Buttheads From Outer Space

The buttheads have landed—and they're trying to wipe us out! My best friend Lloyd and I had the perfect plan. We started a blog to invite aliens to come to Earth and hang out—but only with us. That way, they wouldn't have to meet any boring world leaders or get cut open by scientists or anything like that. We'd just chill out, eat junk food, and play video games together. Sweet, right? And it worked! Two aliens showed up one night in the bathroom of my favorite restaurant, and we snuck them home to my room. The problem is, they're total buttheads! Literally. They have butts on their heads, and they talk in farts. They're rude, disgusting, and they love Earth so much, they just invited 70 billion of their friends to join them here. Oops. Now it's up to us—two sixth graders with B-pluses in science—to save the planet from the sickest extraterrestrials in the universe. (Preferably without my parents finding out.) Sorry, everyone. Better get used to talking out of your butts, because we're all probably doomed…

Holden, you have sunk to a new low. Making fun of Maddie's beloved Snow White has changed the story and led to the Wicked Queen triumphing. If you and Maddie don't stop arguing, the prince will never marry Snow White and, more importantly, you'll never go home to the real world! Heigh-ho, heigh-ho, it's off to fix the fairy tale you go!

As a teenager growing up in the 1980s, all Jerry Mahoney wanted was a nice, normal sham marriage: 2.5 kids and a frustrated, dissatisfied wife living in denial of her husband s sexuality. Hey, why not? It seemed much more attainable and fulfilling than the alternative coming out of the closet and making peace with the fact that he d never have a family at all. Twenty years later, Jerry is living with his long-term boyfriend, Drew, and they re ready to take the plunge into parenthood. But how? Adoption? Foster parenting? Kidnapping? What they want most of all is a great story to tell their future kid about where he or she came from. Their search leads them to gestational surrogacy, a road less traveled where they ll be borrowing a stranger s ladyparts for nine months. Thus begins Jerry and Drew s hilarious and unexpected journey to daddyhood. From then on, they re in uncharted waters. They re forced to face down homophobic baby store clerks, a hospital that doesn t know what to do with them, even members of their own family who think what they re doing is a little nutty. One thing s for sure. If this all works out, they re going to have an incredible birth story to tell their kid. With honesty, emotion, and laugh-out-loud humor, Jerry Mahoney ponders what it means to become a Mommy Man . . . and discovers that the answer is as varied and beautiful as the concept of family itself."

“Stephen Baxter has been heralded, with some merit, as Arthur C. Clarke’s literary heir, and Proxima certainly reinforces this accolade in spades.”—Concatenation Mankind’s future in this galaxy could be all but infinite. There are hundreds of billions of red dwarf stars, lasting trillions of years—and their planets can be habitable for humans. Such is the world of Proxima Centauri. And its promise could mean the never-ending existence of humanity. But first it must be colonized, and no one wants to be a settler. There is no glamor that accompanies it, nor is there the ease of becoming a citizen of an already-tamed world. There is only hardship...loneliness...emptiness, even as war brews in the solar system. But that’s where Yuri comes in. Because sometimes exploration isn’t voluntary. It must be coerced.

Specialist Amanda Sumner is one of the first to make contact on the Earth-like planet Harp and discovers she's the only Earthling, who can hear the trees sing in the strange forest. Determined to remain and learn more of the planet’s secrets, Amanda sets out to become part of the elite Guild there... But there is a secret involving some Guild members—one that could get her killed. Shifter Rhodry de Mendoza wants the Earthlings off his planet before they destroy it—even if that means denying what he feels for the fierce and lovely Amanda. The pair is thrown together in what becomes a fight for their lives. And they might just lose everything—including each other—in their battle for the right to live in peace. Each book in the Shifter Planet series is STANDALONE: * Shifter Planet * Shifter Planet: The Return

Beavis and Butt-head of MTV fame are featured in this collection.

In Pittacus Lore’s The Rise of Nine, third in the New York Times bestselling I Am Number Four series, the stakes are higher than ever as John, Six, and Seven try desperately to find the rest of the Garde before it’s too late. The Mogadorians who destroyed the planet Lorien continue to hunt down the Garde, the small group of Loric survivors who have taken refuge on Earth. The Garde must come together. They are Lorien and Earth’s only hope. During the dangerous mission at the Mogadorian base in West Virginia, John found and rescued Nine. But even with their combined powers, special abilities known as Legacies, the pair barely escaped with their lives—and they lost Sam in the process. In order to save our world and their own, John and Nine must join forces with Six and Seven who have been battling the Mogadorians in Spain, and who are now trying to locate Number Eight in India. Power in numbers will save us all.

First Published in 1999. Routledge is an imprint of Taylor & Francis, an informa company.