A Living Loss Surviving Separation From A Loved One

A LIVING LOSS: Surviving Separation From a Loved One focuses on living losswhen a person becomes estranged from a loved one who still lives - a friend, a partner or a family member. This book focuses on a forced estrangement, wherein one family member (the enforcer) refuses to see another family member (the enforced). There is not necessarily any explanation, which can lead to grief, depression, and eventual decline in health. When a family member is lost to death, the grieving process is shattering. Lives are changed; hearts are broken. Yet, even in the depths of despair, there is hope. There is help, tootherapists, support groups, and other family members. A living loss is soul wounding. Support is often not available for those experiencing this loss. They grieve alone. Resolution is extremely difficult. Even in estrangement, there is hope. Author Barbara Rombough is ready to help you heal. She uses cognitive therapy strategies, relaxation techniques, and so much more to help mend the brokenhearted. It is possible to emerge a different person, renewed with strength, inner peace, and acceptance, whether or not the broken family bonds are ever healed.

A LIVING LOSS: Surviving Separation From a Loved One focuses on living loss when a person becomes estranged from a loved one who still lives - a friend, a partner or a family member. This book focuses on a forced estrangement, wherein one family member (the enforcer) refuses to see another family member (the enforced). There is not necessarily any explanation, which can lead to grief, depression, and eventual decline in health. When a family member is lost to death, the grieving process is shattering. Lives are changed; hearts are broken. Yet, even in the depths of despair, there is hope. There is help, too therapists, support groups, and other family members. A living loss is soul wounding. Support is often not available for those experiencing this loss. They grieve alone. Resolution is extremely difficult. Even in estrangement, there is hope. Author Barbara Rombough is ready to help you heal. She uses cognitive therapy strategies, relaxation techniques, and so much more to help mend the brokenhearted. It is possible to emerge a different person, renewed with strength, inner peace, and acceptance, whether or not the broken family bonds are ever healed.

When a loved one dies we mourn our loss. We take comfort in the rituals that mark the passing, and we turn to those around us for support. But what happens when there is no closure, when a family member or a friend who may be still alive is lost to us nonetheless? How, for example, does the mother whose soldier son is missing in action, or the family of an Alzheimer's patient who is suffering from severe dementia, deal with the uncertainty surrounding this kind of loss? In this sensitive and lucid account, Pauline Boss explains that, all too often, those confronted with such ambiguous loss fluctuate between hope and hopelessness. Suffered too long, these emotions can deaden feeling and make it impossible for people to move on with their lives. Yet the central message of this book is that they can move on. Drawing on her research and clinical experience, Boss suggests strategies that can cushion the pain and help families come to terms with their grief. Her work features the heartening narratives of those who cope with ambiguous loss and manage to leave their sadness behind, including those who have lost family members to divorce, immigration, adoption, chronic mental illness, and brain injury. With its message of hope, this eloquent book offers guidance and understanding to those struggling to regain their lives. Table of Contents: 1. Frozen Grief 2. Leaving without Goodbye 3. Goodbye without Leaving 4. Mixed Emotions 5. Ups and Downs 6. The Family Gamble 7. The Turning Point 8. Making Sense out of Ambiguity 9. The Benefit of a Doubt Notes Acknowledgments Reviews of this book: You will find yourself thinking about the issues discussed in this book long after you put it down and perhaps wishing you had extra copies for friends and family members who might benefit from knowing that their sorrows are not unique...This book's value lies in its giving a name to a force many of us will confront--sadly, more than once--and providing personal stories based on 20 years of interviews and research. --Pamela Gerhardt, Washington Post Reviews of this book: A compassionate exploration of the effects of ambiguous loss and how those experiencing it handle this most devastating of losses ... Boss's approach is to encourage families to talk together, to reach a consensus about how to mourn that which has been lost and how to celebrate that which remains. Her simple stories of families doing just that contain lessons for all. Insightful, practical, and refreshingly free of psychobabble. --Kirkus Review Reviews of this book: Engagingly written and richly rewarding, this title presents what Boss has learned from many years of treating individuals and families suffering from uncertain or incomplete loss...The obvious depth of the author's understanding of sufferers of ambiguous loss and the facility with which she communicates that understanding make this a book to be recommended. --R. R. Cornellius, Choice Reviews of this book: Written for a wide readership, the concepts of ambiguous loss take immediate form through the many provocative examples and stories Boss includes, All readers will find stories with which they will relate...Sensitive, grounded and practical, this book should, in my estimation, be required reading for family practitioners. --Ted Bowman, Family Forum Reviews of this book: Dr. Boss describes [the] all-too-common phenomenon [of unresolved grief] as resulting from either of two circumstances: when the lost person is still physically present but emotionally absent or when the lost person is physically absent but still emotionally present. In addition to senility, physical presence but psychological absence may result, for example, when a person is suffering from a serious mental disorder like schizophrenia or depression or debilitating neurological damage from an accident or severe stroke, when a person abuses drugs or alcohol, when a child is autistic or when a spouse is a workaholic who is not really 'there' even when he or she is at home...Cases of physical absence with continuing psychological presence typically occur when a soldier is missing in action, when a child disappears and is not found, when a former lover or spouse is still very much missed, when a child 'loses' a parent to divorce or when people are separated from their loved ones by immigration...Professionals familiar with Dr. Boss's work emphasised that people suffering from ambiguous loss were not mentally ill, but were just stuck and needed help getting past the barrier or unresolved grief so that they could get on with their lives. --Asian Age Combining her talents as a compassionate family therapist and a creative researcher, Pauline Boss eloquently shows the many and complex ways that people can cope with the inevitable losses in contemporary family life. A wise book, and certain to become a classic. --Constance R. Ahrons, author of The Good Divorce A powerful and healing book. Families experiencing ambiguous loss will find strategies for seeing what aspects of their loved ones remain, and for understanding and grieving what they have lost. Pauline Boss offers us both insight and clarity. --Kathy Weingarten, Ph.D, The Family Institute of Cambridge, Harvard Medical School

