This Mom Needs A Mother Fucking Drink

Need a funny gift that is actually fun and relaxing? Discover the hottest trend with this best-selling title. This irreverent and sweary coloring book features laugh-out-loud funny and original designs that are perfect for taking the stress out of work and all the other stuff life can throw at a person. Provides HOURS of coloring FUN, at home, in the car, or when trying not to swear out loud(!). Makes the perfect gift for holidays and birthdays. FEATURES: 45+ High Quality Original Coloring Pages 100 Pages, High Quality Paper Great for pens, markers, watercolor, colored pencils, etc. Large Page size 8.5x11 Inches for easy use. A seriously hilarious gift for yourself or anyone who needs to let off steam. Get on board the latest trend and start coloring today!

If you feel like your kids are killing you, you’ve come to the right place. This irreverant, hilarious guide to the trials of motherhood makes the perfect gift for mom—or any woman with a huge heart and a mouth that sometimes needs washing out with soap. Attention all potty-mouthed, cheap-wine-drinking mothers: Prepare to meet your match. Any bad thought you’ve had about your kids, Nicole Knepper has had worse. Much worse. It’s not that she doesn’t love her kids. It’s that she understands what a mind-f*?% it can be to try to civilize those wild little beasts. Based on her hugely popular Facebook page, “Moms Who Drink and Swear,” this book reveals why family dinners are like herpes, how to avoid smashing toys that are being fought over, and the joy of hearing that your son has murdered his imaginary friend. As Nicole rants and raves about caring for children (without crushing their souls), family togetherness (without too many tears), the saving grace of girlfriends (and vodka), and love and marriage (and all the baggage that goes with them), she gets to the heart of what every exasperated mom is thinking, just much funnier.

Pull Mommy back from the edge with this irreverent adult coloring book! MOMMY DRINKS BECAUSE YOU CRY is the adult coloring book for the delightfully impolite. For the rare moments you have to yourself, enjoy the calming act of coloring with a little dose of sass. This collection of beautiful designs and fun illustrations are paired with the very best of all our worst thoughts, from “I child-proofed my house, but they still get in,” to “Home is where the vodka is.” Each hilariously captioned design is printed on sturdy, tear-out pages perfect for amusing decoration or passive-aggressive gift-giving. When you want to unwind with coloring but aren’t in the mood to embrace sunshine and daisies, MOMMY DRINKS BECAUSE YOU CRY is the perfect adult coloring book to let you speak your native sarcasm!

Three years after giving up drink, Jowita Bydlowska found herself throwing back a glass of champagne like it was ginger ale. "It's a special occasion," she said to her boyfriend. And indeed it was. It was a party celebrating the birth of their first child. It also marked Jowita's immediate, full-blown return to alcoholism and all that entails for a new mother who is at first determined to keep her problem a secret. Her trips to liquor stores are in-and-out missions. Perhaps she's being paranoid, but she thinks people tend to notice the stroller. Walking home, she stays behind buildings, in alleyways, taking discreet sips from a bottle she's stored in the diaper bag. She know she's become a villain: a mother who drinks; a mother who endangers her child. She drinks to forget this. And then the trouble really starts. Jowita Bydlowska's memoir of her relapse into addiction is an extraordinary achievement. The writing is raw and immediate. It places you in the moment--saddened, appalled, nerve-wracked, but never able to look away or stop turning the pages. With brutal honesty, Bydlowska takes us through the binges and blackouts, the self-deception and less successful attempts to deceive others, the humiliations and extraordinary risk-taking. She shines a light on the endless hunger of wanting just one more drink, and one more again, while dealing with motherhood, anxiety, depression--and rehab. Her struggle to regain her sobriety is recorded in the same unsentimental, unsparing, sometimes grimly comic way. But the happy outcome is evidenced by the existence of this brilliant book: she has lived to tell the tale.

