What Are We Really Fighting About

What Are We Really Fighting About? How to Transform Conflicts into Conversations gives couples permission to fight. Because, after all, everyone does. They fight about loaded issues like financial infidelity and different ways of spending money, sexual infidelity, working too much, traveling too much, fighting too much, not being involved in childcare, interfering in-laws, levels of intimacy, routine sex or boring sex, body image, guilt, secrets, vulnerability, hopes, and fears. And the elephant in the room: Why won’t he/she /they change? We’re so conditioned to think that all fights and arguments are bad, but that isn’t true. This book shows couples that fighting can be productive if they learn to fight in a way that isn’t hurtful and shift away from entrenched patterns that aren’t working. It’s okay to feel angry with a partner and have a heated argument if couples fight with respect, acceptance, and love—and then reconcile differences and disagreements. What Are We Really Fighting About? shows couples exactly how to change sides—to understand their partners’ pain, to acknowledge and appreciate their perspective, and ultimately to create an environment where vulnerability is welcome. Many examples of couples who have successfully mastered the art of productive arguments will enable readers to use these techniques in their own relationships. As a result, readers will learn how to fight better by articulating what they need and what is possible, and then find ways to make conflict productive and healthy. Developing the skills to turn conflicts into conversations will open the space for understanding.

Powerful tools for spreading peace in your community Unfounded beliefs and hateful political and social divisions that can cascade into violence are threatening to pull the world apart. Responding to fear and aggression strategically and with compassion is vital if we are to push back against the politics of hate and live in greater safety and harmony. But how to do it? Are We Done Fighting? is brimming with the latest research, practical activities, and inspirational stories of success for cultivating inner change and spreading peace at the community level and beyond. Coverage includes: An explanation of the different styles of conflict Cognitive biases that help explain polarized and lose-lose positions Practical methods and activities for changing our own and others' minds When punishment works and doesn't, and how to encourage discipline in children without using violence The skill of self-compassion and ways to reduce prejudice in ourselves and others Incredible programs that are rebuilding trust between people after genocide. Packed with inspiration and cutting-edge findings from fields including neuroscience, social psychology, and behavioural economics, Are We Done Fighting? is an essential toolkit for activists, community and peace groups, and students and instructors working to build dialogue, understanding, and peace as the antidote to the politics of hate and division. AWARDS SILVER | 2019 Nautilus Book Awards: Social Change & Social Justice

Born out of the excitement of a convergence of ideas and passions, this book provides a synthesis of the work of researchers, clinicians, and theoreticians who are leaders in the field of trauma, attachment, and psychotherapy. As we move into the third millennium, the field of mental health is in an exciting position to bring together diverse ideas from a range of disciplines that illuminate our understanding of human experience: neurobiology, developmental psychology, traumatology, and systems theory. The contributors emphasize the ways in which the social environment, including relationships of childhood, adulthood, and the treatment milieu change aspects of the structure of the brain and ultimately alter the mind.

From leading researchers, this book presents important advances in understanding how growing up in a discordant family affects child adjustment, the factors that make certain children more vulnerable than others, and what can be done to help. It is a state-of-the-science follow-up to the authors' seminal earlier work, Children and Marital Conflict: The Impact of Family Dispute and Resolution. The volume presents a new conceptual framework that draws on current knowledge about family processes; parenting; attachment; and children's emotional, physiological, cognitive, and behavioral development. Innovative research methods are explained and promising directions for clinical practice with children and families are discussed.

"In 2010, journalist Wen Stephenson woke up to the true scale and urgency of the catastrophe bearing down on humanity, starting with the poorest and most vulnerable everywhere, and confronted what he calls "the spiritual crisis at the heart of the climate crisis." Inspired by others who refused to retreat into various forms of denial and fatalism, he walked away from his career in mainstream media and became an activist, joining those working to build a transformative movement for climate justice in America."--Provided by publisher.

Women know how to work hard at marriage. Often their efforts end up sabotaging rather than building intimacy. Do you want to understand why? In this rewrite of her bestseller Finding the Hero in Your Husband, acclaimed Christian clinical psychologist and speaker Dr. Juli Slattery gently guides women through topics that are inherently woven into every imperfect marriage. Finding the Hero in Your Husband, Revisited, challenges misconceptions and outright misinformation that have misguided women for decades. In truth, women have power in marriage-but they don't often know how to use it. Illustrated with insightful real-life case examples, this book is both an educational resource as well as a practical "how-to" guide for navigating everyday trials as well as deeper difficulties. Juli offers understandable explanations of God's design, healthy expectations that re-frame experiences, and relatable applications that women of faith can practice to influence their marriage and deepen their relationship with God. Finding the Hero in Your Husband, Revisited, will help you more clearly see and encourage the hero within your husband by examining your own heart. Book jacket.

*Newbery Honor Book* *Boston Globe-Horn Book Honor* A nuanced and fierce middle grade novel about sisterhood and sexual abuse, by two-time Newbery Honor winner and #1 New York Times best seller Kimberly Brubaker Bradley, author of The War that Saved My Life "Fighting Words is raw, it is real, it is necessary, a must-read for children and their adults—a total triumph in all ways." —Holly Goldberg Sloan, New York Times bestselling author of Counting by 7s Ten-year-old Della has always had her older sister, Suki: When their mom went to prison, Della had Suki. When their mom's boyfriend took them in, Della had Suki. When that same boyfriend did something so awful they had to run fast, Della had Suki. Suki is Della's own wolf--her protector. But who has been protecting Suki? Della might get told off for swearing at school, but she has always known how to keep quiet where it counts. Then Suki tries to kill herself, and Della's world turns so far upside down, it feels like it's shaking her by the ankles. Maybe she's been quiet about the wrong things. Maybe it's time to be loud. In this powerful novel that explodes the stigma around child sexual abuse and leavens an intense tale with compassion and humor, Kimberly Brubaker Bradley tells a story about two sisters, linked by love and trauma, who must find their own voices before they can find their way back to each other. "Della’s matter-of-fact narration manages to be as funny and charming as it is devastatingly sad. . . . This is a novel about trauma [but] more than that, it’s a book about resilience, strength and healing. For every young reader who decides to wait . . . there will be others for whom this is the exact book they need right now." —New York Times Book Review "One of the most important books ever written for kids."—Colby Sharp of Nerdy Book Club "One for the history books."—Betsy Bird for A Fuse #8 Production/SLJ "Gripping. Life-changing...I am awe-struck."—Donna Gephart, author of Lily and Dunkin "Compassionate, truthful, and beautiful."—Elana K. Arnold, author of Damsel "I am blown away. [This] may be Kimberly Brubaker Bradley's best work yet."—Barbara Dee, author of Maybe He Just Likes You "A book that lets [kids] know they have never been alone. And never will be."—Kat Yeh, author of The Truth About Twinkie Pie "Meets the criteria of great children's literature that [will] resonate with adults too."—Bitch Media * "At once heartbreaking and hopeful."—Kirkus (starred review) * "Honest [and] empowering...An important book for readers of all ages."—SLJ (starred review) * "Sensitive[,] deft, and vivid."—BCCB (starred review) * "Prepare to read furiously."—Booklist (starred review) * "An essential, powerful mirror and window for any reader."—PW (starred review) * "Enlightening, empowering and--yes--uplifting."—BookPage (starred review) * "Unforgettable."—The Horn Book (starred review)