Uncle John S New Improved Funniest Ever

The popular bathroom reader series is back with this collection that’s flush with laughs. It’s new, it’s improved, it’s the funniest ever! Back by popular demand, this newly revised edition includes plenty of all-time favorites, along with more than twenty-five pages of new content. That’s page after page after page of laugh-out-loud dumb jokes, dumb jocks, toasts, pranks, kings, kittens, caboodles, and, of course, poorly translated kung fu movie subtitles such as “It took my seven digestive pills to dissolve your hairy crab!” So, whether you like your humor witty or witless, light or dark, silly or sublime, you’ll laugh until your head explodes. Chortle at: ·Dumb crooks: The robber who ran face-first into a wall because he forgot to poke eye holes in his pillowcase. ·Witty wordplay: If Snoop Dogg were to marry Winnie-the-Pooh, his name would become Snoop Dogg Pooh. ·Flubbed headlines: “British Left Waffles On House Floor” ·Quirky stars: Billy Idol’s concert rider demands he have one large tub of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter in his dressing room. ·Job lingo: If you hear an ER doc mention a “VIP,” be on the lookout for a “very intoxicated patient.” ·Sputtering sportscasters: “If only faces could talk.” —Pat Summerall And much, much more

The title says it all. This is the funniest Bathroom Reader EVER. It might even be the funniest book in the history of books, but Uncle John is much too modest to state that outright (even though it is). Over the past 25 years, the Bathroom Readers’ Institute has published more than 40,000 pages of bathroom reading. In this book you will find the funniest 288 of them (with a few all-new funny pages squeezed in just because we couldn’t help ourselves). That’s page after page after page of laugh-out-loud dumb jokes, dumb jocks, toasts, pranks, kings, kittens, caboodles, and, of course, poorly translated kung-fu movie subtitles--such as. “It took my seven digestive pills to dissolve your hairy crab!” So whether you like your humor witty or witless, light or dark, or silly or sublime, you’ll laugh until your head explodes. Chortle at… * Dumb crooks: The robber who ran face-first into a wall because he forgot to poke eye holes in his pillow case. * Witty wordplay: If Snoop Doggy Dogg were to marry Winnie the Pooh, his name would become Snoop Doggy Dogg Pooh. * Flubbed headlines: “British Left Waffles On House Floor” * Quirky stars: Billy Idol’s concert rider demands he have one large tub of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter in his dressing room. * Job Lingo: If you hear an E.R. doc mention a “VIP,” be on the lookout for a “Very Intoxicated Patient.” * Comedian quips: “I wonder if deaf people have a sign for ‘Talk to the hand.’” --Zach Galifianakis * Sputtering sportscasters: “If only faces could talk.” --Pat Summerall And much, much more!

The twenty-fourth edition in the bestselling bathroom-reading series is jam-packed with over 500 pages of absorbing trivia material. The information miners at the Bathroom Readers’ Institute have unearthed a priceless collection of surprising, amazing, head-scratching, and hilarious articles. Divided by length for your sitting convenience, 24-Karat Gold is chock-full of little-known history, random origins, weird news, celebrity secrets, and urban legends. As always, you’ll find plenty of dumb criminals, clever wordplay, quirky quotations, and much, much more. Just open to any page—who knows what treasures await you? · Judges gone wild · The Barbie scandals · Canada’s underpants king · Helen Keller: vaudeville star · The double A-bomb survivors · The history of the umbrella · America's forbidden island · What the Hokey Pokey is really all about And much, much more

Sit down and relax with Uncle John's Biggest Ever Bathroom Reader. This hardcover edition of the bathroom reading series will bowl you over. No more frantic searches at the last minute for that perfect magazine. No more agonizing choices between light reading and serious stuff. This biggest ever volume has combined two previous Bathroom Readers in their entirety, Uncle John's Great Big Bathroom Reader and Uncle John's Ultimate Bathroom Reader. It has more entertainment, humor, trivia, science, history, and pop culture than ever before. Among lots of other topics, you can read about: * Why the White House is White * Strange Medical Conditions * The History of the Bra * The Origin of the Miss America Pageant * Weird Tales of the Ouija Board * The Hair Museum * Why Thanksgiving is in November * Why Popcorn Pops * The Origin of Pop Tarts. Its all there in Uncle John's Biggest Ever Bathroom Reader!

Discover strange gadgets you never knew existed in this volume from the nation’s top collector of curious and interesting information! The writers behind Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader present this totally true treasury of amazing gizmos—devilish devices you never knew existed, created by people who thought the world absolutely needed what they had to offer and sell. Read all about: * The onesie that turns your crawling baby into a mop * The fart-stifling blanket * The square watermelon * The video game you control with your mind * The weight loss device that sucks food out of your stomach, and much much more!

It's here! The 23rd annual edition in the popular Uncle John's Bathroom Reader series. The big brains at the Bathroom Readers’ Institute have come up with 544 all-new pages full of incredible facts, hilarious articles, and a whole bunch of other ways to, er, pass the time. With topics ranging from history and science to pop culture, wordplay, and modern mythology, Heavy Duty is sure to amaze and entertain the loyal legions of throne sitters. Read about… * Sideshow secrets * The worst movie ever made * The hidden dangers of watching the Super Bowl * The father of the shopping mall * The physics of breakfast cereal * How to speak dog, and how to crack a safe * The unluckiest train ride of all time * The origins of casino games * Powering your car with pee * Keith Moon, bathroom bomber And much, much more!

It’s an actual fact—Uncle John is the most entertaining thing in the bathroom! Uncle John and his team of devoted researchers are back again with an all-new collection of weird news stories, odd historical events, dubious “scientific” theories, jaw-dropping lists, and more. This entertaining 31st anniversary edition contains 512 pages of all-new articles that will appeal to readers everywhere. Pop culture, history, dumb crooks, and other actual and factual tidbits are packed onto every page of this book. Inside, you’ll find . . . Dogs and cats who ran for political office The bizarre method people in Victorian England used to resuscitate drowning victims The man who met his future pet—a stray dog—while running across the Gobi Desert Searching for Planet X—the last unknown planet in our solar system Twantrums—strange Twitter rants that had disastrous effects The true story of Boaty McBoatface And much more!

The Great White North is revealed as the Great Weird North in this entertaining tome from the best-selling Bathroom Reader series. Did you know that Canada was almost called Hochelaga? That’s just one of thousands of wacky facts awaiting readers in Uncle John’s quirky celebration of Earth’s second largest country. You’ll find page after page of bizarre history (like why the beaver was once classified as a fish), plus head-scratching news items (like the crook who returned to the Tim Hortons he’d just robbed to tip the workers), odd places to go (like Mr. Spock’s birthplace in a town called Vulcan), and crazy eats (like the restaurant that makes you eat in complete darkness). So whether you live in Come By Chance, Joe Batt’s Arm, Starvation Cove, or anywhere else inside (or outside) of Canada, yukon count on Uncle John to deliver a world of weirdness from all over this great country. For example: - Cow-patty bingo in Alberta (Rule #1: Wear gloves) - How to enforce the new Quebec law that requires dogs to be bilingual - The sea of Molson Golden that once shut down an Ontario freeway - The mystery of the mini earthquakes in a New Brunswick town - Why it’s illegal to kill a sasquatch in British Columbia - The Nova Scotia company that makes mattresses for cows - Saskatchewan’s Willow Bunch Giant, a real man who could lift a horse over his head - The giant fiberglass “Happy Rock” statue in--where else?--Gladstone, Manitoba And much, much more!