Born With A Broken Heart And Then Blamed For Crying

How sad the people all of their lives who have no love to give. How blessed by God are the ones unloved when they learn to forgive.

When a loved one dies we mourn our loss. We take comfort in the rituals that mark the passing, and we turn to those around us for support. But what happens when there is no closure, when a family member or a friend who may be still alive is lost to us nonetheless? How, for example, does the mother whose soldier son is missing in action, or the family of an Alzheimer's patient who is suffering from severe dementia, deal with the uncertainty surrounding this kind of loss? In this sensitive and lucid account, Pauline Boss explains that, all too often, those confronted with such ambiguous loss fluctuate between hope and hopelessness. Suffered too long, these emotions can deaden feeling and make it impossible for people to move on with their lives. Yet the central message of this book is that they can move on. Drawing on her research and clinical experience, Boss suggests strategies that can cushion the pain and help families come to terms with their grief. Her work features the heartening narratives of those who cope with ambiguous loss and manage to leave their sadness behind, including those who have lost family members to divorce, immigration, adoption, chronic mental illness, and brain injury. With its message of hope, this eloquent book offers guidance and understanding to those struggling to regain their lives. Table of Contents: 1. Frozen Grief 2. Leaving without Goodbye 3. Goodbye without Leaving 4. Mixed Emotions 5. Ups and Downs 6. The Family Gamble 7. The Turning Point 8. Making Sense out of Ambiguity 9. The Benefit of a Doubt Notes Acknowledgments Reviews of this book: You will find yourself thinking about the issues discussed in this book long after you put it down and perhaps wishing you had extra copies for friends and family members who might benefit from knowing that their sorrows are not unique...This book's value lies in its giving a name to a force many of us will confront--sadly, more than once--and providing personal stories based on 20 years of interviews and research. --Pamela Gerhardt, Washington Post Reviews of this book: A compassionate exploration of the effects of ambiguous loss and how those experiencing it handle this most devastating of losses ... Boss's approach is to encourage families to talk together, to reach a consensus about how to mourn that which has been lost and how to celebrate that which remains. Her simple stories of families doing just that contain lessons for all. Insightful, practical, and refreshingly free of psychobabble. --Kirkus Review Reviews of this book: Engagingly written and richly rewarding, this title presents what Boss has learned from many years of treating individuals and families suffering from uncertain or incomplete loss...The obvious depth of the author's understanding of sufferers of ambiguous loss and the facility with which she communicates that understanding make this a book to be recommended. --R. R. Cornellius, Choice Reviews of this book: Written for a wide readership, the concepts of ambiguous loss take immediate form through the many provocative examples and stories Boss includes, All readers will find stories with which they will relate...Sensitive, grounded and practical, this book should, in my estimation, be required reading for family practitioners. --Ted Bowman, Family Forum Reviews of this book: Dr. Boss describes [the] all-too-common phenomenon [of unresolved grief] as resulting from either of two circumstances: when the lost person is still physically present but emotionally absent or when the lost person is physically absent but still emotionally present. In addition to senility, physical presence but psychological absence may result, for example, when a person is suffering from a serious mental disorder like schizophrenia or depression or debilitating neurological damage from an accident or severe stroke, when a person abuses drugs or alcohol, when a child is autistic or when a spouse is a workaholic who is not really 'there' even when he or she is at home...Cases of physical absence with continuing psychological presence typically occur when a soldier is missing in action, when a child disappears and is not found, when a former lover or spouse is still very much missed, when a child 'loses' a parent to divorce or when people are separated from their loved ones by immigration...Professionals familiar with Dr. Boss's work emphasised that people suffering from ambiguous loss were not mentally ill, but were just stuck and needed help getting past the barrier or unresolved grief so that they could get on with their lives. --Asian Age Combining her talents as a compassionate family therapist and a creative researcher, Pauline Boss eloquently shows the many and complex ways that people can cope with the inevitable losses in contemporary family life. A wise book, and certain to become a classic. --Constance R. Ahrons, author of The Good Divorce A powerful and healing book. Families experiencing ambiguous loss will find strategies for seeing what aspects of their loved ones remain, and for understanding and grieving what they have lost. Pauline Boss offers us both insight and clarity. --Kathy Weingarten, Ph.D, The Family Institute of Cambridge, Harvard Medical School

