The Worst Football Team

This is about the football-playing members of the two schools who, although playing in the same game, turned out entirely different from each other and from the supposed mission of high school sports. The coaches of the two squads were severe, but one of the coaches of the losers found some humor in this grab bag of players he had inherited. The book traces the happenings on the gridiron of a small school football team that cannot win a game. Their winless situation is created by lack of size, leadership, and talent. There is a rough side to the treatment parceled out by the two coaches methods, and at least in one case, there is some humor involved. The quarterback of the losing team was the books author, who had an insiders look at the game as his dad was the teams former coach. The author spices up the story by exploring sensitive topics, including interracial dating, teen smoking and drinking, and premarital sex, not to mention the woman beating, which led to a campus murder.

Reject Rovers are about to make history. If they lose one more game they'll claim a place in the records books as the official Worst Team of All Time. Can Kevin 'Panic' Taylor transform his team of no-hopers before Saturday?

The Worst Football Team - a brand new football comedy from bestselling Football Boy Wonder author Martin Smith. This is a football story with a difference. A funny football book that children will love .. and will make the adults reading with them laugh out loud too. Because who doesn't love an underdog soccer story? Meet Pellie, Hildy, Dribbler, Bolo, Stevie, Dazza, and Brendan. These are the players for Lane FC Meerkats Under-7s. Once you've seen Meerkats play, you won't forget - because they're the worst football team the world has ever seen. I know. I know. They can't be that bad. I'm being harsh. Or too dramatic. Trust me. I'm not. They are TERRIBLE. No, they're even worse than that. Most of the team can't kick the ball, or run in the right direction. Half of them don't even like football. One of the team does like spiders, though. And he talks about them - ALL OF THE TIME. Coach Mark is great. He's been training Meerkats for a year. And he has high hopes for them. They still can't attack, defend or pass. But they are great at causing trouble in all sorts of different ways. The football season is here, and the first big match is nearing close. Can Coach Mark inspire the Meerkats to glory? HA HA HA! Good one. No, just no. Don't be so silly. But Coach Mark hopes they might score a goal - someday. ABOUT THE BOOK: The Worst Football Team is aimed at children aged 5-8. It is a hilarious story of being part of a team, fun, poop, football, and spiders. Children will love the crazy characters - and parents will chuckle at poor Coach Mark's despair as they read along with their kids. So many kids' football books are serious. Not this book. In fact, it is the exact opposite. Funny soccer books for children are hard to find. This, I hope, fills the gap. An absurd number of boys and girls play football every week. They're all better than Lane FC Meerkats Under-7s, I assure you. But it's not always about the result, is it? Half the time, it's the adventures that a team has before, during and after a match. And I hope - in some small way - everyone, whether child or adult, can relate to The Worst Football Team. ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Martin Smith wrote The Football Boy Wonder, the first part of the bestselling Charlie Fry Series. It tells the story of a boy with cystic fibrosis who becomes the world's greatest footballer after a freak accident. Aimed at children 8-11, the series has fans across the world - raising awareness about living with cystic fibrosis with every copy sold. Now a retired journalist with advanced CF himself, Martin writes kids' stories in his spare time, mainly to keep away from the fridge.

The purpose of this book is to introduce youngsters who like football to the story of Jesus and some of the basic elements of the Christian faith. It can be read as a straight story, but there is the option of discussion in the form of questions at the end of each chapter. The questions relate to what they have just read but also give the group the opportunity to reflect on their own lives and their experiences. There are also leaders' notes at the end of each chapter. It is the story of twelve characters who play for a truly dreadful football team. Their manager quits, and they are left wondering whether they might never find a new leader. Then a new manager, James Cooper, comes into their lives and teaches them about the true nature of success. Eleven of them accept his message and begin to change. However, Jude Lucas refuses to accept the message and wants to win football matches at all costs. The story follows the eleven youngsters as they try to put into practice the new way of life they have learned about and compares their story with Jude's, who continues to live the same way. It is a story about the everyday problems which youngsters face, temptations to cheat, and the battle to be accepted and be popular among peers. It includes the battle against irrational fears and dealing with loss. By the end of the story, Jude has left to join a better football team, but he does not find the happiness that the other eleven do. Right at the end, James Cooper announces that he must also leave. He leaves with the message that he is proud of the team who are winners in the true sense of the word.

TAKE THEM OUT OF THE BALL GAME–PLEASE! From star running back Bryon “Bam” Morris’s interesting (and totally illegal) sideline career to the 1950s Kansas City A’s sneaky relationship with the New York Yankees; from French golfer Jean Van de Velde’s epic choke on 18 at the 1999 British Open to the infamous Cleveland Ten-Cent Beer Night riot of 1974; from Hungary’s bloody 1956 Olympic water polo match with the Soviet Union to the definitive analysis of basketball coach Larry Brown’s sartorial evolution and hoops maven Mike Fratello’s hair devolution–if it’s bad and sports related, then it’s likely in The Worst of Sports. An uproarious collection of the most controversial and regrettable moments in major pro and college athletics, with a sprinkling of the obscure, The Worst of Sports is a compendium of abject failure, harebrained decision-making, avarice, and rank stupidity–in other words, the stuff that some athletes, and fans, are best at. Whether you’re a casual fan or a face-painting zealot, you’ll find plenty to root for (or against) in The Worst of Sports. “Original and funny, this book will entertain the pessimist that lurks in all of us who don’t root for the Yankees.” –Mike Greenberg, author of Why My Wife Thinks I’m an Idiot

"This book is invaluable!" Alexander Armstrong Children ask the funniest questions: Why does sweetcorn come out the same as when I ate it? Do spiders speak? Why does Daddy never win the lottery? Which is faster, a Velociraptor or a cheetah? How does the lady in the satnav know where to go? Does my goldfish know who I am? (Do you think fish have two-second memories? Find out the truth on page 94!) This book takes real children's questions gathered from primary schools across the UK and asks some of the greatest thinkers and experts of our time to give short and accessible answers. Brian Cox explores the edge of the universe, Sir David Attenborough tells us whether monkeys could ever turn into men, and Miranda Hart ponders why it's funny when someone farts. Other contributors include Bear Grylls, Sir Paul McCartney, Sir Quentin Blake, Heston Blumenthal, Kate Humble, John Lanchester, A. C. Grayling, Jeremy Paxman, Dan Snow, Jojo Moyes and Tony Robinson. Does My Goldfish Know Who I Am? is a treasury of surprising facts and insights inspired by the curiosity of children. It is the perfect family gift - because sometimes grown-ups need help with the answers too. At least 33% of the publisher's advance payments and 67% of net royalty income in respect of sales of this book is donated to the NSPCC (Registered Charity Numbers 216401 & SC037717).

As the first edited collection dedicated specifically to race, ethnicity and British football, this book brings together a range of academics, comprising both established commentators and up-and-coming voices. Combining theoretical and empirical contributions, the volume addresses a wide variety of topics such as the experiences of Muslims, the recruitment of African players, devolution and national identities, case studies of minority ethnic clubs, "mixed-race" players, multiculturalism and anti-racism, sectarianism, education, and covering the amateur and professional spheres, and focusing on both players and supporters, the book elucidates the linkages between race, ethnicity, gender and masculinity.