Beyond Blaming

What happens when you choose to give up blaming? Power is unleashed within you. Success comes more easily. Your passio is sparked and it drives you in a positive direction. With blame out of the way, opur path to success is open. We can be the powerful beings we are meant to be. Our organizations can become focused, engaged, highly competent groups that enjoy peak performance. The question is: "Are you interested and willing to be more powerful? Are you willing to move out of the neighborhood of victimhood and into the the tower of power? If you are, then you are invited on a journey to greatness--a journey beyond blaming.

"IT veteran Dave Zweiback describes an incident that threatens the very existence of a large financial institution, and the counterintuitive steps its leadership took to stop the downward spiral. Their novel approach is grounded in proven concepts from complexity science, resilience engineering, human factors, cognitive science, and organizational psychology. It allows us to identify the underlying conditions for failure, and make our systems (and organizations) safer and more resilient."--Page 4 of cover.

Through an examination of thirty-five major inquiries into child sexual abuse, the authors identify common themes with important implications for professional practice.

The inspiring new book from the author of Emotional Bullshit reveals why no one is to blame-but everyone's accountable. For many, a rare day goes by in which the need to blame does not arise-be it to cover one's own errors or just to assign an unfortunate event some kind of name (i.e., "If only X hadn't said X, we wouldn't be in this mess.") And even for those who are somewhat better at keeping the impulse in check-it is still there. According to psychologist Carl Alasko, blame is such an intrinsic part of how we humans communicate that we rarely take a look at what we're actually doing-and how it can affect our relationships. In this book, Alasko reveals that the need to assign blame when something bad happens stems from a very deep desire we all share to "see justice done". Understandable when a grave crime has been committed, but it can become a dangerous habit if we begin to operate as though placing blame were somehow necessary if we want to change something or someone in our world. Yet this feeling that "someone has to pay" is seldom productive in initiating positive change. In Beyond Blame, Alasko teaches readers to recognize destruction that blame causes in their lives-oftentimes without their even being aware-and to put an end to it once and for all. The path to eliminating blame is not a quick or easy one but, as Carl Alasko demonstrates, it is a road that must be traveled if we hope to achieve true peace in our lives.

Armstrong Williams, a nationally-syndicated radio and television host, sets a higher standard for himself. Through his shows, and in his personal life as well, Armstrong lives his own rhetoric of individual empowerment, hard work, faith, and social responsibility.

Wrestling with the question, Is God to blame?, Gregory A. Boyd offers a hopeful picture of a sovereign God who is relentlessly opposed to evil, who knows our sufferings and who can be trusted to bring us through them to renewed life.

An invisible disease is affecting every aspect of your life. Insidious and creeping, it shapes you everyday – from the bedroom to the boardroom, from your shopping splurge, to the extra helping at your holiday dinner, to the dangerous liaison at work. It’s called emotional bullshit, and it’s encroaching on your happiness. In Emotional Bullshit: The Hidden Plague That Is Threatening to Destroy Your Relationships – AND HOW TO STOP IT , Carl Alasko, Ph.D. sheds light on the stealth disease of Emotional BS: that is, the Toxic Trio of denial, delusion and blame that we fall back on when faced with difficult situations. These three dynamics work together to distort and manipulate truth, create a delusional reality, and shift blame when things fall apart. With the toxic trio in action, it’s all but impossible to get at the heart of the problem. The result, however, is obvious – no one can achieve happiness and fulfillment. And when used in the world of business, Emotional BS can lead to financial ruin. In his over twenty years working with individuals, couples and families as a psychotherapist, Dr. Alasko has come to recognize the same problem underlying all his patients’ unhappiness. When confronted with an unpleasant or inconvenient reality, they fall prey to the TOXIC TRIO: DENIAL: “My girlfriend enjoys a ‘good time’ at parties, sure. But she doesn’t have a drinking problem.” Decoded: There is no problem. Everything is okay. You’re exaggerating See: the drinker, the overweight, the wallet full of maxed-out credit cards (pg 12) DELUSION: “Working late isn’t a problem. My family will understand when I get that big promotion.” Decoded: I’ll tell you what’s true. Don’t believe what you see – believe me. See: the demanding boss, the neglected partner, the alienated friend (pgs 63, 138) BLAME: “She knew I hated sloppiness when she married me. Why can’t she pick up after herself?” Decoded: You’re the problem. I was forced to do it; I had no choice. See: the clean freak, sub-prime mortgages, Napoleon Bonaparte (pgs 45, 84) When the Toxic Trio works together, we become stuck in a cycle of emotional BS, preventing us from moving on or learning from our mistakes. Emotional bullshit’s pervasiveness in society can be found everywhere, from rising divorce rates, weight gain, and debt, to angry outbursts at work, loss of control over our children, and a lack of fulfillment in our lives. The solution is deceptively simple: You focus on your Core Needs, which is any behavior that advances your long-term best interest, and ask yourself the Master Question—“What do I need from this situation?”. Honestly addressing the larger issue – not just in the short term – cuts the BS in every relationship: between friends, co-workers, couples, in parenting and especially in business. Frank, concise and unapologetic, EMOTIONAL BULLSHIT sheds light on this hidden plague, and provides concrete advice to keep it from infiltrating your relationships.