Trying To Remember Forced To Forget

Dear Reader; I have spent the past 52 years forgetting and remembering one small part of one day of my life that has affected me for my entire life. Memories are tucked away, asleep in your mind waiting for some outside stimuli to awaken them. But what happens to a memory when you have been told over and over it was just a bad dream, yet you really, really know it was not? What happens to your mind, what happens to your life? What happens when the memory does awake and surfaces for a brief time and then returns to sleep, waiting for the next stimuli? My story, my life, my thoughts, my insights are revealed in my book, my autobiography. The day was January 19, 1948; the time was very early morning. I was four years old. I got out of bed to go to the bathroom and discovered my father’s body hanging from a rope tied to a pipe over the toilet. He had committed suicide. I remember this very vividly, even though my mother tried to convince me for the rest of my life that I never saw what happened. My mother even went so far as to make imaginary visits to the hospital every week for five months, bringing me a present each time and telling me it was from my father. How could this have been, he was dead, I saw him hanging? My mother was protecting me, and protecting herself from a tragedy she only could deal with by denying its very existence. And, by doing so, denying me the opportunity to grieve and put the tragedy behind me. My young mind could not cope with this confusion, so my response was hostility towards my mother, hostility that must have been so intense, my mother’s only recourse was to have me institutionalized. Most of my past tragedy has been asleep, except for brief periods: when my daughters each turned four years old, and when I turned 43, the age my father ended his life. When my mother died, at age 88, the trauma once again awakened within me and this time I had this inner energy to discover all that I had either forgotten, repressed, did not know and/or did not understand. Please join me on my emotional journey to rediscover my past, including the agonizing return to where I was institutionalized, realizing and facing the fact that even after all these years, I am a survivor of suicide, and I have all the scars that go along with it. I have been driven to tell my story, a story I never shared with anybody until now. The telling all began with my daughters Elisa and Jenny, age 26 and 24, they never knew how their grandfather died. I had never told them for fear that they would consider suicide in a moment of despair. The only way I felt comfortable telling my story was through the written word. Well, the words just kept coming and coming and soon I had a book! I still don’t know where the energy came from, but it did (I like to think that my mother was guiding me). Looking for answers about suicide, I became involved with the American Association of Suicidology. They encouraged me to tell my story at their annual conference in Los Angeles. It was a very emotional experience, but I learned and so did the psychologists, psychiatrists and other survivors–it was an eye-opener few days! Most importantly this book is dedicated to my mother, whose love, courage and strength–even with her unnecessary denial and repression–had conquered all. I know my autobiography will be as rewarding a journey for you, as it finally has been for me. The American Association of Suicidology Publications Committee has placed my book on their recommended reading list. Judy Raphael Kletter

Dear Reader; I have spent the past 52 years forgetting and remembering one small part of one day of my life that has affected me for my entire life. Memories are tucked away, asleep in your mind waiting for some outside stimuli to awaken them. But what happens to a memory when you have been told over and over it was just a bad dream, yet you really, really know it was not? What happens to your mind, what happens to your life? What happens when the memory does awake and surfaces for a brief time and then returns to sleep, waiting for the next stimuli? My story, my life, my thoughts, my insights are revealed in my book, my autobiography. The day was January 19, 1948; the time was very early morning. I was four years old. I got out of bed to go to the bathroom and discovered my father's body hanging from a rope tied to a pipe over the toilet. He had committed suicide. I remember this very vividly, even though my mother tried to convince me for the rest of my life that I never saw what happened. My mother even went so far as to make imaginary visits to the hospital every week for five months, bringing me a present each time and telling me it was from my father. How could this have been, he was dead, I saw him hanging? My mother was protecting me, and protecting herself from a tragedy she only could deal with by denying its very existence. And, by doing so, denying me the opportunity to grieve and put the tragedy behind me. My young mind could not cope with this confusion, so my response was hostility towards my mother, hostility that must have been so intense, my mother's only recourse was to have me institutionalized. Most of my past tragedy has been asleep, except for brief periods: when my daughters each turned four years old, and when I turned 43, the age my father ended his life. When my mother died, at age 88, the trauma once again awakened within me and this time I had this inner energy to discover all that I had either forgotten, repressed, did not know and/or did not understand. Please join me on my emotional journey to rediscover my past, including the agonizing return to where I was institutionalized, realizing and facing the fact that even after all these years, I am a survivor of suicide, and I have all the scars that go along with it. I have been driven to tell my story, a story I never shared with anybody until now. The telling all began with my daughters Elisa and Jenny, age 26 and 24, they never knew how their grandfather died. I had never told them for fear that they would consider suicide in a moment of despair. The only way I felt comfortable telling my story was through the written word. Well, the words just kept coming and coming and soon I had a book! I still don't know where the energy came from, but it did (I like to think that my mother was guiding me). Looking for answers about suicide, I became involved with the American Association of Suicidology. They encouraged me to tell my story at their annual conference in Los Angeles. It was a very emotional experience, but I learned and so did the psychologists, psychiatrists and other survivors it was an eye-opener few days! Most importantly this book is dedicated to my mother, whose love, courage and strength even with her unnecessary denial and repression had conquered all. I know my autobiography will be as rewarding a journey for you, as it finally has been for me. The American Association of Suicidology Publications Committee has placed my book on their recommended reading list. Judy Raphael Kletter

