Truly Funny Stories Vol 1

The collections from beloved mother-daughter writing duo Lisa Scottoline and Francesca Serritella are among the best reviewed humor books published today and have been compared to the late greats, Erma Bombeck and Nora Ephron. Here for the first time in a fabulous eBook bundle are two of their witty and warm collections. Why My Third Husband Will Be a Dog This one's for you, extraordinary ordinary women everywhere! Here Lisa Scottoline shares a hilarious collection of scenes from her real life, and she bets her life sounds a lot like yours...if you crave carbs, can't find jeans that fit, and still believe that these two things are unrelated. My Nest Isn't Empty, It Just Has More Closet Space Lisa and Francesca give their mother-daughter perspective on everything from blind dates to empty calories, as well as life with the feistiest octogenarian on the planet, Mother Mary. Three generations, triple the laughs-and the love.

VERY SHORT FUNNY STORIESIn this book of really short funny stories, one should expect nothing less than one short, short funny story after another. To say they are unique short funny stories or short funny jokes is of course relative, but none of the twelve stories on offer is more than a couple of pages long. And they all have the same purpose-to bring a smile to the reader's face, if not make him giggle, chuckle or laugh out loud in amusement.Verily, the short funny story jokes of this book can be enjoyed by young and old alike. So enjoy.

El Ninjo is going to demonstrate how he takes advantage of each single adventure that he is experiencing in various hilarious situations of life in Volume 1 and the situations go like this: * The Wake Upper Popper * The Straight Up Breakfast Table Shot * The Flying Carpet * The Backpack Burster * The Gasification In The Car * The Neighbour Detonator * The Imaginary Bone Shot Or Fart Expressionism * The Blue Hour In The Elevator (This is a brand new and never before released story. It is included for the first time in this new and enhanced color and audio version of the Fart Book) * The Delivery Boy Truck Detonater * The Stinky Tsunami * The Lego Blower * The Hand Stinker * The Marshmallow Shooter * The Steamy Sweat Blanket Pooper * The Gas Eruption in the Chicken Coop and many more... In Volume 3 he faces the most dangerous animals. He uses his bean blowing way in order to save his life! He gets attacked by the lion, the leopard, the crocodile, and many more dangerous animals in the jungle and in the end there is only one animal that he feels save to be around with. The list of the African Bean Fart Adventures in the Jungle goes like this: * Arrival At The Lodge With Poop & Pump * The Safari Mobil Breakdown * The Jungle Bang * The Bean Slam'n Smoke * The Artistic Liana Salto Blaster * The Tears Gas Boom * The Gorilla Sound Cloud and many more steamy Kenja bean blowing stories... One last word of WARNING from El Ninjo himself: "Don't forget to check your shorts after you finish reading...because you'll laugh so hard you might tear your pants. I heard some scary story about a brave 8 year old boy who got so excited and laughed so hard about one of my fart whiffing episodes, he tore his underpants! Don't ask me about the reaction of his Mom who had to wash and mend her son's poopy ripped pants. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha - This one is a real gag! This boy is now part of the flatulent secret society!"

The collections from beloved mother-daughter writing duo Lisa Scottoline and Francesca Serritella are among the best reviewed humor books published today and have been compared to the late greats, Erma Bombeck and Nora Ephron. Here for the first time in a fabulous eBook bundle are two of their witty and warm collections. Best Friends, Occasional Enemies Lisa and Francesca are best friends-99.9 percent of the time. In other words, they're just like every mother and daughter in the world-best friends and occasional enemies. Here they dish about it all, and whether you're a mother or a daughter you'll find yourself laughing, nodding, and reading this book to those you love. Meet Me at Emotional Baggage Claim How does a mother's love translate across state lines and over any semblance of personal boundaries? You'll laugh out loud as Lisa and Francesca face-off over the proper technique for packing dishes, the importance of bringing a coat in the summertime, and the dos and don'ts of dating at any age. Add Mother Mary to the mix, and you have a Molotov cocktail of estrogen, opinions, and fun.

