Asking Is Better Than Telling

Given the many purposeful organizational missions, complex problems, and critical decisions that are part of today's workplace, skilled questioning techniques need to permeate every level of the organization. But how can we become better questioners? When we look at the work of great leaders, when we examine the incredible achievements of some average teams, when we experience the gifts of a great mentor, we observe that what makes them successful is NOT by what they tell us, but by the questions they ask. Leaders, project managers, supervisors, executive coaches, innovators, and consultants succeed because they ask the questions that revise old patterns of thought, foster innovation, and resolve persistent conflicts. Asking is Better Than Telling provides a unique look into why questions work the way that do, describes a questioning sequence that enhances the power of the question, and provides over 100 questions with their corresponding purpose that will enhance the reader's questioning prowess. It is a must-read and highly applicable book designed for anyone tasked with leading people to adopt change, foster innovation, and make collaborative decisions.

Communication is essential in a healthy organization. But all too often when we interact with people—especially those who report to us—we simply tell them what we think they need to know. This shuts them down. To generate bold new ideas, to avoid disastrous mistakes, to develop agility and flexibility, we need to practice Humble Inquiry. Ed Schein defines Humble Inquiry as “the fine art of drawing someone out, of asking questions to which you do not know the answer, of building a relationship based on curiosity and interest in the other person.” In this seminal work, Schein contrasts Humble Inquiry with other kinds of inquiry, shows the benefits Humble Inquiry provides in many different settings, and offers advice on overcoming the cultural, organizational, and psychological barriers that keep us from practicing it.

From the creator of the popular website Ask a Manager and New York’s work-advice columnist comes a witty, practical guide to 200 difficult professional conversations—featuring all-new advice! There’s a reason Alison Green has been called “the Dear Abby of the work world.” Ten years as a workplace-advice columnist have taught her that people avoid awkward conversations in the office because they simply don’t know what to say. Thankfully, Green does—and in this incredibly helpful book, she tackles the tough discussions you may need to have during your career. You’ll learn what to say when • coworkers push their work on you—then take credit for it • you accidentally trash-talk someone in an email then hit “reply all” • you’re being micromanaged—or not being managed at all • you catch a colleague in a lie • your boss seems unhappy with your work • your cubemate’s loud speakerphone is making you homicidal • you got drunk at the holiday party Praise for Ask a Manager “A must-read for anyone who works . . . [Alison Green’s] advice boils down to the idea that you should be professional (even when others are not) and that communicating in a straightforward manner with candor and kindness will get you far, no matter where you work.”—Booklist (starred review) “The author’s friendly, warm, no-nonsense writing is a pleasure to read, and her advice can be widely applied to relationships in all areas of readers’ lives. Ideal for anyone new to the job market or new to management, or anyone hoping to improve their work experience.”—Library Journal (starred review) “I am a huge fan of Alison Green’s Ask a Manager column. This book is even better. It teaches us how to deal with many of the most vexing big and little problems in our workplaces—and to do so with grace, confidence, and a sense of humor.”—Robert Sutton, Stanford professor and author of The No Asshole Rule and The Asshole Survival Guide “Ask a Manager is the ultimate playbook for navigating the traditional workforce in a diplomatic but firm way.”—Erin Lowry, author of Broke Millennial: Stop Scraping By and Get Your Financial Life Together

FOREWORD BY BRENE BROWN and POSTSCRIPT FROM BRAIN PICKINGS CREATOR MARIA POPOVA Rock star, crowdfunding pioneer, and TED speaker Amanda Palmer knows all about asking. Performing as a living statue in a wedding dress, she wordlessly asked thousands of passersby for their dollars. When she became a singer, songwriter, and musician, she was not afraid to ask her audience to support her as she surfed the crowd (and slept on their couches while touring). And when she left her record label to strike out on her own, she asked her fans to support her in making an album, leading to the world's most successful music Kickstarter. Even while Amanda is both celebrated and attacked for her fearlessness in asking for help, she finds that there are important things she cannot ask for-as a musician, as a friend, and as a wife. She learns that she isn't alone in this, that so many people are afraid to ask for help, and it paralyzes their lives and relationships. In this groundbreaking book, she explores these barriers in her own life and in the lives of those around her, and discovers the emotional, philosophical, and practical aspects of THE ART OF ASKING. Part manifesto, part revelation, this is the story of an artist struggling with the new rules of exchange in the twenty-first century, both on and off the Internet. THE ART OF ASKING will inspire readers to rethink their own ideas about asking, giving, art, and love.

