Beyond Betrayal

Responding Right When You've Been Wronged We all know what it’s like to be lied to, cheated, tricked, or swindled. Whether you want revenge or to protect yourself from future harm, Phil Waldrep understands your pain. Waldrep had no idea of the steep journey that lay ahead of him when two men walked into his office and revealed an unfolding story of a friend turned colleague who was living what amounted to a second life. For years following, Waldrep sought to heal the wounds of this broken relationship and confront the pain he felt in the aftermath of this betrayal. Along the way, he discovered God’s solutions to overcoming resentment. In Beyond Betrayal, you’ll learn about the biblical principles and practical tools that can help you identify betrayers in your life and name the pain you feel rediscover God as the healer of your wounds avoid bitterness and express your anger in healthy ways learn to remain open to trusting others again as you build new relationships choose forgiveness and develop strategies to prevent future betrayal Whether you’ve been hurt by a family member, friend, colleague, or trusted leader, you are not alone. Even Jesus was betrayed. You don’t have to let past hurts limit your future relationships—you can move beyond betrayal.

A go-to guide on how to confront, heal from, and ultimately thrive after the devastation of betrayal by a partner's compulsive sexual or other addictive behavior The first book specifically for partners affected by addictive behavior that addresses, in detail, how to identify, create, and maintain boundaries as a vital component of self-care and an indispensable tool for healing and growth. Through working the 5-Step Boundary Solution partners will gain clarity; reduce the chaos inherent in relationships impacted by sex addiction; feel more empowered and in control of their lives; discover whether or not their relationship with the addict is salvageable. Vicki Tidwell Palmer is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW), Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT), and Somatic Experiencing Practitioner (SEP) in private practice in Houston, Texas. She is the author of the blog for partners Survival Strategies for Partners of Sex Addicts.

"With compassion and clarity, Richard Gartner shares insights from years of working with male survivors. Among this book's greatest strengths is the extensive use of examples from Dr. Gartner's clinical practice to illustrate problems and solutions on the path to healing. Beyond Betrayal offers support, encouragement, and useful skills to men in recovery." --Mike Lew, M.Ed., author of Victims No Longer and Leaping upon the Mountains "If you have been sexually abused, this book will give you information, hope, direction, and most importantly, the assurance that you are not alone. Dr. Gartner has written an accessible, compassionate book that clearly lays out the healing process for men who were hurt or abused as children. Whether you were abused by a mother, a camp counselor, a neighborhood boy, or a priest, Beyond Betrayal will give you the tools you need to reclaim your life and move on. If you're going to take one book with you on the healing journey, this should be the one." --Laura Davis, coauthor of The Courage to Heal and author of The Courage to Heal Workbook "Compassionate, insightful, and hopeful, Beyond Betrayal shines a bright light. It is a must-read for anyone concerned." --Kenneth M. Adams, Ph.D., author of Silently Seduced "Beyond Betrayal cuts through the shame, confusion, misunderstanding, and fear that so often accompany the abuse of males and replaces them with clear information. I will begin to use it immediately with my patients and think that other clinicians will do so as well." --Christine A. Courtois, Ph.D., author of Healing the Incest Wound and Recollections of Sexual Abuse "Beyond Betrayal offers men straightforward words of hope and a meaningful way to overcome the invisibility, stigma, and shame they have endured. Many men and their families will find this book a healing aid." --Jack Drescher, M.D., author of Psychoanalytic Therapy and the Gay Man "Dr. Gartner writes in a manner any reader will find accessible. Not only does he understand the topic of males, sexual abuse, and recovery, but he can explain it to those who need to know." --Dr. Mic Hunter, author of Abused Boys and editor of Adult Survivors of Sexual Abuse: Treatment Innovations

In 2002, the national spotlight fell on Boston’s archdiocese, where decades of rampant sexual misconduct from priests—and the church’s systematic cover-ups—were exposed by reporters from the Boston Globe. The sordid and tragic stories of abuse and secrecy led many to leave the church outright and others to rekindle their faith and deny any suggestions of institutional wrongdoing. But a number of Catholics vowed to find a middle ground between these two extremes: keeping their faith while simultaneously working to change the church for the better. Beyond Betrayal charts a nationwide identity shift through the story of one chapter of Voice of the Faithful (VOTF), an organization founded in the scandal’s aftermath. VOTF had three goals: helping survivors of abuse; supporting priests who were either innocent or took risky public stands against the wrongdoers; and pursuing a broad set of structural changes in the church. Patricia Ewick and Marc W. Steinberg follow two years in the life of one of the longest-lived and most active chapters of VOTF, whose thwarted early efforts at ecclesiastical reform led them to realize that before they could change the Catholic Church, they had to change themselves. The shaping of their collective identity is at the heart of Beyond Betrayal, an ethnographic portrait of how one group reimagined their place within an institutional order and forged new ideas of faith in the wake of widespread distrust.

Beyond the Betrayal is a lyrically written memoir by Yoshito Kuromiya (1923–2018), a Nisei member of the Fair Play Committee (FPC), which was organized at the Heart Mountain concentration camp. The first book-length account by a Nisei World War II draft resister, this work presents an insider’s perspective on the FPC and the infamous trial condemning its members' efforts. It offers not only a beautifully written account of an important moment in US history but also a rare acknowledgment of dissension within the resistance movement, both between the young men who went to prison and their older leaders and also among the young men themselves. Kuromiya’s narrative is enriched by contributions from Frank Chin, Eric L. Muller, and Lawson Fusao Inada. Of the 300 Japanese Americans who resisted the military draft on the grounds that the US government had deprived them of their fundamental rights as US citizens, Kuromiya alone has produced an autobiographical volume that explores the short- and long-term causes and consequences of this fateful wartime decision. In his exquisitely written and powerfully documented testament he speaks truth to power, making evident why he is eminently qualified to convey the plight of the Nisei draft resisters. He perceptively reframes the wartime and postwar experiences of the larger Japanese American community, commonly said to have suffered in the spirit of shikata ga nai—enduring that which cannot be changed—and emerged with dignity. Beyond the Betrayal makes abundantly clear that the unjustly imprisoned Nisei could and did exercise their patriotism even when they refused to serve in the military in the name of civil liberties and social justice. Kuromiya’s account, initially privately circulated only to family and friends, is an invaluable and insightful addition to the Nikkei historical record.

One of the world's top experts on betrayal looks at why we often can't see it right in front of our faces If the cover-up is worse than the crime, blindness to betrayal can be worse than the betrayal itself. Whether the betrayer is an unfaithful spouse, an abusive authority figure, an unfair boss, or a corrupt institution, we often refuse to see the truth order to protect ourselves. This book explores the fascinating phenomenon of how and why we ignore or deny betrayal, and what we can gain by transforming "betrayal blindness" into insight. Explains the psychological phenomenon of "betrayal blindness", in which we implicitly choose unawareness in order to avoid the risk of seeing treachery or injustice Based on the authors' substantial original research and clinical experience carried out over the last decade as well as their own story of confronting betrayal Filled with fascinating case studies involving unfaithful spouses, abusive authority figures and corrupt institutions, to name a few In a remarkable collaboration of science and clinical perspectives, Jennifer Freyd, one of the world's top experts on betrayal and child abuse, teams up with Pamela Birrell, a psychotherapist and educator with 25 years of experience.