Bonded To The Abuser

Tens of thousands of children are removed from home each year due to some form of child maltreatment, usually physical neglect, physical abuse, or sexual abuse, although sometimes for emotional abuse as well. An additional significant number of children are victims of child maltreatment but remain in their home. Extensive research reveals the far reaching and long lasting negative impact of maltreatment on child victims, including on their physical, social, emotional, and behavioral functioning. One particularly troubling and complicated aspect is how the child victim forms (and maintains) a “traumatic bond” with his abuser, even becoming protective and defensive of that person despite the pain and suffering they have caused. This book will provide the reader with the essential experience of understanding how children make meaning of being maltreated by a parent, and how these traumatic bonds form and last. Through an examination of published memoirs of abuse, the authors analyze and reveal the commonalities in the stories to uncover the ways in which adult victims of childhood abuse understand and digest the traumatic experiences of their childhoods. This understanding can inform interventions and treatments designed for this vulnerable population and can help family and friends of victims understand more fully the maltreatment experience “from the inside out.”

Child abuse is crushing and may lead to a lifetime of negative outcomes, including poor health, and mental illness. More wrenching is the bond victims often form with their abusers, one so strong they may attempt to protect and defend their victimizers. This book uncovers the realities of these relationships through an examination of abuse memoirs.

'If your relationship is so bad, why don't you just leave them?' 'If you were in such an abusive relationship, why did you stay with them for so long?' 'If you knew you were in a relationship with such a toxic person, why didn't you ask people for help?' If you've ever been asked these questions, aside from being ignorant and hurtful, you'll know it's beyond frustrating. The answer to the above questions, whilst it's complex and often confusing, can be given with two words: trauma bonded. If you find you're in a relationship that you know is so toxic that it's crushing your very being, but you can't bring yourself to leave, you may be in the clutches of a tight trauma bond. If you're constantly feeling on edge, forever working to appease your spouse to little avail and like you're constantly being chipped away at with their abusive behavior, then I can understand how emotionally shattering it feels to live this way. If in the same breath, it breaks your heart to even consider leaving them because you can't imagine life without them, then I can understand that feeling too; because I was trauma bonded to my abusive ex. From my own personal experience and from the experiences other survivors have opened up to me about, this book will cover the following: - What trauma bonding really is - The 7 stages that lead to you becoming trauma bonded - The parallels that Stockholm syndrome has with trauma bonding - The 5 stages you go through when you come to accept you're trauma bonded - The cognitive dissonance a trauma bond can cause - Breaking free from the traumatic bond This book will also include my own experiences and I'll draw upon those to help you really understand trauma bonding, and let you know that you're not alone in being shackled by this emotionally crippling bond. More importantly, this book will help you understand that the invisible chain that tethers you to your abuser can be broken.

Surviving Parental Alienation provides parents who have been ostracized from their children with understanding and validation through personal accounts and expert analysis. Offering insight and advice, the authors guide the "targeted" parent through the issues and challenges and help them better manage their experiences.

Toxic thoughts, depression, anxiety--our mental mess is frequently aggravated by a chaotic world and sustained by an inability to manage our runaway thoughts. But we shouldn't settle into this mental mess as if it's just our new normal. There's hope and help available to us--and the road to healthier thoughts and peak happiness may actually be shorter than you think. Backed by clinical research and illustrated with compelling case studies, Dr. Caroline Leaf provides a scientifically proven five-step plan to find and eliminate the root of anxiety, depression, and intrusive thoughts in your life so you can experience dramatically improved mental and physical health. In just 21 days, you can start to clean up your mental mess and be on the road to wholeness, peace, and happiness.

Some really great books just keep getting better! For seventeen years The Betrayal Bond has been the primary source for therapists and patients wrestling the effects of emotional pain and harm caused by exploitation from someone they trusted. Divorce, litigation, incest and child abuse, domestic violence, kidnapping, professional exploitation and religious abuse are all areas of trauma bonding. These are situations and relationships of incredible intensity or importance lend themselves more easily to an exploitation of trust or power. In The Betrayal Bond, Dr. Carnes presents an in-depth study of these relationships; why they form, who is most susceptible, and how they become so powerful. Dr. Carnes also gives a clear explanation of the bond that compels people to tolerate the intolerable, and for the first time, maps out the brain connection that makes being with hurtful people comparable to 'a drug of choice.' Most importantly, Carnes provides practical steps to identify compulsive attachment patterns and ultimately to change or end them for good. This new edition includes: New science for understanding how our brains can make a prison of bad relationships New assessments and insights based on 50,000 research participants A new section utilizing the latest findings in attachment research and narrative therapy to concretely rewrite and rescript bad experiences A redefinition of the factors contributing to addictive relationships

'If your relationship is so bad, why don't you just leave them?' 'If you were in such an abusive relationship, why did you stay with them for so long?' 'If you knew you were in a relationship with such a toxic person, why didn't you ask people for help?' If you've ever been asked these questions, aside from being ignorant and hurtful, you'll know it's beyond frustrating. The answer to the above questions, whilst it's complex and often confusing, can be given with two words: trauma bonded. If you find you're in a relationship that you know is so toxic that it's crushing your very being, but you can't bring yourself to leave, you may be in the clutches of a tight trauma bond. If you're constantly feeling on edge, forever working to appease your spouse to little avail and like you're constantly being chipped away at with their abusive behavior, then I can understand how emotionally shattering it feels to live this way. If in the same breath, it breaks your heart to even consider leaving them because you can't imagine life without them, then I can understand that feeling too; because I was trauma bonded to my abusive ex. From my own personal experience and from the experiences other survivors have opened up to me about, this book will cover the following: - What trauma bonding really is - The 7 stages that lead to you becoming trauma bonded - The parallels that Stockholm syndrome has with trauma bonding - The 5 stages you go through when you come to accept you're trauma bonded - The cognitive dissonance a trauma bond can cause - Breaking free from the traumatic bond This book will also include my own experiences and I'll draw upon those to help you really understand trauma bonding, and let you know that you're not alone in being shackled by this emotionally crippling bond. More importantly, this book will help you understand that the invisible chain that tethers you to your abuser can be broken.

The Encyclopedia of Domestic Violence is a modern reference from the leading international scholars in domestic violence research. This ground-breaking project has created the first ever publication of an encyclopedia of domestic violence. The primary goal of the Encyclopedia is to provide information on a variety of traditional, as well as breakthrough, issues in this complex phenomenon. The coverage of the Encyclopedia is broad and diverse, encompassing the entire life span from infancy to old age. The entries include the traditional research areas, such as battered women, child abuse and dating violence. However, this Encyclopedia is unique in that it includes many under-studied areas of domestic violence, such as ritual abuse-torture within families, domestic violence against women with disabilities, pseudo-family violence and domestic violence within military families. It is also unique in that it examines cross-cultural perspectives of domestic violence. One of the key special features in this Encyclopedia is the cross-reference section at the end of each entry. This allows the reader the ability to continue their research of a particular topic. This book will be an easy-to-read reference guide on a host of topics, which are alphabetically arranged. Precautions have been taken to ensure that the Encyclopedia is not politically slanted; rather, it is hoped that it will serve as a basic guide to better understanding the myriad issues surrounding this labyrinthine topic. Topics covered include: Victims of Domestic Violence; Theoretical Perspectives and Correlates to Domestic Violence; Cross-Cultural Perspectives and Religious Perspectives; Understudied Areas within Domestic Violence Research; Domestic Violence and the Law; and Child Abuse and Elder Abuse.