The definitive guide to running productive meetings Facilitating With Ease! has become the go-to handbook for those who lead meetings, training, and other business gatherings. Packed with information, effective practices, and invaluable advice, this book is the comprehensive handbook for anyone who believes meetings should be productive, relevant, and as short as possible. Dozens of exercises, surveys, and checklists will help transform anyone into a skilled facilitator, and clear, actionable guidance makes implementation a breeze. This new fourth edition includes a new chapter on questioning, plus new material surrounding diversity, globalization, technology, feedback, distance teams, difficult executives, diverse locations, personal growth, meeting management, and much more. With in-depth, expert guidance from planning to closing, this book provides facilitators with an invaluable resource for learning or training. Before you run another meeting, discover the practices, processes, and techniques that turn you from a referee to an effective facilitator. This book provides a wealth of tools and insights that you can put into action today. Run productive meetings that get real results Keep discussions on track and facilitate the exchange of ideas Resolve conflict and deal with difficult individuals Train leaders and others to facilitate effectively Poorly-run meetings are an interruption in the day, and accomplish little other than putting everyone behind in their “real” work. On the other hand, a meeting run by an effective facilitator makes everyone’s job easier; decisions get made, strategies are improved, answers are given, and new ideas bubble to the surface. A productive meeting makes everyone happy, and results in real benefits that spread throughout the organization. Facilitating With Ease! is the skill-building guide to running great meetings with confidence and results.

Since the publication of the first edition of Facilitating with Ease! in 2000, this bestselling book has become the "go-to" reference for anyone who wants to become skilled in the art of facilitation. This thoroughly revised and updated third edition includes easy-to-follow instructions, techniques, and hands-on tools. Facilitating with Ease! offers the basics on running productive meetings with confidence and includes the information needed to train others to become skilled facilitators as well. Filled with dozens of exercises, surveys, and checklists that can be used to transform anyone into an effective facilitator, this revised editioncovers new topics such as: Why and when leaders should facilitate and how to manage neutrality Diversity, globalization, new technologies, and employee engagement When leaders should facilitate and when others should do it Sharing facilitation with others This new edition also includes meeting design template, surveys, and questionnaires Praise for Facilitating with Ease! "Facilitating With Ease! provides clear and effective guidelines for group facilitation. In China we are using this book to help organizations develop facilitative leaders who can successfully invoke the spirit of cooperation and team synergy." ?Ren Wei, professional facilitator, X'ian, China "Facilitating With Ease! helps beginners as well as experienced facilitators find their way among different aspects of facilitation. Easy to understand, this book provides insight into the principles of facilitation and examples of practical applications for concrete situations." ?Sieglinde Hinger, Siemens Corporation, Austria "Facilitating with Ease! is the fundamental read if you want to be an effective facilitator. We refer to it all the time and consider it a core competency for our consultants." ?Ian Madell, managing director, LEVEL5 Branded Business Advisors, Toronto, Canada "If you're only going to buy one book on facilitation, this is the one to buy! That's what we tell the managers, consultants and facilitators who attend our facilitation training programs. It's a gold mine of ideas, resources and practical tools." ?Ronnie McEwan, director, Kinharvie Institute, Glasgow, Scotland "I have been using Ingrid's materials for many years and find her books to be far above everything else out there. This latest revision builds on what was already great and will surely increase the effectiveness of any practitioner." ?Mark Vilbert, program leader, Boeing Leadership Center

A Powerful Approach to Bringing God's Grace to Kids Did you know that the way we deal (or don't deal) with our kids' misbehavior shapes their beliefs about themselves, the world, and God? Therefore it's vital to connect with their hearts--not just their minds--amid the daily behavior battles. With warmth and grace, Jim and Lynne Jackson, founders of Connected Families, offer four tried-and-true keys to handling any behavioral issues with love, truth, and authority. You will learn practical ways to communicate messages of grace and truth, how to discipline in a way that motivates your child, and how to keep your relationship strong, not antagonistic. Discipline is more than just a short-term attempt to modify your child's actions--it's a long-term investment to help them build faith, wisdom, and character for life. When you discover a better path to discipline, you'll find a more well-behaved--and well-believed--kid.

A hands-on resource for all Christians who want to communicate with more passion and power. Tony Campolo and Mary Albert Darling have teamed up to explore the dynamic connection that occurs when spirituality/spiritual practices are combined with effective communication practices. Churches and other religious organizations depend on the ability of their leaders and members to communicate (speak, teach, and preach) within their congregations and beyond. This important, practical guide will reveal Campolo's preaching secrets and Darling's wise counsel as a professor of communication. Includes interviews with prominent Christian leaders and thinkers Written by two experts on the topic of communication and spirituality Tony Campolo is one of America's most remarkable and beloved Christian communicators This is a key resource written for any Christian who would like to become a more skilled and spiritually mature communicator.