Breaking The Mother Son Dynamic

Therapists and the general public are familiar with the terms "(s)mothering," "helicopter moms," and "boomerang sons" because they have been popularized in films like Monster in Law, Cyrus and Failure to Launch—but what makes for humorous fodder onscreen depicts a troubling issue that's being played out for real in therapists' offices, bedrooms, and divorce courts across the nation: an epidemic of men who are enmeshed in unhealthy, energy-sucking, and emasculating relationships with their mothers. Even though these men are grown and living away from Mom, her influence has left them unable to fully commit or to fully love, and they are plagued with anger issues, indecisiveness, depression, or toxic stress. In Breaking the Mother-Son Dynamic, John Lee takes an eye-opening look at how a mother's love or lack thereof impacts a son's life choices and life partner or lovers. Perhaps you are one of these men (or maybe you recognize these behaviors in the man you love). Do you hold back, swallow, or bottle up things you wish you could say to your mother for fear it would upset or "kill" her? Did you grow up hearing negative things about men, masculinity, being a male, and how you shouldn't be like 'the rest of them'? Does your mother, or did she, fail to respect your boundaries as a child, adolescent, or adult? Does your mother keep referring to you as her "baby" or her "little boy" even after you became an adult? If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, you may be caught in an unhealthy mother-son dynamic that is negatively affecting key areas of your life. Several years ago, John Lee wrote what came to be the most authoritative book on why men run from relationships, The Flying Boy: Healing the Wounded Man. Here, he visits the mother-son relationship and gently but assertively shows men how to separate from the mother energy that has a massive pull on their hearts and souls, no matter how young or old they may be. In a work that is a combination of memoir, self-help psychology, recovery and personal growth, he discovers: why a relationship of 50-50 responsibility doesn't work, and what does work; how men can stop "sonning" mothers, lovers, and wives; why one must learn his or her own "rhythm of closeness"; how to be really present to those we love and to life itself; and much, much more. Using case studies, personal stories, and assessments, the book helps men release any anger and grief toward their mothers and teaches them how to take responsibility for their adult selves; most importantly, Lee provides an understanding of what healthy adults should—and shouldn't—expect from each other. Lee shows wives and girlfriends how to stop being their man's surrogate mother and shows well-meaning mothers how certain behaviors may perpetuate an unhealthy cycle and how to better relate to their sons in healthier ways. By helping mothers and sons identify this dynamic and providing them with the tools to dismantle it, this book will change lives. For anyone who is ready to make a clean, clear, and guilt-free separation from the kind of (s)mothering and "sonning" that just hasn't worked, John Lee will show them the way.

The way we were mothered--or not mothered--imprints us with patterns. These patterns have tremendous impact on us as lovers, partners, and parents, and have the power to create or destroy our bodies, minds, and relationships. Only by becoming aware of this dynamic in ourselves and in those we love can we release ourselves from their influences.

When a Woman Is in an Emotional Tug-of-War for Her Man's Heart Why can't he commit? Many women find themselves asking this question when in love with a man who won't get married, won't stop womanizing, or refuses to give up his sex addictions. Often this kind of man is bound by an unhealthy attachment to his mother. This phenomenon is called "mother-son enmeshment." In When He's Married to Mom, clinical psychologist and renowned intimacy expert Dr. Kenneth M. Adams goes beyond the stereotypes of momma's boys and meddling mothers to explain how mother-son enmeshment affects everyone: the mother, the son, and the woman who loves him. In his twenty-five years of practice, Dr. Adams has successfully treated hundreds of enmeshed men and shares their stories in this informative guide. He provides proven methods to make things better, including: -- Guidelines to help women create fulfilling relationships with mother-enmeshed men -- Tools to help mother-enmeshed men have healthy and successful dating experiences leading to serious relationships and marriage -- Strategies to help parents avoid enmeshing their children When He's Married to Mom provides practical and compassionate advice to the women who are involved with mother-enmeshed men, to the mothers who wish to set them free, and to the men themselves.

