Two Nuns In A Bath

A brand-new, fantastic, enormous collection of 5,000 jokes, gags and one-liners - indexed and categorised to help with finding the right joke for any occasion or audience, from Bar-Mitzvahs to bar-rooms. Two Nuns in a Bath is the consummate collection, with jokes on every subject under the sun, from lawyers to low-energy light bulbs. Two nuns are sitting in a bath. One says "Where's the soap?"" The other replies "It does rather doesn't it?" A guy asks a lawyer what his fee is. "I charge $50 for three questions," the lawyer says. "That's awfully steep, isn't it?" the guy asks. "Yes," the lawyer replies, "Now what's your final question?"

A brand-new, fantastic, enormous collection of 5,000 jokes, gags and one-liners - indexed and categorised to help with finding the right joke for any occasion or audience, from Bar-Mitzvahs to bar-rooms. Two Nuns in a Bath is the consummate collection, with jokes on every subject under the sun, from lawyers to low-energy light bulbs. Two nuns are sitting in a bath. One says "Where's the soap?"" The other replies "It does rather doesn't it?" A guy asks a lawyer what his fee is. "I charge $50 for three questions," the lawyer says. "That's awfully steep, isn't it?" the guy asks. "Yes," the lawyer replies, "Now what's your final question?"

Everyone?s heard of Usain Bolt, but how many people know about Dineka Maguire? Like Bolt, the Irish woman is a world record holder but in the rather lesser known sport of bog snorkelling. She is just one of the hundreds of unsung heroes featured in this book chronicling the people who go to bizarre lengths to break world records in the weirdest categories; people who devote hours of intense training to spitting dung, eating cockroaches, sniffing feet or tossing tuna in the hope of one day being recognised as the best in the world. This astonishing compendium of the weirdest, wackiest and most disgusting world records will amuse and astound in equal measure. Entries include: Longest ear hair Fastest marathon while wearing a deep-sea diving suit Fastest bog snorkeller Farthest distance skateboarding by a goat Most bees on body Most milk crates balanced on head Fastest 5-km run while dressed as a penguin and juggling Heaviest airplane pulled with teeth Fastest shopping trolley Longest backwards motorcycle ride Most stairs climbed by bicycle Fastest 30 metres on a scooter by a dog First water-skiing squirrel

What is the difference between a dog and a fox? About 9 pints What do you call a man with a 2 inch penis? Justin What's pink and hard in the morning? The Financial Times crossword Did you hear about the consignment of Viagra pills stolen from a warehouse? Police are on the lookout for hardened criminals An aeroplane is about to crash, when a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, 'If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman.' She removes all her clothing and asks, 'Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?' A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, 'Here, iron this!' The greatest ever collection of dirty jokes guaranteed to offend and outrage the prudish. Full of hilarious gags, it's totally politically incorrect, unashamedly x-rated and downright filthy. Definitely one to keep well out of the way of the mother-in-law...

From the man behind the bestselling Mammoth Book of Jokes, an all-new, enormous collection of fantastic jokes - indexed and categorised to help find the right joke for the right occasion, from Bar-Mitzvahs to bar-rooms. Bigger, better, and even bulkier than before, The Mammoth Book of Jokes 2 is the consummate collection, with jokes on every subject under the sun, from lawyers to low-energy light bulbs.

Providing a unique insight into young people's sexual values for adults working with them, this book relays the voices of young people and their views about the morality of sexual relationships. In All You Need is Love young people consider the factors that make sex legitimate in their opinion, and their feelings about under-age sex, the age of consent, sexual pressures, teenage pregnancy, abortion, teenage magazines, pornography, homosexuality and raising a child.

Given away by her mother at five months old, raped on the day of her first communion at age seven - when Celine Roberts was told 'No one wants you', she believed it. Illegitimate and unwanted, Celine was forced by her foster mother into prostitution. Her bones were broken, her nose was crushed and she ate candle wax to stay alive. Celine was finally rescued and sent to an industrial school, where she picked up the pieces of her shattered life. She also began the search for her parents. But what she found gave her battered survival instincts the hardest knock of all ... Full of the most heartbreaking tragedy but ultimately survival and hope, No One Wants You is the remarkably honest and compelling memoir of a woman triumphing over her brutal past.