Warning Do Not Read This Story

Monkeys, toucans, and alligators unleash mayhem.

Reader beware! This story has a warning in the title for a reason. Dare to ignore it, and you'll be sorry. You might find it sticks in your head in ways you won't like, making you do things you'll regret. One thing's for sure: it will change your life for the worse if you let it. Do yourself a favor and pass this one by; save your money for the latest harmless trifle that you won't lose any sleep over. If you're foolhardy enough to read this anyway, you'll have no one to blame but yourself for what happens to you. An unhappy ending is guaranteed...though rumor has it that a pair of would-be mystic problem solvers might have forced their way in and neutered this sick saga. Is it worth risking everything to read it and find out? Only if "suicidal" is your middle name! Because if you get inside, and the story isn't neutered after all, it'll be too late to save your sorry butt. So consider yourself warned! They call this a "dark fantasy," but it's way too real and much too dark for any "fantasy!" So be smart and DO NOT READ THIS STORY! Get out while you still can! And if you decide to read it anyway, good luck! You're making the biggest mistake of your life. Reviews "Robert Jeschonek is the literary love child of Tim Burton and Neil Gaiman." – Adrian Phoenix, critically acclaimed author of The Maker's Song series and Black Dust Mambo "Robert Jeschonek is a towering talent." – Mike Resnick, Hugo and Nebula Award-winning author "Jeschonek ́s stories are delightfully insane, a pleasure to read." – Fabio Fernandes, Fantasy Book Critic

Recipient of the Wanda Gag Read Aloud Book Award They told you, but you just couldn’t listen—so the creators of Warning: Do Not Open This Book! are back with a zany monkey crew, and they need your help! In Warning, Do Not Open This Book!, which School Library Journal called “more fun than a barrel of monkeys,” turning pages meant increased chaos and delight. Now the tables have turned, and opening the book is the only way to save the group of monkeys who are trapped between its pages. This irresistibly entertaining rescue effort puts power in the hands of the page-turner, and giggles into everyone! “These monkeys are a RIOT! And their books are funny, too!” —Ame Dyckman

From the USA Today–bestselling authors of Stand Your Ground comes the explosive story of a liberal college under siege—and freedom under fire. Former Army Ranger Jake Rivers is not your typical Kelton College student. He is not spoiled, coddled, or ultra-lib like his classmates who sneer at the “soldier boy.” But regardless of his differences with the rest of the student body, he needs an education. And when terror strikes, the school needs Jake. Without warning, the sounds of gunfire plunge the campus into a battle zone. A violent gang of marauders invade the main hall, taking students hostage for ransom. As a veteran and patriot, Jake won’t give in to their demands. But to fight back, he needs to enlist his fellow classmates and school them in the not-so-liberal art of war. This time, the aggression isn’t “micro.” It’s life or death. And only the strong survive.

In actuality, this book expresses all of the problems I’ve encountered in my life since I was a child. Hi, my name is Yousef Saleh Erakat aka Fousey. I am a YouTuber, Actor, Wannabe Motivational Speaker, Artist, and a Depressive with over 15 million total YouTube subscribers, a couple of Hollywood movies on my resume, some big awards on my shelf, and for the first time, I will be opening up about how I survived my struggles with depression, anxiety, fame, suicidal thoughts, and addiction. Welcome to my life.

Mole's best friend, the Lumpy-Bumpy Thing, has found a hat. On it there's a label that reads Warning! Do Not Touch! The Lumpy-Bumpy Thing picks up the hat and puts it on his head. But Mole is worried. "Quick! Take it off!" he cries. "It could be dangerous!" Suddenly, a bunny hops out of the hat, and then another, and another! Soon, there are too many bunnies to count! What can Mole and the Lumpy-Bumpy Thing do now?

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • A stunning “portrait of the enduring grace of friendship” (NPR) about the families we are born into, and those that we make for ourselves. A masterful depiction of love in the twenty-first century. NATIONAL BOOK AWARD FINALIST • MAN BOOKER PRIZE FINALIST • WINNER OF THE KIRKUS PRIZE A Little Life follows four college classmates—broke, adrift, and buoyed only by their friendship and ambition—as they move to New York in search of fame and fortune. While their relationships, which are tinged by addiction, success, and pride, deepen over the decades, the men are held together by their devotion to the brilliant, enigmatic Jude, a man scarred by an unspeakable childhood trauma. A hymn to brotherly bonds and a masterful depiction of love in the twenty-first century, Hanya Yanagihara’s stunning novel is about the families we are born into, and those that we make for ourselves. Look for Hanya Yanagihara’s latest bestselling novel, To Paradise.

Whose truth is the lie? Stay up all night reading the sensational psychological thriller that has readers obsessed, from the #1 New York Times bestselling author of Too Late and It Ends With Us. #1 New York Times Bestseller · USA Today Bestseller · Globe and Mail Bestseller · Publishers Weekly Bestseller Lowen Ashleigh is a struggling writer on the brink of financial ruin when she accepts the job offer of a lifetime. Jeremy Crawford, husband of bestselling author Verity Crawford, has hired Lowen to complete the remaining books in a successful series his injured wife is unable to finish. Lowen arrives at the Crawford home, ready to sort through years of Verity’s notes and outlines, hoping to find enough material to get her started. What Lowen doesn’t expect to uncover in the chaotic office is an unfinished autobiography Verity never intended for anyone to read. Page after page of bone-chilling admissions, including Verity's recollection of the night her family was forever altered. Lowen decides to keep the manuscript hidden from Jeremy, knowing its contents could devastate the already grieving father. But as Lowen’s feelings for Jeremy begin to intensify, she recognizes all the ways she could benefit if he were to read his wife’s words. After all, no matter how devoted Jeremy is to his injured wife, a truth this horrifying would make it impossible for him to continue loving her.