A record of one man's journey to find his "true masculinity" and his way out of co-dependent and addictive relationships. It's a book for all men and women who grew up in dysfunctional families and are now ready for some fresh insights into their past and their pain. It's a story about feelings - losing them, finding them and finally expressing them. Here you will find people you know; will discover a way out of the pain and see that it really is OK to express yourself without fear. The book is about grieving, a very misunderstood process often confused with self-pity. Open the doors to understanding - men will understand themselves and each other, and women will more deeply understand men, learn how to be with wounded men and still take care of themselves.

From the New York Times best-selling author of Love & Respect comes the definitive book for mothers and sons. Love is important, but it is respect that is the key to your son’s heart. Dads and their boys are often best buddies. But what's the key to a successful and healthy mother-son bond? Informed by relevant scripture and up-to-date psychological research, Emerson Eggerichs, Ph.D., explores this foundational relationship to show how loving and respecting your little boy can help him grow into a mature, responsible, and godly man. The idea of moms respecting their sons may sound strange to some. It's easy to recognize that little girls need dad’s love, but who is strongly promoting the truth that little boys (and big ones) need mom's respect? In Mothers & Sons: The Respect Effect, readers will discover: Why respect matters in a mother-son relationship A method based on the testimonies of thousands of mothers Specific responses that can be given instead of how you would “normally” respond Practical applications, especially for parenting teen boys Just as Emerson Eggerichs transformed millions of marital relationships with a biblical understanding of love and respect, you can apply these same principles to transform your relationship with your son. Mother & Son is also available in Spanish, Madre e hijo.

A delicately rendered memoir on motherhood, family, and the beauty of the natural world. In fall 2007, Lynn Thomson experiences a huge life shift. Her teenage son, Yeats, is just beginning high school. Yeats has always struggled against the system, against the pressure to conform. He is a poet at heart: acutely sensitive, highly intelligent, and solitary by nature. Lynn and Yeats have always been close, but after fourteen years as a stay-at-home mom Lynn is going back to work for her husband, Ben, who has just opened his own bookstore. When Lynn and Yeats take a trip to Vancouver Island, they discover a mutual love of bird watching. Lynn is the only other person Yeats has found who loves nature and watching birds. Plus, she has a car. Lynn describes in wondrous detail the many trips she and Yeats take, from the Wye Marsh and Pelee Island in Ontario, to Vancouver Island in British Columbia, to an ill-fated trip to the Galapagos Islands. The two grow closer with each bird-watching expedition. At the same time, Lynn notices that her son is beginning to pull away — and she must learn to let go. Birding with Yeats is a delicate, sensitive, and gentle reflection on the unique bond between a mother and son, and the magic that is the natural world.

A resource for daughters of mothers with narcissistic personality disorder explains how to manage feelings of inadequacy and abandonment in the face of inappropriate maternal expectations and conditional love, in a step-by-step guide that shares recommendations for creating a personalized program for self-protection and recovery. 50,000 first printing.

PARENTING NEVER ENDS. From the founders of the #1 site for parents of teens and young adults comes an essential guide for building strong relationships with your teens and preparing them to successfully launch into adulthood The high school and college years: an extended roller coaster of academics, friends, first loves, first break-ups, driver’s ed, jobs, and everything in between. Kids are constantly changing and how we parent them must change, too. But how do we stay close as a family as our lives move apart? Enter the co-founders of Grown and Flown, Lisa Heffernan and Mary Dell Harrington. In the midst of guiding their own kids through this transition, they launched what has become the largest website and online community for parents of fifteen to twenty-five year olds. Now they’ve compiled new takeaways and fresh insights from all that they’ve learned into this handy, must-have guide. Grown and Flown is a one-stop resource for parenting teenagers, leading up to—and through—high school and those first years of independence. It covers everything from the monumental (how to let your kids go) to the mundane (how to shop for a dorm room). Organized by topic—such as academics, anxiety and mental health, college life—it features a combination of stories, advice from professionals, and practical sidebars. Consider this your parenting lifeline: an easy-to-use manual that offers support and perspective. Grown and Flown is required reading for anyone looking to raise an adult with whom you have an enduring, profound connection.