Why Does Love Hurt So Good

An exploration of why people all over the world love to engage in pain on purpose--from dominatrices, religious ascetics, and ultramarathoners to ballerinas, icy ocean bathers, and sideshow performers Masochism is sexy, human, reviled, worshipped, and can be delightfully bizarre. Deliberate and consensual pain has been with us for millennia, encompassing everyone from Black Plague flagellants to ballerinas dancing on broken bones to competitive eaters choking down hot peppers while they cry. Masochism is a part of us. It lives inside workaholics, tattoo enthusiasts, and all manner of garden variety pain-seekers. At its core, masochism is about feeling bad, then better--a phenomenon that is long overdue for a heartfelt and hilarious investigation. And Leigh Cowart would know: they are not just a researcher and science writer--they're an inveterate, high-sensation seeking masochist. And they have a few questions: Why do people engage in masochism? What are the benefits and the costs? And what does masochism have to say about the human experience? By participating in many of these activities themselves, and through conversations with psychologists, fellow scientists, and people who seek pain for pleasure, Cowart unveils how our minds and bodies find meaning and relief in pain--a quirk in our programming that drives discipline and innovation even as it threatens to swallow us whole.

Why Does Love Hurt So Good? It’s hard to explain why we stay with someone who isn’t treating or loving them the way they should. Staying, some would say is foolish, unhealthy and not normal, and they’re right, but for you to understand the why, you must experience loving someone first hand because until you do, you have no idea the power that love has over many of us. Within these stories, you will read and experience what people will do to have someone love them. Sex, lies, deception, betrayal, abuse, and infidelity were just a few of the traits used to obtain what they thought would make them happy in their relationship. As you read, you will, at some point, have to rethink what you thought you knew about love because, contrary to what many think and believe, not all love is good love that we receive from those we love. Readers are talking: Avis Parter, from Fayetteville, North Carolina, says, “It truly touched my soul, I saw myself in it. I loved it; I cried because it was so my life. I needed this book three years ago.” Deborah Antrum, St. Louis, Missouri, says, “I read your book, and I love it! I let my daughter read also. I am looking forward to what you have in the making; you have my FULL support.” Pastor Ricardo Manuel, from Savannah, Georgia, says, “The book is a great read. I recommend that you get a copy and read it for yourself!”

Real talk about the ups and downs of relationships and becoming a better you. Ever feel like when it comes to love, nothing is simple? Many times, before you can reach the end of that beautiful, multicolor, shimmering rainbow, you first have to endure the treacherous, stormy current. It's hard to envision a clear view with sunny skies and a smooth-flowing breeze in the midst of it all. This book is real talk about love, relationships, and becoming a better you. With personal poetic entries inserted throughout the book, Amber Shanel gives readers perspective and understanding of the flow of emotions expressed When It Hurts So Bad but It Feels So Good. There is revelation on topics that we all love to discuss, such as trust, real love, and when to let go. Women and men will be amazed at how they relate to some of the eye-opening topics described in this book. You will definitely ask yourself, "How did it come to this?" The reality is that no one is perfect, and sometimes in the game of love, relationships are truly tested. Ultimately, you will find that after the great journey of self-discovery through life's ups and downs, you live and you learn ...

Discover a Life Filled with Passion, Meaning, and Purpose New York Times bestselling author Debbie Ford leads us into the heart of the duality that unknowingly operates within each one of us. Providing the tools to end self-sabotage, Ford ultimately knocks down the façade of the false self and shows us how to heal the split between light and dark and live the authentic life within our reach.

“This book will challenge you to rethink your vision of a good life. With sharp insights and lucid prose, Paul Bloom makes a captivating case that pain and suffering are essential to happiness. It’s an exhilarating antidote to toxic positivity.” —Adam Grant, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Think Again and host of the TED podcast WorkLife One of Behavioral Scientist's "Notable Books of 2021" From the author of Against Empathy, a different kind of happiness book, one that shows us how suffering is an essential source of both pleasure and meaning in our lives Why do we so often seek out physical pain and emotional turmoil? We go to movies that make us cry, or scream, or gag. We poke at sores, eat spicy foods, immerse ourselves in hot baths, run marathons. Some of us even seek out pain and humiliation in sexual role-play. Where do these seemingly perverse appetites come from? Drawing on groundbreaking findings from psychology and brain science, The Sweet Spot shows how the right kind of suffering sets the stage for enhanced pleasure. Pain can distract us from our anxieties and help us transcend the self. Choosing to suffer can serve social goals; it can display how tough we are or, conversely, can function as a cry for help. Feelings of fear and sadness are part of the pleasure of immersing ourselves in play and fantasy and can provide certain moral satisfactions. And effort, struggle, and difficulty can, in the right contexts, lead to the joys of mastery and flow. But suffering plays a deeper role as well. We are not natural hedonists—a good life involves more than pleasure. People seek lives of meaning and significance; we aspire to rich relationships and satisfying pursuits, and this requires some amount of struggle, anxiety, and loss. Brilliantly argued, witty, and humane, Paul Bloom shows how a life without chosen suffering would be empty—and worse than that, boring.

A fresh cultural analysis of female monsters from Greek mythology, and an invitation for all women to reclaim these stories as inspiration for a more wild, more “monstrous” version of feminism The folklore that has shaped our dominant culture teems with frightening female creatures. In our language, in our stories (many written by men), we underline the idea that women who step out of bounds—who are angry or greedy or ambitious, who are overtly sexual or not sexy enough—aren’t just outside the norm. They’re unnatural. Monstrous. But maybe, the traits we’ve been told make us dangerous and undesirable are actually our greatest strengths. Through fresh analysis of 11 female monsters, including Medusa, the Harpies, the Furies, and the Sphinx, Jess Zimmerman takes us on an illuminating feminist journey through mythology. She guides women (and others) to reexamine their relationships with traits like hunger, anger, ugliness, and ambition, teaching readers to embrace a new image of the female hero: one that looks a lot like a monster, with the agency and power to match. Often, women try to avoid the feeling of monstrousness, of being grotesquely alien, by tamping down those qualities that we’re told fall outside the bounds of natural femininity. But monsters also get to do what other female characters—damsels, love interests, and even most heroines—do not. Monsters get to be complete, unrestrained, and larger than life. Today, women are becoming increasingly aware of the ways rules and socially constructed expectations have diminished us. After seeing where compliance gets us—harassed, shut out, and ruled by predators—women have never been more ready to become repellent, fearsome, and ravenous.

What Can You Do When You Feel You're Just Not Good Enough? Do the voices in your head say you're not good enough, smart enough, pretty enough...or just not enough, period? It's time to stop listening to lies that sabotage your confidence and embrace the truth of who God says you are. Popular author and speaker Sharon Jaynes exposes the lies that keep you bogged down in shame, insecurity, and feelings of inadequacy. By recognizing the lies and replacing them with truth, you'll be able to silence the voice inside that whispers you're just not good enough accept God's grace and move past failures that have defined and confined you preload your heart with truth to fight your deepest insecurities Your confidence and faith will grow when you trade self-defeating thoughts for God's truth. Today is the day to embrace your incredible worth as a woman who is uniquely fashioned and spiritually empowered.