Funny Girl is a collection of uproarious stories, rollicking comics, rib-tickling wit, and more, from 25 of today’s funniest female writers for kids. What could be funnier than family? Read stories about Ursula Brown's grandmother driving her on a road trip to disaster, Lisa Brown's little brother getting a Tic-Tac stuck up his nose, and Carmen Agra Deedy's mom setting the bathtub on fire. What could be funnier than friends? Pretty much nothing, as Rita Williams-Garcia shows two besties hatching a bird-brained scheme to get on to a TV talk show, and Deborah Underwood introduces a dynamic dog-and-cat duo teaming up on a pet advice column. What could be funnier than YOU? Tell your future with Mad Libs, discover your Chinese Zodiac sign with Lenore Look, and learn the best tricks of the comedy trade from professional humorists like Adrianne Chalepah and Delaney Yeager. With clever contributions from award-winning and bestselling authors including Cece Bell, Sophie Blackall, Libba Bray, Shannon Hale, Lisa Graff, and Raina Telgemeier, this anthology of funny girls will make you laugh until you cry. Or cry until you laugh. Or maybe you won't cry at all. Either way, you'll definitely laugh. Funny Girl isn’t just an anthology: it’s a cause, a mission, a movement. Girls are funny. Now it’s time for the world to know it.

The collections from beloved mother-daughter writing duo Lisa Scottoline and Francesca Serritella are among the best reviewed humor books published today and have been compared to the late greats, Erma Bombeck and Nora Ephron. Here for the first time in a fabulous eBook bundle are two of their witty and warm collections. Have a Nice Guilt Trip This collection of warm and witty stories from Lisa and Francesca will strike a chord with every woman. With twenty-something Francesca navigating New York City, Lisa holding down the fort in the suburbs, and Mother Mary making frequent and always entertaining appearances, there are plenty of opportunities for family-induced guilt, fighting, laughter, and love. Does This Beach Make Me Look Fat? From identity theft to the hazards of bicycling to college reunions and eating on the beach, Lisa and Francesca tackle the quirks, absurdities, and wonders of everyday life with wit and warmth. So put aside your worries and join Lisa and Francesca as they navigate their way through the crazy world we live in, laughing along the way.

Like episodes of The Twilight Zone or The Outer Limits, the sixteen stories contained in Listen To The Signal, Short Stories Volume 1 ask questions like, "What would happen if an iPhone game was addictive - to everyone?" and "Are we all living inside a simulation? And if so, who's running it?" and "When a pilot has to emergency land in a remote town near Area 51 what does he find?"Hi, Rob Dircks here. I'm the Audible bestselling author of Where the Hell is Tesla?, and I've been writing and narrating these stories since 2016 on my podcast, Listen To The Signal. But now I've made them available ONLY here in this book. They include: Dakō - Today I Invented Time Travel - End Game - November 8, 2016 - Quick Fix - Horatio Breathed His Last - Purgatory - Out of the Blue - Tick Tick Tick - Rose - Red Parka - Bloop - Their DNA Was No Longer the Same - The Last One - Mister Personality - Christmas in Silver Peak. Back when I started this project, I was thinking what the heck, writing some short stories will keep me fresh, let me try things I might not try otherwise, act as a sort-of sketch book of my story ideas: the funny, the weird, the scary, the sappy, and sometimes all of that mashed up together. Well, two years later, I had no idea how proud I would be of this body of work, and how genuinely psyched I am to be sharing these stories with you in this format. I probably shouldn't pump up the hype too much, and let you decide on your own, but man, going through these again for production, I felt like a proud papa, gathering up all my little babies, or like I was collecting a bag of gems.Wow, I just wrote "bag of gems" in all seriousness, like it's a totally everyday phrase, like I might find myself out on horseback in some medieval European country and have the need to reach into my little leather sack for a gem to purchase an entire village.Anyway, it feels like a bag of gems to me, and I hope it does to you, too.P.S. Your enjoyment of these short stories doesn't end with this book! I'll continue to write more and publish them first free on the Listen To The Signal podcast, I try to do one a month (but you know how that goes). And if you'd like to be reminded when they come out, you can sign up for my very occasional and not-at-all spammy email newsletter at ListenToTheSignal.com or RobDircks.com. P.P.S. The introduction music and some of the individual story music snippets were composed and performed by Danny Greenlees, and used with his permission. You can find his music at zebfrinar.bandcamp.com.

Like many ambitious New York City teenagers, Craig Gilner sees entry into Manhattan's Executive Pre-Professional High School as the ticket to his future. Determined to succeed at life—which means getting into the right high school to get into the right college to get the right job—Craig studies night and day to ace the entrance exam, and does. That's when things start to get crazy. At his new school, Craig realizes that he isn't brilliant compared to the other kids; he's just average, and maybe not even that. He soon sees his once-perfect future crumbling away.