Difficult Mothers Understanding And Overcoming Their Power

An essential work for readers seeking compassionate, wise guidance about the powerful relationship between mothers and their sons and daughters. Mother love is often seen as sacred, but for many children the relationship is a painful struggle. Using the newest research on human attachment and brain development, Terri Apter, an internationally acclaimed psychologist and writer, unlocks the mysteries of this complicated bond. She showcases the five different types of difficult mother—the angry mother, the controlling mother, the narcissistic mother, the envious mother, and the emotionally neglectful mother—and explains the patterns of behavior seen in each type. Apter also explores the dilemma at the heart of a difficult relationship: why a mother has such a powerful impact on us and why we continue to care about her responses long after we have outgrown our dependence. She then shows how we can conduct an “emotional audit” on ourselves to overcome the power of the complex feelings a difficult mother inflicts. In the end this book celebrates the great resilience of sons and daughters of difficult mothers as well as acknowledging their special challenges.

“An empowering book . . . strategies for freeing yourself from the control of an unhealthy mother relationship.” —Susan Forward PhD, #1 New York Times–bestselling author of Toxic Parents For any adult daughter who struggles with a narcissistic, controlling, or otherwise difficult mother, here’s the good news: Your mother doesn't have to change in order for you to be happy. Inspired by her own journey, Karen C.L. Anderson shows women how to emotionally separate from their difficult mothers without guilt and anxiety, so they can finally create a life based on their own values, desires, needs, and preferences. With personal stories, practical tools, and journal prompts that can be used now to feel better. Anderson compassionately leads women struggling in their relationships with their difficult mothers through a process of self-awareness and understanding. Her experience with hundreds of women has resulted in cases of profound growth and transformation. This book is about Anderson discovering and accepting the whole of who she is (separate from her mother), and—in relatable, real, funny, and compassionate prose—making her discoveries accessible to women struggling to redefine their own challenging relationships with their mothers. Learn: · Why mothers and daughters can have difficult relationships · How to heal and transform your mother “wounds” · How to tell your stories in a way that empowers · How to handle the uncomfortable emotions that seem inevitable · The art of creating, articulating, and maintaining impeccable boundaries · How to stop “shouldering” How to “re-mother” yourself and acknowledge, honor, and meet your needs

BONUS: This edition contains an excerpt from Dr. Susan Forward's Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them. When you were a child... Did your parents tell you were bad or worthless? Did your parents use physical pain to discipline you? Did you have to take care of your parents because of their problems? Were you frightened of your parents? Did your parents do anything to you that had to be kept secret? Now that you are an adult... Do your parents still treat you as if you were a child? Do you have intense emotional or physical reactions after spending time with your parents? Do your parents control you with threats or guilt? Do they manipulate you with money? Do you feel that no matter what you do, it's never good enough for your parents? In this remarkable self-help guide, Dr. Susan Forward drawn on case histories and the real-life voices of adult children of toxic parents to help you free yourself from the frustrating patterns of your relationship with your parents -- and discover an exciting new world of self-confidence, inner strength, and emotional independence.

#1 New Release in Parent & Adult Child Relationships ─ Healing for Mothers and Daughters A compassionate guide: Karen C.L. Anderson is a storyteller, feminist, and speaker who views the world through the lens of curiosity and fascination. As a mother-daughter relationship expert, she gently guides readers through revealing painful patterns in their relationships to finding ultimate healing. Her book isn’t a quick fix. Rather, she writes to help mothers and daughters heal and either reconcile or peacefully separate. Tips and tools for healing: Anderson comes prepared in this book to offer readers practical advice for creating a healthier relationship. Her previous book, The Peaceful Daughter’s Guide to Separating from a Difficult Mother, was an international bestseller, and she offers new practical wisdom in this journal. From setting healthy boundaries to creating a new outlook, Anderson helps readers create peace in their troubled relationships. You’re not alone in the struggle: Studies suggest that nearly 30% of women have been estranged from their mothers at some point. It can be difficult to talk about the strain of mother and daughter relationships because they are so often glorified in our society as one of the most precious bonds. If anything, however, that makes them more important to talk about. Anderson’s book is ideal for mothers and daughters alike, whether they read it separately or together. Open it up and find: • Various prompts and practices for building a relationship around healthy interdependence rather than dysfunctional codependence • A way to transform things that create pain into a source of wisdom and creativity • An informative and intriguing self-care gift for women in the form of a healing journal Readers of self-help books such as Mothers Who Can’t Love, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, and Difficult Mothers, Adult Daughters will find a wonderful source of help and healing in Anderson’s The Difficult Mother-Daughter Relationship Journal.

A resource for daughters of mothers with narcissistic personality disorder explains how to manage feelings of inadequacy and abandonment in the face of inappropriate maternal expectations and conditional love, in a step-by-step guide that shares recommendations for creating a personalized program for self-protection and recovery. 50,000 first printing.

