A Distant Grief

(A DISTANT GRIEF... . . . is about the persecuted Christians in Uganda and is a compelling witness to the Western Church. It confirms the truth that in suffering is the glory, richness and power of Jesus Christ known fully. The force of the underworld is expressed as the book recounts the diabolical mind and actions of Idi Amin. But Christ is sufficient and wipes the tears from the eyes of His martyred saints and the burgeoning Body of believers in East Africa.

Sixty thousand Australians died during the First World War. This book is the first major study to examine the roles of war graves and cemeteries in private grief and mourning, through archival research of the Commonwealth War Graves Commission, the organization responsible for commemorating the million soldiers of the British Empire who died in the war. A Distant Grief reorients and enriches international discussion of reactions to death and commemoration during, and after, the First World War. The author, Bart Ziino, has written on war memorials, Gallipoli, and the Australian memory of war. The thesis on which this book is based won the 2005 Australian Historical Association's Serle Award for the best thesis in Australian History.

Tracing the Rainbow looks at bereavement through the eyes of a psychiatrist - and through the eyes of those who have mourned themselves. A mixture of information, interviews and practical advice, it seeks to answer the questions: What is grieving? How does it affect people physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually? How can those who mourn help themselves? How can those around them help them? What is normal grief? When does grief become abnormal and in what way? How do childhood experiences influence our ability to grieve, and what can we do about it? Pablo Martinez and Ali Hull concentrate on the two greatest losses that face us: death and divorce, and seek, through a mixture of intensely personal stories and gentle psychiatric insight, to provide tools for getting through the hardest times in life.

"She was dirty and dusty. Her curly hair had seen neither a comb nor water for months. In one hand she carried a package of cigarettes and in the other a solvent rag." Young Namusisi had no home, no family, no money for school fees, and no one to love her or care for her. She survived in the culture of the buyaye on the streets, parking lots, and porches of the city of Kampala, Uganda. But one day she met Daddy Kefa and her life was changed. He took her to his children's home where she was provided for and was shown the love of Christ. Namusisi was just one of more than six thousand Ugandan street children who were rescued from a meaningless and hopeless life by the efforts of a compassionate, selfless, and godly man. From the Dust contains the poignant stories of many of those destitute children--stories of how they came to live on the streets and of how their lives were changed. Here are stories of a people ravaged by a demonic dictator, a people who had lost all sense of humanity and were struggling under emotional, physical, and spiritual poverty. From the Dust tells how the efforts of one man made a difference to so many who were groping in a dark world of sin and hopelessness. It is the story of the love of God to the lost and dying, and of how that love made a difference to so many Africans and can still make a difference to those who will trust in him. "He raiseth up the poor out of the dust, and lifteth up the beggar from the dunghill, to set them among princes, and to make them inherit the throne of glory" (1 Sam 2:8).

From the internationally acclaimed, bestselling author of We Should All Be Feminists and Americanah, a profound reckoning with loss, written in the wake of her father’s death. During the brutal summer of 2020, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie’s beloved father, a celebrated professor at the University of Nigeria and an irreplaceable figure in a close-knit family, succumbed unexpectedly to complications of kidney failure. Notes on Grief is Adichie’s tribute to him, and a moving meditation on loss. Here Adichie offers a candid snapshot of the shock, loneliness, and disillusionment that followed the news of her father’s death. Her family, unable to be together except for on video calls, struggles to go through the rites of mourning amid a global crisis of unimaginable scale. As Adichie wrestles with his passing, she recalls with vivid, poignant detail who her father was: a remarkable survivor of the Biafran war, a man of kindness and charm, and a fierce supporter of his youngest daughter. Here is a uniquely personal, profound work of remembrance and hope by one of today’s luminaries—a book to bring us together in a time when we need it most.

Let's face it, all of us children of absent parents have thought about it at some point - how will I feel when they're actually dead? Will I be bothered? Will it screw me up even further? Will I even be told? Will I go to the funeral? I'd thought about it many, many times in the 28 years my dad had been absent from my life and I'd come to the conclusion I was totally over it already and wouldn't actually give a shit. But, after the initial phone call came to tell me he was dead, I cried. I cried real, heavy, sobbing tears. Painful ones. I wasn't ready for this pain. This was a lot of buried pain hitting some fresh new pain and it was combining to make a big old painful mess. This was my first indication that my emotions were just not going to do what I thought they would, and I was in for a bumpy ride. This book is my story of my grief, combined with wisdom I've learned though being a bereavement counsellor. My intention is that you don't feel alone with your grief, that you'll give yourself permission to feel however you feel, you won't question your sanity, and that you'll also be able to release your grief.

