Diddly Squat

Pull on your wellies, grab your flat cap and join Jeremy Clarkson in this hilarious and fascinating behind-the-scenes look at the infamous Diddly Squat Farm THE NO. 1 SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER 'Brilliant . . . laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph 'Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches' Time Out _________ Welcome to Clarkson's farm. It's always had a nice ring to it. Jeremy just never thought that one day his actual job would be 'a farmer'. And, sadly, it doesn't mean he's any good at it. From buying the wrong tractor (Lamborghini, since you ask . . .) to formation combine harvesting, getting tied-up in knots of red tape to chasing viciously athletic cows, our hero soon learns that enthusiasm alone might not be enough. Jeremy may never succeed in becoming master of his land, but, as he's discovering, the fun lies in the trying . . . _________ 'Very funny . . . I cracked up laughing on the tube' Evening Standard Praise for Clarkson's Farm: 'The best thing Clarkson's done . . . it pains me to say this' GUARDIAN 'Shockingly hopeful' INDEPENDENT 'Even the most committed Clarkson haters will find him likeable here' TELEGRAPH 'Quite lovely' THE TIMES

The hilarious new collection of stories and observations from Jeremy Clarkson - setting our off-kilter world to rights with thigh-slapping wit once again. Who is that tractor-driving Gentleman Farmer? Has Jeremy turned into a horny-handed son of the soil? These and other perplexing questions may or may not be answered in the latest volume of Clarkson's utterly unbiased musings on life, the universe and everything in between (except cars - this isn't one of his four-wheel drive books). Inside you'll also discover why: · Bathing in crude oil isn't for everyone · People who go fishing hate their kids · Noise-cancelling headphones will never silence James May · The rambler who stole his marrow is in for it Full of fact-checked opinions and ideas so good they're no longer following the science but chasing it up a tree, Can You Make This Thing Go Faster? is one hundred per cent guaranteed Clarkson . . . Praise for Clarkson: 'Brilliant . . . laugh-out-loud' Daily Telegraph 'Outrageously funny . . . will have you in stitches' Time Out 'Very funny . . . I cracked up laughing on the tube' Evening Standard

"[Poppy’s] recipes are unshowy, unfussy (for all her Michelin training) and simply make you want to go skipping into the kitchen to cook."—Nigella Lawson, Nigella.com With Chef and TikTok sensation Poppy O’Toole you'll learn the basics, up your cooking game, with delicious results every time. This is a cookbook with no judgement. Together, we’ll learn how to make incredible food at home. We’ll start with the basics: 12 core recipes (or go-to skills) that everyone needs to know, like how to make a pasta sauce, roast a chicken or make a killer salad dressing. Then we’ll use these core skills as a base for delicious and adaptable recipes that will up your cooking game—the Staple, the Brunch, the Potato Hero (of course they make an appearance) and the Fancy AF. So, once you’ve nailed that classic tomato sauce (which I promise will become the new go-to in your kitchen), you can stir it through pasta, or bake it with eggs for the perfect Shakshuka and, before you know it, you’ll be getting real fancy and making a show-stopping Chicken Parmigiana to impress your friends. I'll walk you through 75 delicious recipes, including: White Sauce: think Mac and Cheese and Bacon-y Garlicky Gratin. Dough: easy flatbreads for Halloumi Avo Breads and Salmon Tikka wraps. Emulsions: Chicken Caesar Salad with homemade mayo and next level Steak Béarnaise with Hollandaise and Crunchy Roast Chips. Meringue: from Eton Mess Pancakes through to Simply the Zest Lemon Meringue Pie Whether you’re completely new to the kitchen or looking to elevate your basics with clever tricks, my step-by-step guidance will help you nail delicious food every time. As a Michelin-trained chef with over ten years’ experience in professional kitchens, I’ve done the years of training so you don’t have to. It’s okay to make a few mistakes along the way, and together, we'll help you fix them and achieve incredible results at home. I am passionate about the importance of great food at home, every day—it’s what we all deserve. This is not just the food you want. It’s the food you need.

