insults in history, this uproarious little book has everything you need to become the ultimate slanderer. Every page is packed with delightfully mean one-liners for swiftly scorning your foes: “You’re not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately.” “You started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.” “His men would follow him anywhere but it was only out of morbid curiosity.” “Perhaps your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.” “You fill a much-needed gap.” Complete with charming black and white drawings that complement the book’s verbal spars, The Snark Handbook: Insult Edition proves that the pen truly is mightier than the sword, and will ensure you’re never again without the perfect quip or comeback.

The beloved "Snark Handbook" is back in a new edition--making readers smarterand, more importantly, better than everyone else.

What do Dorothy Parker, Groucho Marx, H. L. Mencken, Oscar Wilde, Robert Benchley, George Bernard Shaw, Jules Feiffer, Bill Hicks, Bill Maher, Phyllis Diller, Édith Piaf, W. C. Fields, Mark Twain, Voltaire, Charles Bukowski, and countless others have in common? Not a thing, other than each was a brilliantly snarky wit and all are included in this compendium of the original snark handbooks. Hear wit, sarcasm, and offhanded comments from: The Snark Handbook: A Reference Guide to Verbal Sparring The Snark Handbook: Insult Edition The Snark Handbook: Sex Edition Snark! The Herald Angels Sing The Snark Handbook: Politics and Government Edition The Snark Handbook: Clichés Edition The Snark Handbook: Parenting Edition Isn’t that enough!?!? A minor literary success (beloved by both minors and miners), the snark handbooks have cemented their position in the literary world, high atop toilet seats everywhere. Now in one great big edition, this lofty tome promises to fulfill the need to chuckle, guffaw, titter, groan, and belly laugh as readers dip in and out of the great minds in literature, comedy, movies, music, and more. Proceed with caution.

The bestselling book on the art of the insult is back and it’s more blasphemous than ever. Author and snark connoisseur Lawrence Dorfman does his absolute worst, dishing out hundreds of clever insults for all situations and occasions. From careful instructions on how and when to throw a verbal punch to an expertly curated collection of the best insults in history, this uproarious little book has everything you need to become the ultimate slanderer. Every page is packed with delightfully mean one-liners for swiftly scorning your foes: “You’re not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately.” “You started at the bottom, and it’s been downhill ever since.” “His men would follow him anywhere but it was only out of morbid curiosity.” “Perhaps your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.” “You fill a much-needed gap.” Complete with charming black and white drawings that complement the book’s verbal spars, The Snark Handbook: Insult Edition proves that the pen truly is mightier than the sword, and will ensure you’re never again without the perfect quip or comeback.

The lord of snark, Lawrence Dorfman, is back! With this treasury of backhanded compliments, sarcastic insults, and catty comebacks, Dorfman gives us transformative wisdom that’s sure to change your life—or at least induce a light chuckle. One question plagues us all: How do we survive all the Sturm und Drang of everyday life? The answer is but one word: snark. “She wears her clothes as if they were thrown on by a pitchfork.” —Jonathan Swift “Why don’t you get a haircut? You look like a chrysanthemum.” —P. G. Wodehouse “He’s a mental midget with the IQ of a fence post.” —Tom Waits “They hardly make ’em like him anymore—but just to be on the safe side, he should be castrated anyway.” —Hunter S. Thompson “He has a Teflon brain . . . nothing sticks” —Lily Tomlin “He has no more backbone than a chocolate éclair.” —Theodore Roosevelt Snark will keep the wolves at bay (or at least out on the porch). Snark, much like a double scotch, will help you deal with relatives, shopping, and rudeness; it is an outlet for the unleashed vitriolic bile that’s saved itself up over the months. Like a shield, it will protect you while you go about your life. Snark is your answer!

The Snark Handbook is back and it’s more uproarious than ever. This revised and expanded edition contains even more snide remarks, witty comebacks, and biting commentary than the bestselling first edition. With dozens of hilarious jokes, plus lists such as “Snarky Movie Descriptions,” “Money Can’t Buy You Happiness, But it Can Buy…”, and “Excuses to Get Out of a Date,” it’s easy to find the perfect bit of irreverence to fit every mood and occasion. The Snark Handbook also features hundreds of the best quotes from beloved heroes of snark: “If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.”-Dorothy Parker “I never forget a face, but in your case, I’m happy to make an exception”-Groucho Marx “There are books of which the backs and covers are by far the best part.”-Charles Dickens “I’m at an age where my back goes out more than I do.”-Phyllis Diller With charming black and white illustrations to accompany the wry remarks on every page, The Snark Handbook is as fun to look at as it is to read. It’s a must-have whether you want to brush up on your snark, need a good laugh after a bad day, or are looking for the perfect gift for your favorite smartass.

Renowned snark scholar Lawrence Dorfman is back, bringing together the worlds of snark and insult. The result is nothing short of brilliant. Friend, you hold much more than a book of quotes, but so much less than a masterpiece like Crime and Punishment. Comebacks and curiosities, jokes and philosophical witticisms, all come together in this instant classic. Includes snarks such as: "You're a mouse studying to be a rat." - Wilson Mizner or "Mr. Huxley is perhaps one of those people who have to perpetrate thirty bad novels before producing a good one."- T. S. Eliot on Aldous Huxley or "He knows so little and knows it so fluently." Ellen Glasgow.

Adam said to Eve, "Stand back, I don't know how big this thing gets." Funny, Lawrence Dorfman said the same thing to his publisher about The Snark Handbook series. There's a fine line between sex and snark - and we're going to exploit it for all it's worth. Think Plato and Platypus Walk Into a Bar meets The Surrender. Now Dorfman draws on his vast experiences (based mostly on a stack of old Penthouses) to give us a titillating commentary on everyone's favorite subject: sex, or the lack thereof. If The New Yorker.com said, "I'm not sure why I even opened The Snark Handbook: Insult Edition, but I'm very glad I did, because Lawrence Dorfman has assembled a heroic collection. I spent an hour in a state of catharsis, reveling in the sufficiency of the insults," just imagine the reviewer's state after an hour reading the Sex Edition! Here are sharply witty personal observations, jokes, quotations, he-said-she-said snarks, and much much more. For a taste of what's to come: "I'd like to meet the man who invented sex and see what he's working on now." - George Carlin. "We have reason to believe that man first walked upright to free his hands for masturbation." - Lily Tomlin.