Coaching With Empathy

This ground-breaking book will give you the skills you need to become an advanced coach. For many years, executive coaching assumed that feelings had no place at work, or in the coaching relationship. Fearful of getting into therapy, coaches ignored emotions at the expense of focusing on solutions too soon. Neuroscience is now showing us that emotion is the dominant part of the human brain and as coaches we can only ignore this at our peril. Everything in coaching is about trust between coach and client, and the only way to create trust is through skilled and sustained empathy. Coaching with Empathy explains what empathy is, why it matters so much in coaching and what can go wrong when it's missing. Coaches who can use the skill of empathy, in the moment, have in their hands a powerful tool to nurture change in their clients. Anne Brockbank and Ian McGill provide an easily followed guide about how to create empathy and sustain it with clients, before asking them to think rationally about a solution. This timely book also gives practical and sensible guidance on how to avoid getting out of your depth, working within the boundaries of your skill and knowledge.

We live in a time when empathy is not only lacking but on the decline. Kids are bullied because of the color of their skin, religion, culture, a disability and more. Bullying and cyberbullying are increasing, especially for black and brown kids, LGBT youth, and Jewish and Muslim youth. Fueled by decreases in respect, kindness, and compassion, the house is on fire! Empathy may be not be a cure-all, but just a little effort can transform a child into a more sensitive, caring human being. The good news is that empathy – the ability to “walk in someone else’s shoes” – can be taught. This book is all about teaching adults to teach empathy to kids. The payoff will last a lifetime. In this helpful guide, parents, caregivers and teachers are coached to help their children and students to develop social-emotional skills that will equip them to better navigate the world with self-compassion and empathetic concern. The Empathy Advantage is for the busiest parents and educators. It provides tips, strategies, online resources, and activities that are fun and engaging and take just 10 to 20 minutes. It emphasizes the importance of starting early, being good role models, spending quality face-to-face time together, and more. It will help readers understand the dynamics of bullying and teach children to stand up not only for themselves but others. And it explores other topics including managing media in the home, the value of pets in inculcating empathy, active listening, and self-compassion – i.e. being as forgiving and kind to yourself as you would to a friend.

You're trying to help--but is it working? Helping others is a good thing. Often, as a leader, manager, doctor, teacher, or coach, it's central to your job. But even the most well-intentioned efforts to help others can be undermined by a simple truth: We almost always focus on trying to "fix" people, correcting problems or filling the gaps between where they are and where we think they should be. Unfortunately, this doesn't work well, if at all, to inspire sustained learning or positive change. There's a better way. In this powerful, practical book, emotional intelligence expert Richard Boyatzis and Weatherhead School of Management colleagues Melvin Smith and Ellen Van Oosten present a clear and hopeful message. The way to help someone learn and change, they say, cannot be focused primarily on fixing problems, but instead must connect to that person's positive vision of themselves or an inspiring dream or goal they've long held. This is what great coaches do--they know that people draw energy from their visions and dreams, and that same energy sustains their efforts to change, even through difficult times. In contrast, problem-centered approaches trigger physiological responses that make a person defensive and less open to new ideas. The authors use rich and moving real-life stories, as well as decades of original research, to show how this distinctively positive mode of coaching—what they call "coaching with compassion"--opens people up to thinking creatively and helps them to learn and grow in meaningful and sustainable ways. Filled with probing questions and exercises that encourage self-reflection, Helping People Change will forever alter the way all of us think about and practice what we do when we try to help.

This groundbreaking parenting guide offers a practical five-step process for teaching children to understand and regulate their emotions. Every parent knows the importance of equipping children with the intellectual skills they need to succeed in school and life. But children also need to master their emotions. Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child is a guide to teaching children of all ages to understand and regulate their emotional world. As acclaimed psychologist John Gottman shows, emotionally intelligent children will enjoy increased self-confidence, greater physical health, better performance in school, and healthier social relationships. Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child will equip parents with a five-step “emotion coaching” process that teaches how to: -Be aware of a child’s emotions -Recognize emotional expression as an opportunity for intimacy and teaching -Listen empathetically and validate a child’s feelings -Label emotions in words a child can understand -Help a child come up with an appropriate way to solve a problem or deal with an upsetting issue or situation

