Constructive Wallowing

“Constructive wallowing” seems like an oxymoron. Constructive is a good thing, but wallowing is bad. Right? But wait a minute; is it really so terrible to give ourselves a time-out to feel our feelings? Or is it possible that wallowing is an act of loving kindness, right when we need it most? Just about everyone loves the idea of self-compassion -- the notion that maybe in spite of our messy emotions and questionable behavior, we really aren’t all that bad. In recent years there’s been an explosion of books that encourage readers to stop beating themselves up for being human, which is terrific. Unfortunately, readers who aren’t interested in Buddhism or meditation have been left out in the cold. Self-compassion is an everyday habit that everyone can learn, even if they a) aren't particularly spiritual, b) find most books about self-compassion too serious, or else c) have already overdosed on meditation. Constructive Wallowing: How to Beat Bad Feelings by Letting Yourself Have Them is the first book to cut right to the chase, bypassing descriptions of Eastern philosophy and meditation techniques to teach readers exactly how to accept and feel their feelings with self-compassion for greater emotional health and well-being … while making them laugh from time to time. It seems that the wisdom of “keeping your friends close and your enemies closer” applies to emotions as well as people. It’s tempting to turn away from menacing, uncomfortable feelings like anger, grief or regret and treat them like unwanted guests; however, ignoring them just seems to make them stick around. They lurk in the background like punks with switchblades, waiting to pounce as soon as they see an opening. By learning to accept and embrace, rather than suppress, difficult feelings, people can keep their sense of personal power and, better yet, gain greater understanding and ultimately esteem for themselves. Feeling bad can actually lead to feeling better, faster!

Presents advice for dealing with self-critical thoughts and negative emotions about the past, along with techniques for developing self-compassion and a more positive outlook.

Parents whose adult children have cut off contact wonder: How did this happen? Where did I go wrong? What happened to my loving child? Over time, holidays, birthdays, and even the birth of grandchildren may pass in silence. Anguish may turn into anger. While time, in and of itself, does not necessarily heal, actions do, and while every estrangement includes situation-specific variables, there are practical, effective, and universal techniques for understanding and healing these not-uncommon breaches. Psychotherapist Tina Gilbertson has developed these techniques and tools over years of face-to-face and online work with parents, who have found her strategies transformative and even life-changing. Gilbertson cuts through the blame, shame, and guilt on both sides of the broken relationship. Parents will feel heard and understood but also challenged — and guided — to reclaim their role as"tone setter" and grow psychologically. Exercises, examples, and sample scripts empower parents who have felt powerless. Gilbertson shows that reconciliation is a step-by-step process, but the effort is well worth it. It is never too late to renew relations and experience better-than-ever bonds.

An insatiable need for sex and love. Periods of overeating or starving. A pattern of unstable and painful relationships. Does this sound painfully familiar? Trauma counselor Kelly McDaniel has seen these traits over and over in clients who feel trapped in cycles of harmful behaviors-and are unable to stop. Many of us find ourselves stuck in unhealthy habits simply because we don't see a better way. With Mother Hunger, McDaniel helps women break the cycle of destructive behavior by taking a fresh look at childhood trauma and its lasting impact. In doing so, she destigmatizes the shame that comes with being under-mothered and misdiagnosed. McDaniel offers a healing path with powerful tools that include therapeutic interventions and lifestyle changes in service to healthy relationships. The constant search for mother love can be a lifelong emotional burden, but healing begins with knowing and naming what we are missing. McDaniel is the first clinician to identify Mother Hunger, which demystifies the search for love and provides the compass that each woman needs to end the struggle with achy, lonely emptiness, and come home to herself.

Parents whose adult children have cut off contact wonder: How did this happen? Where did I go wrong? What happened to my loving child? Over time, holidays, birthdays, and even the birth of grandchildren may pass in silence. Anguish may turn into anger. While time, in and of itself, does not necessarily heal, actions do, and while every estrangement includes situation-specific variables, there are practical, effective, and universal techniques for understanding and healing these not-uncommon breaches. Psychotherapist Tina Gilbertson has developed these techniques and tools over years of face-to-face and online work with parents, who have found her strategies transformative and even life-changing. Gilbertson cuts through the blame, shame, and guilt on both sides of the broken relationship. Parents will feel heard and understood but also challenged — and guided — to reclaim their role as “tone setter” and grow psychologically. Exercises, examples, and sample scripts empower parents who have felt powerless. Gilbertson shows that reconciliation is a step-by-step process, but the effort is well worth it. It is never too late to renew relations and experience better-than-ever bonds.

