We Are Doomed

To his fellow conservatives, John Derbyshire makes a plea: Don't be seduced by this nonsense about "the politics of hope." Skepticism, pessimism, and suspicion of happy talk are the true characteristics of an authentically conservative temperament. And from Hobbes and Burke through Lord Salisbury and Calvin Coolidge, up to Pat Buchanan and Mark Steyn in our own time, these beliefs have kept the human race from blindly chasing its utopian dreams right off a cliff. Recently, though, various comforting yet fundamentally idiotic notions of political correctness and wishful thinking have taken root beyond the "Kumbaya"-singing, we're-all-one crowd. These ideas have now infected conservatives, the very people who really should know better. The Republican Party has been derailed by legions of fools and poseurs wearing smiley-face masks. Think rescuing the economy by condemning our descendents to lives of spirit-crushing debt. Think nation-building abroad while we slowly disintegrate at home. Think education and No Child Left Behind. . . . But don't think about it too much, because if you do, you'll quickly come to the logical conclusion: We are doomed. Need more convincing? Dwell on the cheerful promises of the diversity cult and the undeniable reality of the oncoming demographic disaster. Contemplate the feminization of everything, or take a good look at what passes for art these days. Witness the rise of culturism and the death of religion. Bow down before your new master, the federal apparatchik. Finally, ask yourself: How certain am I that the United States of America will survive, in any recognizable form, until, say, 2022? A scathing, mordantly funny romp through today's dismal and dismaler political and cultural scene, We Are Doomed provides a long-overdue dose of reality, revealing just how the GOP has been led astray in recent years–and showing that had conservatives held on to their fittingly pessimistic outlook, America's future would be far brighter. Ladies and gentlemen, it's time to embrace the Audacity of Hopelessness.

An American Orwell for the age of Trump, Roy Scranton faces the unpleasant facts of our day with fierce insight and honesty. We’re Doomed. Now What? penetrates to the very heart of our time. Our moment is one of alarming and bewildering change—the breakup of the post-1945 global order, a multispecies mass extinction, and the beginning of the end of civilization as we know it. Not one of us is innocent, not one of us is safe. Now what? We’re Doomed. Now What? addresses the crisis that is our time through a series of brilliant, moving, and original essays on climate change, war, literature, and loss, from one of the most provocative and iconoclastic minds of his generation. Whether writing about sailing through the melting Arctic, preparing for Houston’s next big storm, watching Star Wars, or going back to the streets of Baghdad he once patrolled as a soldier, Roy Scranton handles his subjects with the same electric, philosophical, demotic touch that he brought to his groundbreaking New York Times essay, “Learning How to Die in the Anthropocene.”

A stand-up comedian who was brought up as a Jehovah's Witness describes how her childhood was haunted by perpetual doomsday prophecies about an imminent apocalypse in which her non-believing neighbors and schoolmates were doomed.

Having somewhat reluctantly escaped from Hell, she now wanders the Purgatory that is Earth as a ghostly spirit, seeking her do-gooding celebrity parents, fighting the malign control of Satan, recounting the disgracefully funny (to us, anyway) encounter with her grandfather in a fetid highway rest stop in Upstate New York when she . . . oh, never mind, and climaxing in a rendezvous with destiny on the new, totally plastic continent in the Pacific called, not at all accidentally, Madlantis. Dante Alighieri, watch your back, Chuck Palahniuk is gaining on you.

We are Happy, We are Doomed collects fifteen stories of the strange and the terrifying and weaves them into a dark tapestry that magnifies and explores the collective madness of our world. In these pages you'll enter into cosmic blob-worshiping cults and "utopian" communities with dark secrets. You'll experience extra-dimensional coming-of-age rites and the disturbingly colorful end of the world. You'll stumble upon factories that manufacture living emptiness, comedy shows for the dying, and small towns where bizarre and menacing dogmas hold sway. And, all along the way, you'll hear the decaying heart of our civilization hammering out its violent pulse. We are Happy, We are Doomed presents its readers with stories for a world on the precipice of annihilation. They are a warning for change. They are an illumination of the insanities of our age. They are, perhaps, glimpses into our always already doomed future.

Seven castaways await their death on a deserted island that is home to hordes of blind gulls, iguanas, and a poisonous lagoon.

I was thinking; my mind was running at top speed, scanning and sorting my options. They ranged all the way from Dumb and Dangerous to Crazy, Evil, and utterly wrong from the start . . . stand back. We are on the brink. Yes. I have an idea.' When Hunter S. Thompson has an idea, you just have to listen – and he shares many of his unique ideas in this collection of journalism, social commentary, short fiction and autobiography. Divided into sections by decade, Songs of the Doomed begins with a furious condemnation of the US justice system and ends with the author’s own version of the events that led to his extraordinary court case. Stopping off at the infamous summit conference in Elko, Illinois; Saigon in 1975 (the war zone Thompson was fired while en route to); and Palm Beach in the eighties for the Pulitzer divorce, here – in true Gonzo fashion – is the long strange trip from Kennedy to Nixon to Quayle. ‘Mr Thompson’s best work of the past three decades’ New York Times Book Review ‘There are many hideously funny stories in this collection. Thompson writing on mescalin, staying on for the fall of Saigon, explaining what it must be like to be a multimillionaire in Palm Beach . . .’ Independent on Sunday ‘Dead funny . . . That our guru has made it this far merits drinks and dynamite all round at the Woody Creek Road and Gun Club (and spiritually affiliated North London branches). That he is still alive, and at large, defies medical and legal beliefs’ Andy Kershaw, Literary Review ‘Proves that you can’t keep the old bastard quiet . . . a superb offering’ City Limits

Award-winning humor writer Scott Erickson turns his attention to the most humorous issue of our time: Humanity's impending self-destruction! Perhaps you've wondered whether there's a single root cause of our impending social-economic-environmental collapse. Guess what? There is! The common cause is: Humanity is at war against life. To examine this bold claim, Erickson spends a bit of time exploring the phenomenon of life. If we're at war with it, shouldn't we know what it is we're at war with? Also, it would probably be a good idea to know what life is, in case if we ever got the crazy idea to live in harmony with it or something like that.