Why Don T We Listen Better

With a light touch and sensible techniques, Dr. Jim Petersen distills years of counseling and pastoral ministry into an informal volume loaded with practical tips, examples and techniques to practice. His book highlights our culture’s courtroom-like communication that often puts people at odds with each other. Most people think they listen well but don’t and folks walk away unheard, misunderstood and disconnected. Readers will chuckle in recognition at the tongue-in-cheek but spot-on “flat-brain” theory of emotions. It shows how and why we get upset and confused in tense situations and what to do about it. It lays the practical groundwork to better manage emotionally loaded situations. This book shows communication that works and is equally appropriate for professionals, such as pastors and therapists and for the general public. The ingenious Talker-Listener Card gives a taking-turn method to end arguing as we know it. It works for couples, business relationships, church listening programs, counselors, group discussions and the family dinner table listening game. Thirty listening techniques will help the reader immediately begin to turn enemies into friends, poor relationships into decent ones and good relationships into better ones. These accessible skills are being used in pastoral counseling classes, counseling offices, church staffs, professional offices, on dates, in corporate board rooms and at kitchen tables around the country .

When was the last time you listened to someone, or someone really listened to you? "If you’re like most people, you don’t listen as often or as well as you’d like. There’s no one better qualified than a talented journalist to introduce you to the right mindset and skillset—and this book does it with science and humor." -Adam Grant, #1 New York Times bestselling author of Originals and Give and Take **Hand picked by Malcolm Gladwell, Adam Grant, Susan Cain, and Daniel Pink for Next Big Ideas Club** "An essential book for our times." -Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone At work, we’re taught to lead the conversation. On social media, we shape our personal narratives. At parties, we talk over one another. So do our politicians. We’re not listening. And no one is listening to us. Despite living in a world where technology allows constant digital communication and opportunities to connect, it seems no one is really listening or even knows how. And it’s making us lonelier, more isolated, and less tolerant than ever before. A listener by trade, New York Times contributor Kate Murphy wanted to know how we got here. In this always illuminating and often humorous deep dive, Murphy explains why we’re not listening, what it’s doing to us, and how we can reverse the trend. She makes accessible the psychology, neuroscience, and sociology of listening while also introducing us to some of the best listeners out there (including a CIA agent, focus group moderator, bartender, radio producer, and top furniture salesman). Equal parts cultural observation, scientific exploration, and rousing call to action that's full of practical advice, You're Not Listening is to listening what Susan Cain's Quiet was to introversion. It’s time to stop talking and start listening.

“Full of revealing, instantly applicable ideas for leveraging your strengths and overcoming your weaknesses.” —Adam Grant, author of Think Again and Originals, and host of the TED podcast WorkLife For many of us, listening is simply something we do on autopilot. We hear just enough of what others say to get our work done, maintain friendships, and be polite with our neighbors. But we miss crucial opportunities to go deeper—to give and receive honest feedback, to make connections that will endure for the long haul, and to discover who people truly are at their core. Fortunately, listening can be improved—and Ximena Vengoechea can show you how. In Listen Like You Mean It, she offers an essential listening guide for our times, revealing tried-and-true strategies honed in her own research sessions and drawn from interviews with marriage counselors, podcast hosts, life coaches, journalists, filmmakers, and other listening experts. Through Vengoechea’s set of scripts, key questions, exercises, and illustrations, you’ll learn to: • Quickly build rapport with strangers • Ask the right questions to deepen a conversation • Pause at the right time to encourage vulnerability • Navigate a conversation that’s gone off the rails Now more than ever, we need to feel heard, connected, and understood in a world that keeps turning up the volume. Warm, funny, and immensely practical, this book shows you how.

First published in 1994, Hugh Mackay's Why Don't People Listen? sold 40,000 copies and became a classic on the art of successful communication. This ebook-only edition has been fully revised and updated to include a summary of the benefits and pitfalls of multi-media communication. Hugh Mackay shows us a simple yet revolutionary way to improve the quality of our relationships with our spouses, children, friends, colleagues and clients. He identifies the ten most basic laws of human communication, such as: It's not what our message does to the listener, but what the listener does with our message that determines our success as communicators. Accessible and instructive, Why Don't People Listen? is a complete guide to changing minds, improving connections and resolving conflict.

Over 55% of your day is spent listening; yet only 2% of us have been trained in how to listen. What is poor listening costing you? Do you rush from meeting to meeting, your head buried in the last conversation you had, without time to think of the next? Or feel frustrated with unproductive discussions where the loudest in the room adds limited insight and drowns out everyone else? We usually think of these situations as communication problems; that we have not spoken our needs correctly or clearly. Yet, conflict, chaos and confusion are the costs of not listening. Many communication and listening books say the most important person in a conversation is the speaker - not true! This pocket-sized guide will help you to reconnect with your innate gift of deep listening, to create the right space to listen to yourself before you listen to others. You'll learn to listen beyond the words that are spoken, to add context and meaning and listen in to what's not being said. Deep Listening will help you move from confusion and conflict to thoughtful, insightful and powerful discussions that will transform not just your work, but your whole life.

Getting through to someone is a critical, fine art. Whether you are dealing with a harried colleague, a stressed-out client, or an insecure spouse, things will go from bad to worse if you can't break through emotional barricades and get your message thoroughly communicated and registered. Drawing on his experience as a psychiatrist, business consultant, and coach, author Mark Goulston combines his background with the latest scientific research to help you turn the “impossible” and “unreachable” people in their lives into allies, devoted customers, loyal colleagues, and lifetime friends. In Just Listen, Goulston provides simple yet powerful techniques you can use to really get through to people including how to: make a powerful and positive first impression; listen effectively; make even a total stranger (potential client) feel understood; talk an angry or aggressive person away from an instinctual, unproductive reaction and toward a more rational mindset; and achieve buy-in--the linchpin of all persuasion, negotiation, and sales. Whether they're coworkers, friends, strangers, or enemies, the first make-or-break step in persuading anyone to do anything is getting them to hear you out. The invaluable principles in Just Listen will get you through that first tough step with anyone. With this groundbreaking book, you will be able to master the fine but critical art of effective communication.

In a busy world of noise, how do you get your message across? Everyone knows how vital good communication is in any business. But what’s the point if no-one’s listening to you? How to Speak so People Listen shows you how to make sure that what you’re saying is being listened to and making a difference. Using proven techniques from the world’s most successful communicators, debaters and conversationalists, you’ll discover how to: • Always be heard by speaking in a compelling, persuasive and powerful way • Seize attention, make an impact and leave a memorable first impression • Think fast and quickly adapt your message to suit your audience • Stand out at meetings, conferences, networking events and chance encounters • Be confident at public speaking – someone people really want to listen to Effective tools, strategies, tips and tricks will make sure you’re able to command attention and know that, whenever you speak, people will want to hear what you have to say.