• One of the world's greatest chess players reveals the secrets of how he plans his play • Packed with invaluable information on how to mobilise your forces, avoid threats and win the game • Illustrated with a wealth of annotated examples from the author's own games The legendary Anatoly Karpov has won over 250 Grandmaster tournaments, many more than any other player in chess history, and his games are characterised by his gradually and patiently pushing an opponent back to the wall, before finally finishing him off with a deadly blow. In this unique book, aimed at ordinary club players, Karpov gives a wealth of tips on how to incorporate this dramatic style of play into your own repertoire, through careful planning and evaluation of positions: looking at the fire-power of your forces, being aware of threats to your own king and how to safeguard it, and careful control of open lines. As he says himself: 'Finding the right plan is the key to success'. Warmily and accessibly written, but with Karpov's usual air of authority, this book makes you feel like you are spending an evening with the man himself, and will help you to absorb a little bit of the Karpov magic.

Volume 3 of the 'World According to Clarkson' series

Diddlysquat is something you may have never heard about. It is something you do not know, something others do not know, and something only God knows. In this book, you will discover many things that will amuse, befuddle, irritate, tickle, and astonish you. It is a book for trivia lovers, sports lovers (especially football), life lovers, love lovers, and church lovers--although that last one may not be on the positive side. There are many discoveries presented here that will simplify your understanding of many things unknown to you. Most of all, there are literary snippets that relate to life and what you believe in. Prepare to learn more about religion, life, and history--and sometimes laugh at the truths that are worded so well they can hurt you. Diddlysquat, by Wilkie Lee Jernigan, is work that is both entertaining and candid--painfully--in its every leaf. About the Author Wilkie Lee Jernigan was born in North Carolina but now lives in Virginia. He and his wife, Marie, have been in Chesapeake for the past eighteen years. Aside from his career in the Navy, he also worked for the postal service. Writing is something he does to occupy his time and this book is his first published work.

Computer programming is a good exercise for the mind, and it’s an essential skill that can serve anyone well into adulthood. In C Is for Children, author and engineer D. Michael Parrish introduces children to the C programming language. Parrish presents lessons that focus on the C keywords. C Is for Children discusses all thirty-two keywords of the C89 standard andprovides over twenty example programs, along with guidewordsand a thorough glossary. Designed for third-, fourth-, and fifth-gradestudents, this textbook is an easy-to-follow, step-by-step learning toolfor kids interested in writing their own programs. Praise for C Is for Children “D. Michael Parrish is the Dr. Seuss of the digital age.” —George Matsoukas, author “In a world of slavish conformity, this book is a refreshing, innovative, and entertaining contribution to children’s literature.” —Alex Bellas, EdD

Get tucked in to a third bestselling helping of Clarkson's Farm from our favourite wellie-wearing wannabe farmer, Jeremy Clarkson Welcome back to Clarkson's Farm. Since taking the wheel three years ago Jeremy's had his work cut out. And it's now clear from hard-won experience that, when it comes to farming, there's only one golden rule: Whatever you hope will happen, won't. Enthusiastic schemes to diversify have met with stubborn opposition from the red trouser brigade, defeat at the hands of Council Planning department, and predictable derision from Kaleb - although, to be fair, even Lisa had doubts about Jeremy's brilliant plan to build a business empire founded on rewilding and nettle soup. And only Cheerful Charlie is still smiling about the stifling amount of red tape that's incoming . . . But he charges by the hour. Then there are the animals: the sheep are gone; the cows have been joined by a rented bull called Break-Heart Maestro;. the pigs are making piglets; and the goats have turned out to be psychopaths. But despite the naysayers and (sometimes self-inflicted) setbacks, Jeremy remains irrepressibly optimistic about life at Diddly Squat. Because It's hard not to be when you get to harvest blackberries with a vacuum cleaner. And, after all, it shouldn't just be Break-heart Maestro who gets to enjoy a happy ending . . . Diddly Squat, Number 1 Sunday Times bestseller, October 2022