Are you an adult child of a narcissistic mother? Do you suspect your mother has Narcissistic Personality Disorder? Caroline Foster, an experienced life coach, will lead you into a painful path of awareness, but she will also give you concrete advice on how to handle your toxic mother and change your life for the better. If you read this book: You will discover all the reasons why your childhood was so traumatic. You will learn how to handle your narcissistic mother. You will discover all of the dysfunctional beliefs and habits that you developed during your childhood. You will learn how to contrast Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder symptoms. The issue of toxic mothers undeniably challenges the status quo in various ways, but most certainly needs to be addressed. Adult children of narcissistic parents are often plagued with such an abundance of guilt and sense of deep obligation and shame that it causes them to feel duty-bound to keep whatever happened in the family secret, even when it is destroying their lives. It's really difficult to share your experience in this case, because narcissists, and especially a narcissistic mother, can be very good at creating the perfect family image for outsiders looking in. The solution is not forgiving or forgetting. You should understand your situation and work on your self-development in order to take back control of your life. Book Contents RECOGNIZING THE PROBLEM What is Pathological Narcissism Inside the Mind of a Narcissist Types of Narcissism Overt Grandiose Narcissism Covert Narcissism Narcissistic Strategies of Manipulation How the narcissist controls you Pathological Narcissists as Parents Signs of Narcissistic Parenting THE NARCISSISTIC MOTHER Enablers (enabler father) The Narcissistic Mother and The Roles She Chooses for Her Children Types of Narcissistic Mothers Narcissistic Mothers and Their Sons Narcissistic Mothers and their Daughters Effects of narcissistic abuse on Adult Children SOLUTIONS Protect Yourself from Narcissistic Mother How to Handle a Narcissistic Mother If You Live with Her No Contact with Narcissistic Mother Taking Back Your Power Move Out from Toxic Environment: Practical Tips Caring for Aging Narcissistic Mother HEALING Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD) Emotional flashbacks Toxic Shame Self-abandonment Inner critic Social anxiety Self-healing Tips Even if you were born in the wrong place, and you grew up dealing with a narcissistic mother, you can leave the past behind and build a better future. It's never too late, let's start now!

“A book of great value for every daughter and every mother; useful for sons, too.”—Benjamin Spock, M.D. From the Introduction: The goal of this book is to help readers achieve that separation so that they can either find a way to be friends with their mothers, or at least recognize and accept that their mothers did the best they could—even if it wasn't “good enough”—and to stop blaming them. Among the issues to be covered: • To understand how a daughter's attachment to her mother—more so than her relationship with her father—colors all her other relationships, and to analyze why it is more difficult for daughters than sons to separate from their mothers, as well as why daughters are more subject than sons to a mother's manipulation • To recognize the difference between a healthy and a destructive mother-daughter connection, and to define clearly the “bad mommy,” in order to help readers who have trouble acknowledging their childhood losses to begin to comprehend them • To conjugate what I call the “Bad Mommy Taboo”—why our culture is more eager to protect the sanctity of maternity than it is to protect emotionally abused daughters • To describe the evolution of the "unpleasable" mother—in all likelihood, she was bereft of maternal love as a child—and to recognize the huge, and often poignant, stake she has in keeping her grown daughter dependent and off-balance • To illustrate the consequent controlling behavior—in some cases, cloaked in fragility or good intentions—of such mothers, which falls into general patterns, including: the Doormat, the Critic, the Smotherer, the Avenger, the Deserter • To understand that the daughter has a similar stake in either being a slave to or hating her mother—the two sides of her depen dency and immaturity • To illustrate the responsive behavior—and survival mechanisms —of daughters, which is determined in part by such variables as birth rank, family history, and temperament, and which also falls into patterns, including: the Angel, the Superachiever, the Cipher, the Troublemaker, the Defector • To show how to redefine the mother-daughter relationship, so that each can learn to see and accept the other as she is today, appreciating each other's good qualities and not being snared by the bad • Finally, to demonstrate that a redefined relationship with one's mother—adult to adult—frees you from the past, whether that re definition ultimately results in real friendship, affectionate truce, or divorce.

"Dan Neuharth's book demystifies much within our pasts that can hurt our intimate relationships in ways we may not even realize. If You Had Controlling Parents helps spark understanding and acceptance across generations." — John Gray, Ph.D., author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus Do you sometimes feel as if you are living your life to please others? Do you give other people the benefit of the doubt but second-guess yourself? Do you struggle with perfectionism, anxiety, lack of confidence, emotional emptiness, or eating disorders? In your intimate relationships, have you found it difficult to get close without losing your sense of self? If so, you may be among the fifteen million adults in the United States who were raised with unhealthy parental control. In this groundbreaking bestseller by accomplished family therapist Dan Neuharth, Ph.D., you'll discover whether your parents controlled eating, appearance, speech, decisions, feelings, social life, and other aspects of your childhood—and whether that control may underlie problems you still struggle with in adulthood. Packed with inspiring case studies and dozens of practical suggestions, this book shows you how to leave home emotionally so you can improve assertiveness, boundaries, and confidence, quiet you "inner critics," and bring more balance to your moods and relationships. Offering compassion, not blame, Dr. Neuharth helps you make peace with your past and avoid overcontrolling your children and other loved ones.