Become a more effective leader by discovering the resources you already have Pamela McLean, CEO and cofounder of the Hudson Institute for Coaching, has been at the forefront of the field for the past three decades, using clinical and organizational psychology to provide the highest-quality coaching and development training to professionals in organizations and solo practice worldwide. Now, Pamela is teaching readers to cultivate their leadership potential through “use of self as instrument,” a key dimension of developmental coaching that emphasizes the whole person. Her holistic methods give coaches and other leaders a clearer framework for getting to know themselves, exploring their multiple layers, and fostering their latent abilities so that they can foster the abilities of others. Self as Coach guides you along a path that interweaves six broad dimensions of your internal landscape into the fabric of great coaching. This creates lasting improvements, unlike more common remedial, tactical, or performance-based programs, which often only function as short-term solutions. Develop leadership skills using internal resources you already possess Achieve real improvements with long-lasting benefits Based on methodology proven successful in business and personal settings Includes useful practices and exercises for self-reflection and brainstorming Whether you’re an emerging or experienced coach, whether you want to grow your own leadership skills or develop them across an entire organization, Self as Coach can help. With its innovative approach, proven methods, and near-universal applicability, this book will not only provide effective instruction but also help you uncover lasting insights that will benefit you long after you’ve turned the last page.

Are you a good listener? How well do you really know the people around you? A capacity for empathic understanding is hard-wired in our brains, but its full expression involves particular listening skills that are seldom learned through ordinary experience. Through clear explanation, specific examples, and practical exercises, Dr. Miller offers a step-by-step process for developing your skillfulness in empathic listening. With a solid basis in sixty years of scientific research, these communication skills are not limited to professionals, and can be learned and applied in your everyday life. Instead of assuming that you know the meaning of what you think you heard, empathic listening lets you develop a more accurate understanding and prevent miscommunication. Empathic understanding can help to deepen personal relationships, alleviate conflict, communicate across differences, and promote positive change. The author also discusses skills for expressing yourself clearly, and for strengthening close relationships and friendships. Through empathic understanding you have access to life experience far beyond your own, and over time, listening well and deeply becomes a way of being, fostering a compassionate and patient acceptance of human frailties--those of others as well as your own.

Empathy is credited as a factor in improved relationships and even better product development. But while it’s easy to say “just put yourself in someone else’s shoes,” the reality is that understanding the motivations and emotions of others often proves elusive. This book helps you understand what empathy is, why it’s important, how to surmount the hurdles that make you less empathetic—and when too much empathy is just too much. This volume includes the work of: Daniel Goleman Annie McKee Adam Waytz This collection of articles includes “What Is Empathy?” by Daniel Goleman; “Why Compassion Is a Better Managerial Tactic Than Toughness” by Emma Seppala; “What Great Listeners Actually Do” by Jack Zenger and Joseph Folkman; “Empathy Is Key to a Great Meeting” by Annie McKee; “It’s Harder to Empathize with People If You’ve Been in Their Shoes” by Rachel Rutton, Mary-Hunter McDonnell, and Loran Nordgren; “Being Powerful Makes You Less Empathetic” by Lou Solomon; “A Process for Empathetic Product Design” by Jon Kolko; “How Facebook Uses Empathy to Keep User Data Safe” by Melissa Luu-Van; “The Limits of Empathy” by Adam Waytz; and “What the Dalai Lama Taught Daniel Goleman About Emotional Intelligence” an interview with Daniel Goleman by Andrea Ovans. How to be human at work. The HBR Emotional Intelligence Series features smart, essential reading on the human side of professional life from the pages of Harvard Business Review. Each book in the series offers proven research showing how our emotions impact our work lives, practical advice for managing difficult people and situations, and inspiring essays on what it means to tend to our emotional well-being at work. Uplifting and practical, these books describe the social skills that are critical for ambitious professionals to master.

It's time for a new vision of leadership, one with more heart, more connection, more honesty, and deeper vulnerability. Whether you have been newly promoted to a leadership position or have been in the seat for many years, there is something for everyone in this book. You may have noticed that employing the same skills and tactics you used in your role as a team member now that you're a leader has left you with some major bumps and bruises. You may even fail at leadership. But this book is here to help you succeed as a leader. It will challenge you to learn new skills, dare you to try new approaches, and demand that you open up to vulnerability like you've probably never done. After all, we don't get anywhere new by doing the same old things! A few of the topics explored are: Move from a "do-er" to a "lead-er." Be flexible, yet strong. Open, yet focused. Care about results and care about people simultaneously. Talk the talk; walk the walk. Mistakes are necessary - fail forward. There is no such things as over-communication! Reading this book is the first step in your journey to becoming a more effective leader that will touch every aspect of your life.