Grief overload is what you feel when you experience too many significant losses all at once, in a relatively short period of time, or cumulatively. In addition to the deaths of loved ones, such losses can also include divorce, estrangement, illness, relocation, job changes, and more. Our minds and hearts have enough trouble coping with a single loss, so when the losses pile up, the grief often seems especially chaotic and defeating. The good news is that through intentional, active mourning, you can and will find your way back to hope and healing. This compassionate guide will show you how.

In this groundbreaking new work, David Kessler—an expert on grief and the coauthor with Elisabeth Kübler-Ross of the iconic On Grief and Grieving—journeys beyond the classic five stages to discover a sixth stage: meaning. In 1969, Elisabeth Kübler Ross first identified the stages of dying in her transformative book On Death and Dying. Decades later, she and David Kessler wrote the classic On Grief and Grieving, introducing the stages of grief with the same transformative pragmatism and compassion. Now, based on hard-earned personal experiences, as well as knowledge and wisdom earned through decades of work with the grieving, Kessler introduces a critical sixth stage. Many people look for “closure” after a loss. Kessler argues that it’s finding meaning beyond the stages of grief most of us are familiar with—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—that can transform grief into a more peaceful and hopeful experience. In this book, Kessler gives readers a roadmap to remembering those who have died with more love than pain; he shows us how to move forward in a way that honors our loved ones. Kessler’s insight is both professional and intensely personal. His journey with grief began when, as a child, he witnessed a mass shooting at the same time his mother was dying. For most of his life, Kessler taught physicians, nurses, counselors, police, and first responders about end of life, trauma, and grief, as well as leading talks and retreats for those experiencing grief. Despite his knowledge, his life was upended by the sudden death of his twenty-one-year-old son. How does the grief expert handle such a tragic loss? He knew he had to find a way through this unexpected, devastating loss, a way that would honor his son. That, ultimately, was the sixth state of grief—meaning. In Finding Meaning, Kessler shares the insights, collective wisdom, and powerful tools that will help those experiencing loss. Finding Meaning is a necessary addition to grief literature and a vital guide to healing from tremendous loss. This is an inspiring, deeply intelligent must-read for anyone looking to journey away from suffering, through loss, and towards meaning.

Grief and loss are burgeoning concerns for professional disciplines such as nursing, social work, family therapy, psychology, psychiatry, law, religion and medicine. Although understanding has increased in virtually all other areas of grief and loss, chronic sorrow has received scant attention. Chronic sorrow is a natural grief reaction to losses that are not final, but continue to be present in the life of the griever. This book views chronic sorrow in a life-span perspective, and reveals the effect on the griever and the people close to them. This book fills a void in the literature; and attempts to develop a comprehensive analysis of chronic sorrow that will secure its position within the field of grief and loss.

First published in 1996. This new book gives voice to an emerging consensus among bereavement scholars that our understanding of the grief process needs to be expanded. The dominant 20th century model holds that the function of grief and mourning is to cut bonds with the deceased, thereby freeing the survivor to reinvest in new relationships in the present. Pathological grief has been defined in terms of holding on to the deceased. Close examination reveals that this model is based more on the cultural values of modernity than on any substantial data of what people actually do. Presenting data from several populations, 22 authors - among the most respected in their fields - demonstrate that the health resolution of grief enables one to maintain a continuing bond with the deceased. Despite cultural disapproval and lack of validation by professionals, survivors find places for the dead in their on-going lives and even in their communities. Such bonds are not denial: the deceased can provide resources for enriched functioning in the present. Chapters examine widows and widowers, bereaved children, parents and siblings, and a population previously excluded from bereavement research: adoptees and their birth parents. Bereavement in Japanese culture is also discussed, as are meanings and implications of this new model of grief. Opening new areas of research and scholarly dialogue, this work provides the basis for significant developments in clinical practice in the field.

An insightful, compassionate account of the grieving process that helps us through the pain and isolation experienced with the loss of a loved one.. We're never really prepared for the loss of someone we love. Thrown into a state of emotional chaos we experience rage, guilt, anxiety, and intense sadness all at once. It's the oldest story in the world, we tell ourselves -- millions of people have had to cope with this before -- and yet, we always believe that what we are experiencing is unique to us. We feel isolated in our anguish and often ashamed of what we are feeling. A profoundly compassionate and insightful book, Surviving Grief. & Learning to Live Again offers you the support and understanding you need to get you through this difficult time. Written by Dr. Catherine Sanders, a therapist and researcher specializing in bereavement issues and one who has lived through the loss of close family members, it helps you to see that what you are feeling is part of a natural process of readjustment and renewal. According to Dr. Sanders, grieving, like any other natural regenerative process, must be allowed to run its proper course if we are ever to regain our equilibrium and continue on with our lives. To help us better understand the process, she describes the five universal phases of grief: Shock, Awareness of Loss, Conservation and The Need to Withdraw, Healing, and Renewal, and guides us through each. Drawing directly from her own experiences and those of her clients and her research studies, she delves deeply and compassionately into the different experiences of grief, and talks about what it means to lose a mate, a parent, or a child. And she discusses the factors that can have an influence on the grieving process, such as age, gender, and the circumstances surrounding the loved one's death.