When a loved one dies we mourn our loss. We take comfort in the rituals that mark the passing, and we turn to those around us for support. But what happens when there is no closure, when a family member or a friend who may be still alive is lost to us nonetheless? How, for example, does the mother whose soldier son is missing in action, or the family of an Alzheimer's patient who is suffering from severe dementia, deal with the uncertainty surrounding this kind of loss? In this sensitive and lucid account, Pauline Boss explains that, all too often, those confronted with such ambiguous loss fluctuate between hope and hopelessness. Suffered too long, these emotions can deaden feeling and make it impossible for people to move on with their lives. Yet the central message of this book is that they can move on. Drawing on her research and clinical experience, Boss suggests strategies that can cushion the pain and help families come to terms with their grief. Her work features the heartening narratives of those who cope with ambiguous loss and manage to leave their sadness behind, including those who have lost family members to divorce, immigration, adoption, chronic mental illness, and brain injury. With its message of hope, this eloquent book offers guidance and understanding to those struggling to regain their lives. Table of Contents: 1. Frozen Grief 2. Leaving without Goodbye 3. Goodbye without Leaving 4. Mixed Emotions 5. Ups and Downs 6. The Family Gamble 7. The Turning Point 8. Making Sense out of Ambiguity 9. The Benefit of a Doubt Notes Acknowledgments Reviews of this book: You will find yourself thinking about the issues discussed in this book long after you put it down and perhaps wishing you had extra copies for friends and family members who might benefit from knowing that their sorrows are not unique...This book's value lies in its giving a name to a force many of us will confront--sadly, more than once--and providing personal stories based on 20 years of interviews and research. --Pamela Gerhardt, Washington Post Reviews of this book: A compassionate exploration of the effects of ambiguous loss and how those experiencing it handle this most devastating of losses ... Boss's approach is to encourage families to talk together, to reach a consensus about how to mourn that which has been lost and how to celebrate that which remains. Her simple stories of families doing just that contain lessons for all. Insightful, practical, and refreshingly free of psychobabble. --Kirkus Review Reviews of this book: Engagingly written and richly rewarding, this title presents what Boss has learned from many years of treating individuals and families suffering from uncertain or incomplete loss...The obvious depth of the author's understanding of sufferers of ambiguous loss and the facility with which she communicates that understanding make this a book to be recommended. --R. R. Cornellius, Choice Reviews of this book: Written for a wide readership, the concepts of ambiguous loss take immediate form through the many provocative examples and stories Boss includes, All readers will find stories with which they will relate...Sensitive, grounded and practical, this book should, in my estimation, be required reading for family practitioners. --Ted Bowman, Family Forum Reviews of this book: Dr. Boss describes [the] all-too-common phenomenon [of unresolved grief] as resulting from either of two circumstances: when the lost person is still physically present but emotionally absent or when the lost person is physically absent but still emotionally present. In addition to senility, physical presence but psychological absence may result, for example, when a person is suffering from a serious mental disorder like schizophrenia or depression or debilitating neurological damage from an accident or severe stroke, when a person abuses drugs or alcohol, when a child is autistic or when a spouse is a workaholic who is not really 'there' even when he or she is at home...Cases of physical absence with continuing psychological presence typically occur when a soldier is missing in action, when a child disappears and is not found, when a former lover or spouse is still very much missed, when a child 'loses' a parent to divorce or when people are separated from their loved ones by immigration...Professionals familiar with Dr. Boss's work emphasised that people suffering from ambiguous loss were not mentally ill, but were just stuck and needed help getting past the barrier or unresolved grief so that they could get on with their lives. --Asian Age Combining her talents as a compassionate family therapist and a creative researcher, Pauline Boss eloquently shows the many and complex ways that people can cope with the inevitable losses in contemporary family life. A wise book, and certain to become a classic. --Constance R. Ahrons, author of The Good Divorce A powerful and healing book. Families experiencing ambiguous loss will find strategies for seeing what aspects of their loved ones remain, and for understanding and grieving what they have lost. Pauline Boss offers us both insight and clarity. --Kathy Weingarten, Ph.D, The Family Institute of Cambridge, Harvard Medical School