The Wrong Of Rudeness

Being rude is often more gratifying and enjoyable than being polite. Likewise, rudeness can be a more accurate and powerful reflection of how I feel and think. This is especially true in a political environment that can make being polite seem foolish or naive. Civility and ordinary politeness are linked both to big values, such as respect and consideration, and to the fundamentally social nature of human beings. This book explores the powerful temptations to incivility and rudeness, but argues that they should generally be resisted. Drawing on early Chinese philosophers who lived during great political turmoil but nonetheless sought to “mind their manners,” it articulates a way of thinking about politeness that is distinctively social. It takes as a given that we can feel profoundly alienated from others, and that other people can sometimes be truly terrible. Yet because we are social neglecting the social and political courtesies comes at great cost. The book considers not simply why civility and politeness are important, but how. It addresses how small insults can damage social relations, how separation of people into tribes undermines our better interests, and explores how bodily and facial expressions can influence how life with other people goes. It is especially geared toward anyone who feels the temptation of being rude and wishes it were easier to feel otherwise. It seeks to answer a question of great contemporary urgency: When so much of public and social life with others is painful and fractious, why should I be polite?

In a time of fractious politics, being rude can feel wickedly gratifying, while being polite can feel simple-minded or willfully naïve. Do manners and civility even matter now? Is it worthwhile to make the effort to be polite? When rudeness has become routine and commonplace, why bother? When so much of public and social life with others is painful and bitterly acrimonious, why should anyone be polite? As Amy Olberding argues, civility and ordinary politeness are linked both to big values, such as respect and consideration, and to the fundamentally social nature of human beings. Being polite is not just a nicety--it has deep meaning. Olberding explores the often overwhelming temptations to incivility and rudeness, and the ways that they must and can be resisted. Drawing on the wisdom of early Chinese philosophers who lived through great political turmoil but nonetheless avidly sought to "mind their manners," the book articulates a way of thinking about politeness that is distinctively social. We can feel profoundly alienated from others, and others can sometimes be truly terrible, yet, as the Confucian philosophers encourage us to see, because we are social, neglecting the social and political courtesies comes at perilous cost. The book considers not simply why civility and politeness are important, but how. It reveals how small insults can accumulate to damage social relations, how separating people into tribes undermines our better interests, and how even bodily and facial expressions can influence our lives with others. Many of us, in spite of our best efforts, are often tempted to be rude, and will find here tools for fighting that temptation.

"Of all the things in the world to worry about, why would anyone put the right for women to be rude at the top of the list? It's a fair question. Happily, there is a very simple answer: I believe that an inability to be rude is one of the biggest issues which still inhibits the equality of women today." The Power of Rude will discuss the way women are constantly worrying about being polite, even finding themselves in uncomfortable situations they'd rather avoid due to a fear of saying the wrong thing. For example, we'll learn about the woman who paid for an entire hen do that she wasn't even invited on (because she didn't want to be rude!), the woman who let her cousin practice kissing on her (because she didn't want to be rude!) and the vegan woman who ate an entire pork chop (because she didn't want to be rude!). This empowering call-to-arms will journey through dating, family relationships, sex, the workplace, money, customer service, and more and show women how we can reclaim the word 'rude' and use it to advantage. For decades, women have been called 'bossy', 'hysterical' and 'neurotic' in situations where men might simply be dubbed 'assertive'. We need to change the narrative around women and we need to use our voices to take control. Rebecca Reid isn't afraid to show us how.

A story about a rude cake who never says please or thank you or listens to its parents, and a Giant Cyclops who is polite.

"Deliciously hilarious. If you care about people and enjoy a good laugh, I politely encourage you to read this book. Immediately." --Adam Grant, bestselling author of Originals From the brilliant comedic mind behind the hit movie Yes Man, a hilarious and pitch-perfect look at the rudeness that's all around us -- where it comes from, how it affects us, and what we can do about it You're not just imagining it: People are getting more and more rude - from cutting in line, gabbing on their phones and clipping their nails on public transportation, to hurling epithets on Twitter and in real life (including a certain President who does both). And the worst part is that it's contagious, leading reasonably courteous people to stoop to new lows in order to respond to the ever-coarsening encounters we face every day. In this engaging and illuminating new book, bestselling author and all-around curious guy Danny Wallace looks at the reasons behind the rudeness, and what we can do to stop it. His quest to stop the madness includes interviews with neuroscientists, psychologists, NASA scientists, politicians, and other experts. He joins a Radical Honesty group, talks to LA drivers about road rage, and confronts his own online troll in a pub--all to better understand the scourge that's turning normal people into bullies, tantruming toddlers, trolls, and other types of everyday monsters. Want to be part of the solution? Let Danny Wallace be your smart and funny guide.

Hilarious etiquette and manners guide teaches teens how to use manners to gain respect, feel good about themselves, and enjoy life to the fullest. Discussing etiquette and manners from common courtesies to cell-phone smarts to classroom decorum, Alex J. Packer blends outrageous humor with sound advice as he explains why etiquette and manners are important—because people who know how to handle themselves in social situations come out on top, get what they want, feel good about themselves, and enjoy life to the fullest. Full of practical tips for every occasion, How Rude! is a serious etiquette and manners encyclopedia—and a hilarious read. This revised and updated edition describes the basics of polite behavior in all kinds of situations at home, in school, online, and in the world. ​For more must-have advice from Alex J. Packer, Ph.D., check out Slaying Digital Dragons: Tips and tools for protecting your body, brain, psyche, and thumbs from the digital dark side.

An “extremely funny” take on the decline of civility, from the #1 New York Times–bestselling author of How the Hell Did This Happen? (The Plain Dealer). In Modern Manners, cultural guru P. J. O’Rourke provides the essential accessory for the truly contemporary man or woman—a rulebook for living in a world without rules. Traditionally, good manners were a means of becoming as bland and invisible as everyone else, thus avoiding calling attention to one’s own awkwardness and stupidity. Today, with everyone wanting to appear special, stupidity is at a premium, and manners—as outrageous and bizarre as possible—are a wonderful way to distinguish ourselves, or at least have a fine time trying. This irreverent and hilarious guide to anti-etiquette offers pointed advice on topics from sex and entertaining to reading habits and death. With the most up-to-date forms of vulgarity, churlishness, and presumption, the latest fashions in discourtesy and barbarous display, O’Rourke is our guide to the art of incivility. “Modern Manners is O’Rourke doing what he has always done: making hilarious, insightful, often vicious fun of the world and all its inhabitants.” —People “A reader who rushes through [Modern Manners] from cover to cover—like I did—will feel like a child who has gorged on chocolate cake: happy, but a bit disappointed that it’s all gone. The reason O’Rourke’s book is so successful, however, is not just his great sense of humor. O’Rourke’s writing has a cutting edge behind it, which makes a reader’s laughter just a bit thought-provoking, and just a bit rueful . . . Very funny.” —Chicago Tribune