Most of the time we get the mother's perspective when dealing with children. A Father's Cry is just the opposite of that, it's a father's perspective on life how he deals with everything. Also, it tells you how a father really feels about his children but continue to get pushed away and never gives up. During the trials and tribulations in life and a death of his sister what made him do better. This book examines how a good woman can show you real love, support, care, and showing that she will always be there for you no matter what's trials you go through in life. A Father's Cry is all his pain and tears and not holding back from voicing what's right for a father. Often, we fathers don't get the recognition we deserve, yet we do what's right for our children, but not recognized by the baby's mothers. We fathers all walk lives single, or in relationships, trying to move forward with our children being held as a paycheck. We still don't disown our children, nor do we talk bad about their mothers. We push forward and make ourselves happy at the same time to be present for our children. This book will also show how a child helps a father deal with depression, PTSD, and suicidal issues with them present. Some things will make you cry and break you, but we still must wear our masks and push forward.

“[Goulston’s]ideas are a bit counter-intuitive but they really do shift the dynamic and help people diffuse and disarm the irrational person leading to more positive outcomes.” -- Online MBA Because some people are beyond difficult... Let’s face it, we all know people who are irrational. No matter how hard you try to reason with them, it never works. So what’s the solution? How do you talk to someone who’s out of control? What can you do with a boss who bullies, a spouse who yells, or a friend who frequently bursts into tears? In his book, Just Listen, Mark Goulston shared his bestselling formula for getting through to the resistant people in your life. Now, in his breakthrough new book Talking to Crazy, he brings his communication magic to the most difficult group of all—the downright irrational. As a psychiatrist, Goulston has seen his share of crazy and he knows from experience that you can’t simply argue it away. The key to handling irrational people is to learn to lean into the crazy—to empathize with it. That radically changes the dynamic and transforms you from a threat into an ally. Talking to Crazy explains this counterintuitive Sanity Cycle and reveals: Why people act the way they do • How instinctive responses can exacerbate the situation—and what to do instead • When to confront a problem and when to walk away • How to use a range of proven techniques including Time Travel, the Fish-bowl, and the Belly Roll • And much more You can’t reason with unreasonable people—but you can reach them. This powerful and practical book shows you how.

Rainey was born during the great depression in a rural country in Arkansas. She was born of a sickly, prostitute mother, who lived with a grandmother on a small, hard scrabble piece of farmland. Their situation was so dire, with the mother knowing she had not long to live, and the grandmother too old to attempt to raise a child under such difficult circumstances, the mother reluctantly offers Rainey up for adoption. (This was not uncommon during the depression when children were shunted off to relatives or neighbors.) Given first to another farm family, which by today's standards would be considered dysfunctional, she runs away at the age of six. She eventually ends up with a group of women, mostly old-maid schoolteachers, who make some attempt to restore a degree of normalcy to the child's life. This is the nearest thing to a functional family she would ever know, but an unfortunate and ill-advised wartime marriage, once again, turns her on the wrong road of life. She goes through a series of misfortunes, including a jail term, before she eventually meets the love of her life. But once again, fate is cruel to her because he is married. She has an illegitimate child by him and, knowing he cannot marry her, leaves him with no forwarding address. She returns to the area of her childhood, where he, now single, eventually finds her, and in true romance fashion, they are brought together and supposedly live happily-ever-after.

