Bitter Party Of One Your Table Is Ready

With over twenty years of experience in failed marriages and relationships, author Larry Star mixes his caustic wit with his astute perception to make Bitter, Party of One. Your Table is Ready, an uproarious ride through the cycle of male-female coupling. Inside Bitter, Party of One you will learn. Why you should become a proponent for disclaimers on underwear packaging Why your teetering marriage shouldn't be left in the hands of a counselor you picked from the back page of a free newspaper What Post Super Bowl Realization is and how to avoid it Why knowing your woman's cycle will make for a much more enjoyable honeymoon/vacation/life in general And much more. Filled with insight and humor, Bitter, Party of One takes you on an entertaining journey through the typical American relationship-from meeting that special someone, through the wedding, marriage, and, finally, divorce-culminating in reflection over what went right, what went wrong, and the mental incapacitation that compels you to do it all over again. 'Larry Star is infectiously funny!" -George Carlin never said this. 'A satirical genius!" -Al Franken said this about himself. 'Crackling wit and untethered imagination." -New York Times Book Review about an entirely different book.

In a world of lip synching, breast implants, and staged reality shows, it's hard to know the real from the fake. Now "hoaxpert" Boese offers the essential field guide to today's "Misinformation Age."

DIVWith a chatty voice and sarcastic style, The Faker's Guide to the Classics condenses the great—but long and often complicated—novels, plays, and poems into bite-size nuggets of info that are easy to digest, cutting out the bloated analysis and nauseating debate of other reading guides. From Anna Karenina and Beowulf to Ulysses and Wuthering Heights, each of the 100 books profiled here is a classic that everyone talks about but only hardcore lit majors have actually read. Now, with The Faker's Guide to the Classics, you, too, can: Reminisce about books you were supposed to read for class but didn't; fudge literary discussions at fancy parties; impress a date with your incredible knowledge and wit; and cut through the ivory tower of world letters to read like a ninja! Each entry contains: a quick and dirty narrative description of plot points and overall story, including significant twists and surprise endings, told with humorous brevity; famous quotes from each work, accompanied by smartass responses; the original cover or an illustration conveying the work’s tone (or lack thereof). Brief author bios, including misdeeds and scandals, add illuminating and occasionally disgusting background to each work. All of the text appears in simple, contemporary English, so it’s easy to understand—and short enough to tweet. With this must-have guide, there’s no more need to worry whether a reference to Miss Havisham is an insult or to wonder what happened to Moby-Dick. Not reading the classics has never been easier! /div

First released in the No Rest for the Witches anthology, delight in this magical, sexy short story from bestselling author Christine Warren. Available for the first time ever as a standalone ebook, get lost in the sinful pleasures of the being the witch has summoned to tame her world...and unleash her passion... When a witch, craving the touch of someone who loves her, decides to take matters of into her own hands, she casts a spell of unmeasured powers into the cosmos to find the one who can set her soul on fire. And when her magic summons the sexiest being she's ever laid eyes on, desire will consume them both...in Any Witch Way She Can.

For sale: The state of West Virginia Britney Spears’s Pregnancy Test A Spare Kidney Bob Dylan’s Childhood Home The World’s Longest French Fry Black Betsy The Meaning of Life There is only one place you can get all of these under one roof. In addition to being one of the world’s largest retailers, eBay is also home of some of the most notorious, creative, and just plain weird items to ever hit the virtual auction block. This comic celebration of the spirit of free enterprise brings together the full stories of one hundred of the most hilarious eBay auctions ever. From the “Ghost in a Jar” auction that recorded more than a million page views, to the woman who auctioned off her virginity before eBay shut her page down, to the saintly grilled cheese sandwich said to portray the face of the Virgin Mary and contain special powers, to the man who modeled his ex-wife’s wedding dress, sold it for more than three times its original purchase price, and received several marriage proposals to boot, this book chronicles the listings that have made the site such an integral—and entertaining—part of our culture. The Grilled Cheese Madonna is a salute to capitalism in its most ridiculous form.

Desiree’s been on her own for as long as she can remember. Her friends have become her family and she guards her heart with walls thicker than glass. Josh, a smooth talking man with handsome smile and gorgeous eyes. He’s got lines that make a woman melt. But Desiree doesn’t want to melt. Josh’s hard body and sexy lines are working her up in the best way possible. Determined not to be just another notch on his bedpost, Desiree and Josh embark on a steamy love affair. Until a blast from Josh’s past rolls in an attempt to shatter the first piece of happiness that Desiree has felt in a long time. Was Desiree right all along? Can no man really be trusted? Or is it worth it fight for the one man who has been fighting for her since the day he walked into her life? Can they find love and prove they are no longer broken?

Kelsie and Eric, rivals for valedictorian, team up to go on an overnight road trip to the University of Pennsylvania to win back their exes.

The author recounts episodes from her life as a mother of two autistic children, from handling temper tantrums at home and in public to humorous anecdotes about Santa Claus, obsessions, and family life.