The Way I Used To Be

THE TIKTOK SENSATION THAT EVERYONE IS TALKING ABOUT 'After finishing this book, my heart was pounding and I couldn’t find words big enough to describe how brilliant, beautiful, and powerful it is.' L.E. Flynn, author of All Eyes On Her All Eden wants is to rewind the clock. To live that day again. She would do everything differently. Not laugh at his jokes or ignore the way he was looking at her that night. And she would definitely lock her bedroom door. But Eden can’t turn back time. So she buries the truth, along with the girl she used to be. She pretends she doesn’t need friends, doesn’t need love, doesn’t need justice. But as her world unravels, one thing becomes clear: the only person who can save Eden … is Eden.

New York Times bestseller! In the tradition of Speak, Amber Smith's extraordinary debut novel “is a heart-twisting, but ultimately hopeful, exploration of how pain can lead to strength” (The Boston Globe). Eden was always good at being good. Starting high school didn’t change who she was. But the night her brother’s best friend rapes her, Eden’s world capsizes. What was once simple, is now complex. What Eden once loved—who she once loved—she now hates. What she thought she knew to be true, is now lies. Nothing makes sense anymore, and she knows she’s supposed to tell someone what happened but she can’t. So she buries it instead. And she buries the way she used to be. Told in four parts—freshman, sophomore, junior, and senior year—this provocative debut reveals the deep cuts of trauma. But it also demonstrates one young woman’s strength as she navigates the disappointment and unbearable pains of adolescence, of first love and first heartbreak, of friendships broken and rebuilt, all while learning to embrace the power of survival she never knew she had hidden within her heart.

"After fourteen-year-old Eden is raped by her brother's best friend, she knows she'll never be the way she used to be"--

“Heartwrenching.” —VOYA (starred review) “Beautiful, captivating prose.” —RT Book Reviews A twisted tragedy leaves Brooke and her siblings on their own in this provocative novel from the New York Times bestselling author of The Way I Used to Be. How do you let go of something you’ve never had? Junior year for Brooke Winters is supposed to be about change. She’s transferring schools, starting fresh, and making plans for college so she can finally leave her hometown, her family, and her past behind. But all of her dreams are shattered one hot summer afternoon when her mother is arrested for killing Brooke’s abusive father. No one really knows what happened that day, if it was premeditated or self-defense, whether it was right or wrong. And now Brooke and her siblings are on their own. In a year of firsts—the first year without parents, first love, first heartbreak, and her first taste of freedom—Brooke must confront the shadow of her family’s violence and dysfunction, as she struggles to embrace her identity, finds her true place in the world, and learns how to let go.

After coming out as transgender, Chris is still processing a frightening assault he survived the year before, while Maia, grieving the loss of her older sister, is trying to find her place in the world, which makes falling in love the furthest thing on their minds--until it is not.

A young woman struggles to find strength in the aftermath of an assault in the New York Times bestselling The Way I Used to Be and tries to move forward in its much anticipated sequel, The Way I Am Now—now available together in a hardcover boxed set. Eden was always good at being good. Starting high school didn’t change who she was. But the night her brother’s best friend rapes her, Eden’s world capsizes. What was once simple is now complex. What Eden once loved—who she once loved—she now hates. What she thought she knew to be true is now lies. Nothing makes sense anymore, and she knows she’s supposed to tell someone what happened, but she can’t. So she buries it instead. And she buries the way she used to be. Following Eden through all four years of high school and beyond as she starts college, this deeply moving duology reveals the deep cuts of trauma. But it also demonstrates one young woman’s strength as she navigates the disappointment of adolescence, first love and first heartbreak, and friendships broken and rebuilt, all while learning to embrace a power of survival she never knew she had hidden within her heart. This hardcover boxed set includes: The Way I Used to Be The Way I Am Now

If he had been with me everything would have been different... I wasn't with Finn on that August night. But I should've been. It was raining, of course. And he and Sylvie were arguing as he drove down the slick road. No one ever says what they were arguing about. Other people think it's not important. They do not know there is another story. The story that lurks between the facts. What they do not know—the cause of the argument—is crucial. So let me tell you...

From the #1 New York Times bestselling author of Book Lovers and Beach Read comes a sparkling novel that will leave you with the warm, hazy afterglow usually reserved for the best vacations. Two best friends. Ten summer trips. One last chance to fall in love. Poppy and Alex. Alex and Poppy. They have nothing in common. She’s a wild child; he wears khakis. She has insatiable wanderlust; he prefers to stay home with a book. And somehow, ever since a fateful car share home from college many years ago, they are the very best of friends. For most of the year they live far apart—she’s in New York City, and he’s in their small hometown—but every summer, for a decade, they have taken one glorious week of vacation together. Until two years ago, when they ruined everything. They haven't spoken since. Poppy has everything she should want, but she’s stuck in a rut. When someone asks when she was last truly happy, she knows, without a doubt, it was on that ill-fated, final trip with Alex. And so, she decides to convince her best friend to take one more vacation together—lay everything on the table, make it all right. Miraculously, he agrees. Now she has a week to fix everything. If only she can get around the one big truth that has always stood quietly in the middle of their seemingly perfect relationship. What could possibly go wrong? Named a Most Anticipated Book of 2021 by Newsweek ∙ Oprah Magazine ∙ The Skimm ∙ Marie Claire ∙ Parade ∙ The Wall Street Journal ∙ Chicago Tribune ∙ PopSugar ∙ BookPage ∙ BookBub ∙ Betches ∙ SheReads ∙ Good Housekeeping ∙ BuzzFeed ∙ Business Insider ∙ Real Simple ∙ Frolic ∙ and more!