Dead Babies

If the Marquis de Sade were to crash one of P. G. Wodehouse's house parties, the chaos might resemble the nightmarishly funny goings-on in this novel from "one of the most gifted novelists of his generation” (TIME). “Amis is a born comic novelist in the tradition that ranges from Dickens to Waugh.... [His] mercurial style…can rise to Joycean brilliance” —Newsweek "Amis's version of the bleak and wrecky future that awaits a sex-and-drug-addicted society is...fizzing with style, [and] busy with verbal inventiveness." —Julian Barnes, best-selling author of The Sense of an Ending The residents of Appleseed Rectory have primed themselves both for a visit from a triad of Americans and a weekend of copious drug taking and sexual gymnastics. There's even a heifer to be slugged and a pair of doddering tenants to be ingeniously harassed. But none of these variously bright and dull young things has counted on the intrusion of "dead babies"—dreary spasms of reality. Or on the uninvited presence of a mysterious prankster named Johnny, whose sinister idea of fun makes theirs look like a game of backgammon.

Sandy was killed in a tragic fire. Beth was poisoned with a pacifier. Tracey got into mom's psychedelic drugs. Gunther died of sepsis. Thanks to bed bugs. Jackson was left to die in an alley. A tornado is what killed baby Sally. Sean was killed in a massive car crash. Tony died of measles. They thought it was a rash. Sonia fell asleep on the tracks. A nuclear explosion is what killed Max. Jenny took too many of dads sleeping pills. Sammy was sold for his organs. To cover dad's bills Fiona was left to die in an abandoned house falling into the pool. That's what killed Klause.

When Alice Jolly's second child was stillborn and all subsequent attempts to have another baby failed, she began to consider every possible option, no matter how unorthodox. Shot through with humour and full of hope, Dead Babies and Seaside Towns is an intensely personal account of the search for an alternative way to create a family. As she battles through miscarriage, IVF and failed adoption attempts, Alice finds comfort in the faded charm of Britain's crumbling seaside towns. The journey ultimately leads her and her husband to a small town in Minnesota, and to two remarkable women who offer to make the impossible possible. In this beautifully written book, Alice Jolly describes with a novelist's skill the events that many others have lived through – even if they may feel compelled to keep them hidden. Her decision not to hide but to share them, without a trace of self-pity, turns Dead Babies and Seaside Towns into a universal story: one that begins in tragedy but ends in joy.

What Does Dead Mean? is a beautifully illustrated book that guides children gently through 17 of the 'big' questions they often ask about death and dying. Questions such as 'Is being dead like sleeping?', 'Why do people have to die?' and 'Where do dead people go?' are answered simply, truthfully and clearly to help adults explain to children what happens when someone dies. Prompts encourage children to explore the concepts by talking about, drawing or painting what they think or feel about the questions and answers. Suitable for children aged 4+, this is an ideal book for parents and carers to read with their children, as well as teachers, therapists and counsellors working with young children.

Sick, twisted and totally wrong. The Ultimate Dead Baby Joke Book is 100% all new jokes for 2011! The Ultimate Dead Baby Joke Book has everything and then some. Celebrities, Government Officials, Corporations, no one is safe from this outrageous parody of grotesqueness that is strewn thru the pages of this hilarious book. It has everything inside you could ever need when dealing with a dead baby. It has survival tactics, recipes, sex tips, storing tips, eating tips and last but not least, what to do when the police find you with a dead baby! Everything and anything you could possibly think of to do with a dead baby is in the pages of this book. It answers all of the deep questions below and then some! How many dead babies do you need to throw at a bear to keep it from attacking you? What's the perfect time to serve dead baby to your family? How many dead babies can you give to your lover on Valentines Day? When is the Government going to finish their cybernetic dead baby robot fighting competition and will it save the economy? What's the exchange rate for different dead babies in different countries? Which celebrities used dead babies for inspiration? How many dead babies helped write the Declaration of Independence? What did Albert Einstein do with a dead baby? Everything you ever wondered and needed to know about Dead Babies is answered in this book. This is is the guide you need. This is... The Ultimate Dead Baby Joke Book!

Are you a self-righteous political correctness crusader? Looking for the next big thing to get all outraged over? Do you plan on being highly offended by this book? Remember, just because you find dead baby jokes insensitive and offensive doesn't mean you have the right to ruin the fun for everyone else. Think of it this way: Just because you have a nut allergy, you don't get to ruin the Peanuts movie for everyone else. These are just jokes. Terribly tasteless jokes. But just jokes nonetheless. You know, Freedom of Speech and what not. No actual babies were harmed during the making of this book. So don't get your politically correct panties in a knot. Relax, take a deep breath, and allow yourself to laugh. I won't tell anybody what a sick puppy you are. It'll be our little secret. It's ok to laugh at terrible jokes. Really. (More about that at the end of this book.) Gaspirtz

If the Marquis de Sade were to crash one of P. G. Wodehouse's house parties, the chaos might resemble the nightmarishly funny goings-on in this novel from "one of the most gifted novelists of his generation” (TIME). “Amis is a born comic novelist in the tradition that ranges from Dickens to Waugh.... [His] mercurial style…can rise to Joycean brilliance” —Newsweek "Amis's version of the bleak and wrecky future that awaits a sex-and-drug-addicted society is...fizzing with style, [and] busy with verbal inventiveness." —Julian Barnes, best-selling author of The Sense of an Ending The residents of Appleseed Rectory have primed themselves both for a visit from a triad of Americans and a weekend of copious drug taking and sexual gymnastics. There's even a heifer to be slugged and a pair of doddering tenants to be ingeniously harassed. But none of these variously bright and dull young things has counted on the intrusion of "dead babies"—dreary spasms of reality. Or on the uninvited presence of a mysterious prankster named Johnny, whose sinister idea of fun makes theirs look like a game of backgammon.

Meera was trapped underneath the ice. Sam had a fatal accident falling off his bike. Kurt was chewed up and eaten by his dog. Digging through the trash is how we lost doug. Mark slipped and fell on a fresh wet floor. Death by electrocution killed baby thor. Ava died choking on her favorite toy. A botched surgery caused the death of this boy. Mandeep was killed in a big house fire. This girl was crushed underneath a car tire. Theo drank too much household poison. Constipation and sepsis is how we lost royston. Mary died inside the washing machine. A leg hold trap ended the life of baby eugene. Alice was found in a puddle face down. Chuck crashed his car on his way downtown. Elaine fell down and cracked open her head. Nobody knows how dave wound up dead. Helen had a tragic fall down the back stairs. Suffocation by plastic bag is how we lost baby blair.