Be Holding

Winner, 2021 PEN/Jean Stein Award Winner, 2021 Ohioana Book Award in Poetry Winner, 2022 Indiana Author Award in Poetry Be Holding is a love song to legendary basketball player Julius Erving—known as Dr. J—who dominated courts in the 1970s and ‘80s as a small forward for the Philadelphia ‘76ers. But this book-length poem is more than just an ode to a magnificent athlete. Through a kind of lyric research, or lyric meditation, Ross Gay connects Dr. J’s famously impossible move from the 1980 NBA Finals against the Los Angeles Lakers to pick-up basketball and the flying Igbo and the Middle Passage, to photography and surveillance and state violence, to music and personal histories of flight and familial love. Be Holding wonders how the imagination, or how our looking, might make us, or bring us, closer to each other. How our looking might make us reach for each other. And might make us be reaching for each other. And how that reaching might be something like joy.

Using word play and bright splashes of color, this one-of-a-kind story of friendship uplifts, encourages, and honors the people we care about most. Full color.

Drawing on the teachings of D.W. Winnicott and John Bowlby, who helped revolutionize thinking about relational psychology, To Hold and Be Held integrates the concepts of the ‘holding environment’ and attachment theory and describes how they are applied in a clinical setting. It also uses metaphor to both derive meaning from the language of the therapeutic process and to apply that meaning within a systems framework to effect significant therapeutic change. As the number of children with complex problems increases and the facilities to treat and manage them decrease, schools are left with few resources to cope. Professionals such as teachers, psychologists, social workers, and counselors need a new framework in which to think about and advocate for services for these children. To Hold and Be Held describes the creation of a system of working that not only holds the child and his family, but also holds the larger system as well – a system in which therapeutic services are integrated at all levels and implemented in public schools in a way that supports all those involved. This is not only a unique and successful way of working with children and their families, but a timely one as well.

Perfectionism is about believing that if we can just do something perfectly, other people will love and accept us - and if we can't, we'll never be good enough. That belief is a burden that can negatively affect all areas of a person's life. In this positive, practical book (retitled and updated edition), psychologist Tom Greenspon explains perfectionism, where it comes from, and what parents can do about it. He describes a healing process for transforming perfectionism into healthy living practices and self-acceptance. Parents who want to help their kids move past perfectionism and live happier, healthier lives in which they're free to make mistakes, to learn, and to grow will benefit from this book. In addition, parents who struggle with their own perfectionism - and whose perfectionism takes a toll on the family - will find help for themselves within these pages.

This heartwarming picture book reassures children that a parent’s love never lets go—based on the poignant lyrics of JJ Heller’s beloved lullaby “Hand to Hold.” “May the living light inside you be the compass as you go / May you always know you have my hand to hold.” With delightful illustrations and an engaging rhyme scheme, this book offers the promise of security and love every child’s heart longs to know. From skipping stones and counting stars to climbing trees and telling stories, every moment is wrapped snugly in the certain warmth of a parent’s presence and God’s blessing. With poignancy and joy, this bedtime read captures the unconditional love parents want their children to know but so often fail to express amid the chaos of daily life.

A psychologist with a reputation for penetrating to the heart of complex parenting issues joins forces with a physician and bestselling author to tackle one of the most disturbing and misunderstood trends of our time -- peers replacing parents in the lives of our children. Dr. Neufeld has dubbed this phenomenon peer orientation, which refers to the tendency of children and youth to look to their peers for direction: for a sense of right and wrong, for values, identity and codes of behaviour. But peer orientation undermines family cohesion, poisons the school atmosphere, and fosters an aggressively hostile and sexualized youth culture. It provides a powerful explanation for schoolyard bullying and youth violence; its effects are painfully evident in the context of teenage gangs and criminal activity, in tragedies such as in Littleton, Colorado; Tabor, Alberta and Victoria, B.C. It is an escalating trend that has never been adequately described or contested until Hold On to Your Kids. Once understood, it becomes self-evident -- as do the solutions. Hold On to Your Kids will restore parenting to its natural intuitive basis and the parent-child relationship to its rightful preeminence. The concepts, principles and practical advice contained in Hold On to Your Kids will empower parents to satisfy their children’s inborn need to find direction by turning towards a source of authority, contact and warmth. Something has changed. One can sense it, one can feel it, just not find the words for it. Children are not quite the same as we remember being. They seem less likely to take their cues from adults, less inclined to please those in charge, less afraid of getting into trouble. Parenting, too, seems to have changed. Our parents seemed more confident, more certain of themselves and had more impact on us, for better or for worse. For many, parenting does not feel natural. Adults through the ages have complained about children being less respectful of their elders and more difficult to manage than preceding generations, but could it be that this time it is for real? -- from Hold On to Your Kids

What’s holding you back from living out your identity as a woman of God? Many of us as women feel conflicted about Jesus’s calling on our lives because a woman trying to love God beyond her heart and soul, with her mind and strength, can be thought of as crossing some line or unspoken boundary. Bible teacher Kat Armstrong challenges us to ask, “Why am I allowing limitations on my pursuit of Jesus’s calling?” In No More Holding Back, Armstrong debunks five common myths about women: Women Can’t Be Trusted to Learn and Lead I Don’t Have a Lot to Offer My Greatest Joy Is Marriage and Highest Calling Is Motherhood Chapter I Am Too Much to Handle Leading Ladies Don’t Fit in Supporting Roles No More Holding Back invites us to discover the joy and freedom of being all in for Jesus.

Bringing the Shovel Down is a re-imagination of the violent mythologies of state and power. "These poems speak out of a global consciousness as well as an individual wisdom that is bright with pity, terror, and rage, and which asks the reader to realize that she is not alone--that the grief he carries is not just his own. Gay is a poet of conscience, who echoes Tomas Transtromer's 'We do not surrender. But want peace.'" --Jean Valentine "Ross Gay is some kind of brilliant latter-day troubadour whose poetry is shaped not only by yearning but also play and scrutiny, melancholy and intensity. I might be shocked by the bold, persistent love throughout Bringing the Shovel Down if I wasn’t so wooed and transformed by it." --Terrance Hayes