It's nighttime and the air is cold. It's brisk as it washes over bare skin, a reminder that it's winter. And as you walk beneath the clear midnight sky, the moon casts a shadow ever so slightly, it reminds you that you're alive. At the age of twenty-eight, the Narrator has taken only three steps in life: one for being cynical, one for being bitter, and one for being jaded. But an extraordinary thing happens after a life-saving encounter with a stranger leads to an adventure of self-discovery and reawakening to the world. The journey brings the Narrator into the lives of a past love, a pregnant neighbor, and a churning river that nearly claims the Narrator's life. Are the relationships that develop after the accident mere coincidence, or part of something greater, and perhaps, driven by fate? thirty-six hours of self-imposed exile is a novel that poses the question, "What does it mean to be alive?" Through the changing of the Boston seasons, this novel explores the cyclical nature of the human state, from apathy to understanding, and from love to loss and back again.

In this book, the author writes about his ground-breaking and revolutionary idea about milk, or his ‘milk theory’, which explains in a logical and convincing manner why he does not drink milk, or why he thinks milk is not to be consumed by grownups. After hearing his talks, many people have given up milk completely. A few excerpts from his milk theory are: The way milk is made by a mother’s body clearly shows it is meant for her new born baby only; and the drying up of milk flow in a mother’s body soon after weaning the baby is further proof of this fact. After the weaning is done, no mammal ever drinks mother’s milk or others’ milk again throughout life. Other mammals know by instinct when they are to drink milk, and when they are not to drink milk. They know through instinct what is food for them, and what is not; and that what is not food for them, is not good for them. All mammal babies lose their ability to digest milk soon after the weaning is done - due to the drying up of lactase enzyme in their stomach - and all of them know this fact by instinct. This is the reason they never go back to drinking milk. Since there is undisputed logic and wisdom in creation, there is no reason why a grownup mammal would need milk at all. This can be seen from examples of wildlife, which are stronger and healthier than man, even without ever consuming any milk after being weaned. Animal instinct is God’s silent voice, through which He guides all his sentient creations and this instinct never goes wrong. "Milk is the biggest myth of the present millennium," says the author. "Milk is not merely food, but mother and child reunion, and a there is no room for a third party in this union," says the author. "As per the scheme of creation, a lactating mother produces only that much of milk required for feeding her own babies. It is morally and ethically wrong to take away that milk for the consumption of grownups who don't even need it" says the author.

Milo has two great moms, but he's never known what it's like to have a dad. When Milo's doctor suggests asking his biological father to undergo genetic testing to shed some light on Milo's extreme allergies, he realizes this is a golden opportunity to find the man he's always wondered about. Hollis's mom Leigh hasn't been the same since her other mom, Pam, passed away seven years ago. But suddenly, Leigh seems happy—giddy, even—by the thought of reconnecting with Hollis's half-brother Milo. Hollis and Milo were conceived using the same sperm donor. They met once, years ago, before Pam died. Now Milo has reached out to Hollis to help him find their donor. Along the way, they locate three other donor siblings, and they discover the true meaning of the other F-word: family.

THE FRUITS OF HIS LABOR: The true story of Professor Edmond Jefferson Oliver, Principal of Fairfield Industrial High School, it's staff, it's students, community, state of Alabama, the Nation and the World!!! By John B. Davis, Class of 1951 Fruit results from planted seeds, when seeds grow, they bear fruit, Galations 5:22, 23 We were taught that the fruit that you have to reach for is the sweetest!! The fruits of his labor are many: the world is blessed with Fairfield Industrial High School (F.I.H.S.) graduates eschewing their accomplishments through serving others!! As one of our graduates, Lois Macon, eloquently proclaimed, "There was a place called FAIRFIELD INDUSTRIAL HIGH SCHOOL and a man named EDMOND JEFFERSON OLIVER and his vision was to educate the coloreds living in a colored community, children of colored parents who worked at colored jobs to send their colored children to a colored school. The visionary, Professor Oliver with head bloody, but unbowed still forged ahead. Each drop of blood in the sand, like living water produced living fruit, sprouting all around is evidence of his passion. He calls to the visionaries and awaits that army to understand that each child of mother F.I.H.S. also has a purpose; that each is, and that is will be is when he or she is!" We, the graduates of Fairfield Industrial High School, are the fruits of his labor and some of our stories are unfolded in this book. Like a plant, Professor Oliver's roots are showing. He grew good people in our small town with honesty, sincerity and dignity! Drop this book on the floor and where ever it opens, it will be excellent reading! This true story is dedicated to our BLACK Community (I choose to capitalize the word (BLACK), because of all the hell we caught and are still catching in this country)!