12 Hidden Rewards Of Making Amends

Did you know there are hidden rewards to making amends? Without a willingness to experience our painful feelings, we can never grow and mature into the person we'd like to be. We can never reach our potential. We can never become our true-self. To grow, we must stay in close contact with our experience, whatever it is. We need to stay in close contact with how we behaved in our relationships in order to make a thorough list of those we have harmed. We must face the wrongs we have done without running away from the truth. If we were rigorously honest with ourselves while making the list of people we had harmed, we probably felt one or more of the following feelings: anxiety, shame, discomfort, or guilt. This is exactly what we were suppose to feel. We were learning that we don't have to feel comfortable to be OK. In fact, another hidden reward is that the more willing we are to feel uncomfortable the more comfortable we become. Yes, another paradox! One of the many hidden rewards in working Steps 8,9, and 10 is to stay in close contact with our experience so we can learn from it. This self-understanding is at the heart of self-forgiveness and emotional recovery. --Excerpted from 12 Hidden Rewards of Making Amends

Popular recovery author Allen Berger, PhD, guides us in working three of the most challenging of the Twelve Steps to reap the abundant rewards of making amends. Letting go of resentment and forgiving ourselves for our past wrongs are critical to recovery from alcohol and other drugs. Yet, Steps Eight, Nine, and Ten, which focus on making amends, can be some of the most challenging to work, because we must face ourselves and those who we have hurt or damaged.In 12 Hidden Rewards of Making Amends, Allen Berger, PhD, uses the same supportive, down-to-earth style as in his popular book 12 Stupid Things That Mess Up Recovery. His creative tools and tips will help us let go of anger, heal strained relationships, and make financial and emotional restitution. Through this transformative process we can:recover and maintain integrityresolve or complete unfinished businessrestore trust, self-esteem, and self-confidencedeepen our spirituality and peace of mindreinforce a strong commitment to recoveryBy being accountable for our words and actions and moving forward with a compassionate and constructive approach to the world, we decrease our chance of relapse and learn to maintain a healthy, balanced life.

In addition to staying connected to our support systems and avoiding opportunities to use during the coronavirus pandemic, we can also keep confronting and conquering the self-destructive things we think and do that undercut our health and sanity. Concise advice on hunting down the personal culprits that sabotage sobriety and personal happiness. To grow in recovery, we must grow up emotionally. This means getting honest with ourselves and facing up to the self-defeating thoughts and actions that put our sobriety at risk. Although there are as many ways to mess up recovery as there are alcoholics and addicts, some general themes exist, which include: confusing self-concern with selfishness; not making amends; using the program to try to become perfect; not getting help for relationship troubles; and believing that life should be easy. In simple, down-to-earth language, Allen Berger explores the twelve most commonly confronted beliefs and attitudes that can sabotage recovery. He then provides tools for working through these problems in daily life. This useful guide offers fresh perspectives on how the process of change begins with basic self-awareness and a commitment to working a daily program.

Being of service is essential to staying sober and can add a new level of perspective and gratitude to your life. Learn about the power of Step 12 and how to weave service into your day-to-day. “Nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics. It works when other activities fail. This is our twelfth suggestion: Carry this message to other alcoholics! You can help when no one else can. You can secure their confidence when others fail.”—Alcoholics AnonymousThe culmination of all of the steps, Step 12 calls on each of us to complete our transformation from a self-centered existence fueled by addiction to one of joy and freedom through service to others. In Walk the Talk with Step 12 Gary K. explores the the history of Step 12 and redefines what it means to practice this critical step in modern times. Through inspiring testimonials, including the author’s own dramatic story as a survivor of 9/11, we learn how a life of service extends far beyond helping other alcoholics and addicts, and reveals the power of such practices as honesty, tolerance, and love in stabilizing and supporting long term recovery.With passion and insight, Gary K. incites each of us—sponsors and sponsees, newcomers and old timers alike—to define our own paths of service and experience the rewards of community and connection.

"With his popular book, 12 Stupid Things That Mess Up Recovery, Allen Berger has shown many people how to confront self-defeating thoughts and behaviors. With this sequel, you'll gain the tools to work through twelve more hazards on the path to long-term recovery--and you'll meet others who've used these tools, too. Whether you're facing relapse, learning to overcome complacency, or working to take responsibility for your feelings and actions, this book will guide you along 'the road of happy destiny'"--Page 4 of cover.

Drop the Rock—The Ripple Effect provides multiple perspectives from people successfully working a Twelve Step Program, showing Step 10 as a key to a sober life free of fear and resentment and filled with serenity and gratitude. When Drop the Rock: Removing Character Defects was first published in 1999, it quickly became the standard resource for working Steps 6 and 7, two of the most challenging of the Twelve Steps for many people in recovery. Learning what it means to fully surrender character defects frees you to make amends with Steps 8 and 9, realize the Big Book’s “Promises,” and move on to Step 10.In this new follow-up resource, Fred H. explores what he calls “the ripple effect” that can be created by using Step 10 to practice Steps 6 and 7 every day and avoid picking up “the rock” again. Drawing on his years of lecturing on the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, he reveals Step 10 as the natural culmination of working the previous Steps. providing a crash course on renewing your recovery program through the daily practice of Twelve Step principles.Like its predecessor, Drop the Rock—The Ripple Effect provides multiple perspectives from people successfully working a Twelve Step Program, showing Step 10 as a key to a sober life free of fear and resentment and filled with serenity and gratitude.Fred H. has worked in the field of addiction and recovery for over three decades and is the director of the retreat center for a leading addiction treatment program. He is a popular international speaker on the Big Book and the principles of the Twelve Steps.

A REVOLUTIONARY NEW APPROACH TO ADDICTION RECOVERY FROM AN ADDICTION EXPERT Rewired is a new, breakthrough approach to fighting addiction and self-damaging behavior by acknowledging our personal power to bring ourselves back from the brink. Centered on the concept of self-actualization, Rewired will guide you towards not only physical sobriety, but a mental, emotional, and spiritual sobriety by learning to identify key principles within yourself, including authenticity, honesty, gratitude, and understanding a need for solitude. Rewired addresses the whole self; just as addiction affects every part of one’s life, so too must its treatment. By helping us to build a healthy space to support our own recovery, we can rewrite the negative behaviors that result in addiction. Usable in conjunction with or in place of 12-step programs, Rewired allows for a more holistic approach, helping to create a personalized treatment plan that is right for you. Each section in Rewired includes: - Personal anecdotes from the author’s own struggles with alcoholism and addiction - Inspiring true success stories of patients overcoming their addictions - Questions to engage you into finding what is missing from your recovery - Positive affirmations and intentions to guide and motivate With all the variables, both physical and emotional, that play into overcoming addiction, Rewired enables us to stay strong and positive as we progress on the path to recovery. Rewired teaches patience and compassion, the two cornerstones of a new, humanist approach to curing addiction. Remember, addicts are not broken people that need to be fixed—they just have a few crossed wires.

The first trauma-informed book focused solely on helping men in addiction recovery create and sustain healthy relationships.