An accessible and clear-eyed handbook that offers fundamental tips, tools, and sanity-saving ideas to guide you through the seasons and help you better manage the mood-altering pressures of everyday life—“Try it. I took my blood pressure before and after. It dropped” (The New York Times). In the form of weekly journal entries over the course of a year, bestselling author, journalist, and mental health activist Rachel Kelly shares the fifty-two strategies that have helped her cope with depression and anxiety and maintain a calm, happy lifestyle. Walking on Sunshine requires no complicated program or an overhaul of your current way of life. These are simple shortcuts to lighter, more conscious living—tangible rituals you can use to care for your body and mind. In the pages of this engaging book, you’ll find breathing techniques, poetry, prayer, philosophical nuggets, and meditations, all of them gentle suggestions designed to bring more ease and equanimity into your daily life. Written in the candid, conversational style of a good friend and accompanied by delightful cartoon illustrations, Walking on Sunshine is a constant, supportive companion that will see you through your ups and downs.

ÿ101 Tips for Recovering from Addictionsÿcan help transform the life of any recovering addict from bleak to bright. These practical suggestions give hope, from seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, to realizing this light holds a promising future to reclaim. Readers will learn: How to keep hope and seek help, even in the darkest of daysHow to deal with the major monster of denialHow to plan to become consistently productiveHow to take care of your brain and body so that you're happier and healthierHow to routinely remember to never give upHow to push through and know that recovery can be realizedAnd much, much more"101 Tips for Recovering from Addictionsÿis a great resource, giving a simple, fun and easily digestible format to a treasure trove of accumulated wisdom from the Winners who have overcome addictions to have a happy and healthy life." --Sarah Graham, addiction expert and member of UK Advisory Council on the Misuse of Drugs (ACMD) "Having worked with people struggling with addictions for many years, I recognized many of the tools I regularly use among Rick Singer'sÿ101 Tips for Recovering from Addictionsÿ-- I know they work. Therefore, I can confidently recommend this little book as inspiration, and as a guide." --Bob Rich, Ph.D. author of several self-help and inspirational books "101 Tips for Recovering from Addictionsÿis a thoughtful, inspirational, must have for anyone in the addiction field or going through addiction themselves. Singer's own story is passionate, loving and realistic." --Mari Sweeting, Recovery Coach, Substance Abuse Counselor and DUI Instructor, Sonoma County, California "101 Tips for Recovering from Addictionsÿprovides a safe space, a space to learn tools that will encourage personal strength as you explore within and work to overcome your addiction. With this book and personal dedication you can move towards freedom." --Robin Marvel, author ofÿFraming a Family: Building a Foundation to Raise Confident Children Learn more at www.RickSingerBooks.com Self-Help: Substance Abuse & Addictions - General

Fascinating patient stories and dynamic exercises help you connect to healing emotions, ease anxiety and depression, and discover your authentic self. Sara suffered a debilitating fear of asserting herself. Spencer experienced crippling social anxiety. Bonnie was shut down, disconnected from her feelings. These patients all came to psychotherapist Hilary Jacobs Hendel seeking treatment for depression, but in fact none of them were chemically depressed. Rather, Jacobs Hendel found that they’d all experienced traumas in their youth that caused them to put up emotional defenses that masqueraded as symptoms of depression. Jacobs Hendel led these patients and others toward lives newly capable of joy and fulfillment through an empathic and effective therapeutic approach that draws on the latest science about the healing power of our emotions. Whereas conventional therapy encourages patients to talk through past events that may trigger anxiety and depression, accelerated experiential dynamic psychotherapy (AEDP), the method practiced by Jacobs Hendel and pioneered by Diana Fosha, PhD, teaches us to identify the defenses and inhibitory emotions (shame, guilt, and anxiety) that block core emotions (anger, sadness, fear, disgust, joy, excitement, and sexual excitement). Fully experiencing core emotions allows us to enter an openhearted state where we are calm, curious, connected, compassionate, confident, courageous, and clear. In It’s Not Always Depression, Jacobs Hendel shares a unique and pragmatic tool called the Change Triangle—a guide to carry you from a place of disconnection back to your true self. In these pages, she teaches lay readers and helping professionals alike • why all emotions—even the most painful—have value. • how to identify emotions and the defenses we put up against them. • how to get to the root of anxiety—the most common mental illness of our time. • how to have compassion for the child you were and the adult you are. Jacobs Hendel provides navigational tools, body and thought exercises, candid personal anecdotes, and profound insights gleaned from her patients’ remarkable breakthroughs. She shows us how to work the Change Triangle in our everyday lives and chart a deeply personal, powerful, and hopeful course to psychological well-being and emotional engagement.