Overcome Lifes Challenges! New Book a Fascinating Account of Triumph Over Adversity Lamirada, CA (Release Date TBD) Are lifes challenges getting the better of you? Do you need helpful tips in overcoming them? In Ethel M. Gardners new book, A Mothers Cry, you will find the enlightenment you have been searching for. Drawing heavily from her personal experiences, Gardner dispenses helpful tips in overcoming lifes trials and tribulations. The book portrays the life of the main character, Ethel, in a beautifully written narrative that will capture the readers hearts. She is a woman of strength and courage, sometimes coming across as witty in overcoming her obstacles. She is placed in a position where choices must be madefrom challenges during her childhood, the tragic loss of her only son, and dealing with peace within by giving into a Christlike life. A Mothers Cry, at once emotionally charged and utterly insightful, chronicles how one woman struggled with lifes ordeals and how she made meaning of her life through her experiences. It is a compelling tale of triumph over adversity that will bring readers to new heights of inspirationa rare treat for the soul! About the Author Ethel M. Gardner is a woman of unusual force, integrity and great ability. She is a prophetess, teacher, activist, author and counselor. She comes from the humblest of backgrounds, a background of great challenges that served as a vehicle to great determination and a refusal to settle for less then Gods best. Her hard work and desire for spiritual knowledge led her to higher heights in the Christian faith. Ms. Gardner is the second of ten children and the mother of three. She fell into the role of motherhood and assumed the responsibility for the care of the rest of her siblings at a very young age when she lost her own mother. Her acts of compassion, courage, and bravery won her admiration and respect from both her family and her peers. She has always been one who, once she makes up her mind, is determined and will not allow obstacles stand in her way. She finds a way around, over, or sometimes through them. Determined to leave a legacy to her family, Ms. Gardner established the Kennedy Austin Development Center on March 10, 1998. As president, her motto was: Family helping families heal through the impossible. A Mothers Cry * By Ethel M. Gardner Publication Date: October 8, 2004 Trade Paperback; $20.99; 173 pages; 1-4134-5350-3 * Cloth Hardback; $30.99; 173 pages; 1-4134-5351-1 To request a complimentary paperback review copy, contact the publisher at (888) 795-4274 x. 476. Tearsheets may be sent by regular or electronic mail to Jia Wang. To purchase copies of the book for resale, please fax Xlibris at (215) 923-4685. Xlibris is a strategic partner of Random House Ventures, LLC, and a subsidiary of Random House, Inc. Xlibris books can be purchased in any major bookstore, or online at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Borders or Xlibris. For more information, contact Xlibris at (888) 795-4274 or on the web at www.Xlibris.com.

A story is just the formation of words used to paint the picture of an event. My story is not any different. Each word used, is full of emotions, with hopes of painting a portrait of LOVE. I always heard people say, Its better to have LOVED and lost than not to have LOVED at all. And at times, I was completely in agreement with this. Well that was until I LOVED and lost and was never able to LOVE again. I cant blame LOVE for this, but I can blame me. In order to remove the stain that guilt has left on the remaining pieces of my heart, I painted this picture, with my words, in hopes that you will end up appreciating the gift of LOVE.

The perfect anti-valentine: a whirlwind tour through love’s most crushing moments What’s the best way to mend a broken heart? Forget ice cream, wine, and sappy movies. Journalist Meghan Laslocky advises: Read through the pain. From forbidden love in 12th century Paris to the art of crafting the perfect “I’m over you” mix, The Little Book of Heartbreak is a quirky exploration of all things lovelorn, including: • How serial cheater Ernest Hemingway stole his wife’s job just as their marriage was collapsing • Kinky spells cast by lovesick men in ancient Greece • Painter Oscar Kokoschka’s attempt to get over an ex by creating (and having liaisons with!) her life-size replica • Brooding crooner Morrissey’s personal creed about how romantic love is useless • The surprising science behind heartbreak and love addiction • The connection between World War II and what you talk about with your therapist • Insights into the tricky chemistry of monogamy and infidelity, courtesy of tiny rodents • And other lessons learned from ill-fated romances, lovers’ quarrels, and hell-hath-no-fury spats throughout the ages Featuring anecdotes from history, literature, culture, art and music, The Little Book of Heartbreak shares the entertaining, empowering and occasionally absurd things that happen when love is on its last legs.