Meet Ruth Goldschmiedova Sax. She is standing next to the dress that my grandmother wore during the time she was in Oederan. She never took it off, and every week she would bend over and the Nazis would paint an X and stripe down her backside. The dress was initially given to her in Auschwitz. Ruth Goldschmiedova Saxs life story begins in Moravia in 1928, where she lived comfortably as an only child with her parents. At the age of eleven, the Nazis invaded Czechoslovakia, and life changed for everyone. By 1941, the family found themselves getting off a transport train in Theresienstadt, where Ruth was forced to grow up quickly. She was shaved to prevent lice infestation, her feet were wrapped in paper to keep them warm in the winter, and she witnessed the deaths of many. Separated from her father, she survived awful circumstances, only to be sent to Auschwitz in 1944, where she faced Dr. Mengele half a dozen times. Finally, with G-ds help and liberation, she was reunited in 1945 with her mother and father, a miracle within itself. Ruth later immigrated to America, where she married Kurt Sax, whom she had met at age seven. This memoir narrates the dramatic life circumstances that led her from her birthplace in central Czechoslovakia to three concentration camps and finally to her home in America. Future plans are to find a museum for this dress so that it can be displayed accordingly for all to see and to remind us to never forget.

We live in a culture that prizes memory – how much we can store, the quality of what’s preserved, how we might better document and retain the moments of our life while fighting off the nightmare of losing all that we have experienced. But what if forgetfulness were seen not as something to fear, but rather as a blessing, a balm, a path to peace and forgiveness? A Primer for Forgetting is a remarkable experiment in scholarship, autobiography and social criticism. It forges a new vision of forgetfulness by assembling fragments of art and writing from the ancient world to the modern, weighing the potential boons forgetfulness might offer the present moment as a philosophical and political force. It also turns inward, using the author’s own life and memory as a canvas upon which to extol the virtues of a concept too long taken as an evil. Drawing material from Hesiod to Jorge Luis Borges to Elizabeth Bishop to Archbishop Desmond Tutu, from myths and legends to very real and recent traumas both personal and historical, A Primer for Forgetting is a unique and remarkable synthesis that only Lewis Hyde could have produced.

Considered one of Ben Bova’s most famous Grand Tour novels: “A gripping, realistic tale of man’s first expedition to the red planet. Don’t miss it” (Terry Brooks, New York Times–bestselling author of The Shannara Chronicles). Jamie Waterman is a young Navaho geologist who is picked for the ground team of the first manned expedition to Mars. He will be joining an international team of astronauts and scientists. But once the crew land on the red planet, they soon discover they must battle not only the alien land on which they have invaded but earthbound bureaucrats as well. When they come face to face with a chasm ten times as deep and large as the Grand Canyon, all twenty-five astronauts must face the most shocking discovery of all . . . “The science fiction author who will have the greatest effect on the world.” —Ray Bradbury, author of Farenheit 451 “A splendid book . . . Of his many books, Mars must be the most important.” —Arthur C. Clarke, author of Islands in the Sky

A breathtaking voyage to the frontiers of life! True stories from parents and others reveal an awe-inspiring phenomenon. Children-to-be reach out to their future parents in many ways, even giving help and guidance on the journey to birth. These illuminating stories of contact before birth-and before conception-cast a new light on everything from parenthood, soul agreements, and life planning, to the unsuspected role of grandparents in the soul world. Including accounts from people who actually remember their pre-birth existence, this book may change the way you look at yourself, your family, and life itself.

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER USA TODAY BESTSELLER NATIONAL INDIE BESTSELLER THE WASHINGTON POST BESTSELLER Recommended by Entertainment Weekly, Real Simple, NPR, Slate, and Oprah Magazine #1 Library Reads Pick—October 2020 #1 Indie Next Pick—October 2020 BOOK OF THE YEAR (2020) FINALIST—Book of The Month Club A “Best Of” Book From: Oprah Mag * CNN * Amazon * Amazon Editors * NPR * Goodreads * Bustle * PopSugar * BuzzFeed * Barnes & Noble * Kirkus Reviews * Lambda Literary * Nerdette * The Nerd Daily * Polygon * Library Reads * io9 * Smart Bitches Trashy Books * LiteraryHub * Medium * BookBub * The Mary Sue * Chicago Tribune * NY Daily News * SyFy Wire * Powells.com * Bookish * Book Riot * Library Reads Voter Favorite * In the vein of The Time Traveler’s Wife and Life After Life, The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue is New York Times bestselling author V. E. Schwab’s genre-defying tour de force. A Life No One Will Remember. A Story You Will Never Forget. France, 1714: in a moment of desperation, a young woman makes a Faustian bargain to live forever—and is cursed to be forgotten by everyone she meets. Thus begins the extraordinary life of Addie LaRue, and a dazzling adventure that will play out across centuries and continents, across history and art, as a young woman learns how far she will go to leave her mark on the world. But everything changes when, after nearly 300 years, Addie stumbles across a young man in a hidden bookstore and he remembers her name. Also by V. E. Schwab Shades of Magic A Darker Shade of Magic A Gathering of Shadows A Conjuring of Light Villains Vicious Vengeful At the Publisher's request, this title is being sold without Digital Rights Management Software (DRM) applied.