Dumbness Is A Dish Best Served Cold

Return to Mackerel Middle School with a special full-color extra-dumb diary from the New York Times–bestselling author! Life at Mackerel Middle School is as dumb as ever—but Jamie Kelly may have finally found the key to fame, fortune, and fabulousness. Together with Isabella and Angeline, she’s come up with a moneymaking idea, and it has to do with food. Everyone likes food! They’re going to be rich! The only problem? They have to come up with something that people actually want to eat. Jamie has some sophisticated thoughts on food, like, “She was manipulating us like dough. Like the sweet, delicious dough that we are. And she was baking us into the type of delicious cookies you can only get from dough like us. And she was putting sprinkles of us on top of us, and—forget it. I’m hungry. I want some cookies.” This is sure to go well. Praise for Jim Benton’s books “An amusing antic sensibility.” —Publishers Weekly “Preteens will be onboard immediately.” —Kirkus Reviews

Jamie and her friends Angeline and Isabella are studying "personal finance" in school, so they decide to put their heads together and come up with a way to earn serious money by creating some kind of food--the only trouble is none of them know anything about cooking.

A new series from the bestselling author of Dear Dumb Diary and Franny K. Stein! MEET VICTOR, TOTAL EXPERT IN EVERYTHING(except Guy Who Cleans Up Bedrooms) With his confidence, imagination, and trusty sidekick Dumpylumps (who happens to be a duck), there's no telling what trouble he'll get into. Lucky for him, he has a knack for getting himself out of trouble, too. So when he finds himself at the center of an intergalactic conflict, he's pretty sure the only way out is his top-secret kitchen concoction; his teacher, the extraordinary Mrs. Nozzleburp; and the help of his friend Patti. Will he be able to save the day and find his way back to class? And just what is he going to do next?

A new series from the bestselling author of Dear Dumb Diary and Franny K. Stein! Fresh from his intergalactic adventure, Victor is casting about for something new to apply his formidable know how to. The obvious next step is cello-making. However, the not so mellifluous sounds that emanate from his creations are enough to wake the dead. That's right, there are zombies let loose and it's up to Victor, Patty, and the long-suffering, always faithful Dumpylumps to not get eaten.

Jim Benton, bestselling author of Dear Dumb Diary and Franny K. Stein, brings us a fresh new middle grade novel about breaking all the rules! There's nothing Jake likes more than some good trash-picking, so when his elderly neighbors move out and leave an especially promising-looking pile of household refuse on the curb, he goes right for it. He only has the chance to grab one box before his mom catches him and orders him in for dinner, though. When mysterious goings-on begin to occur in the neighborhood, the trio investigates the hidden box from Jack's garage. In it, they find the Secret Parent's Handbook and with it all the means to subvert the irrational rules and petty tyranny of their home lives. No more clean rooms! No more vegetables! No more brushed hair or washed hands! It's all videogames and junk food all the time! But the authorities -- and the resistance -- have taken notice of the strange goings-on in Jack and his friends' neighborhood. And they are closing in . . .

Whatever you do, DON'T read Jamie Kelly's bestselling diaries! The bestselling Dear Dumb Diary series is a hilarious hit! Now Jamie Kelly's diaries have a fresh look and a fun twist. Dear Dumb Diary Year Two is still laugh-out-loud funny -- but everything is another year dumber!As Jamie continues to grapple with middle school's Big Questions, she drops even more snarky gems of wisdom like, "Everybody knows that the more you love somebody, the less you try to look nice for them," and "People don't appreciate how much willpower it takes to do the wrong thing."(But Jamie STILL has no idea that anybody is reading her diary. So please, please, please don't tell her.)

Bestselling author Jim Benton is back, continuing a new spin on a favorite series! Dear Dumb Diary, Just when I was pretty sure we could let the Student Awareness Committee quietly die a dignified death like some majestic old elephant or the Square Dancing Club, Angeline has to be aware of something. Great.And, of course, it couldn't be something interesting like nail polish or why maybe there should be a special class in nail polish and how to get it out of your beagle's ear. (Mom, if you're reading this, I'm not admitting anything. Somebody else could have painted a heart in his ear.)Angeline just had to be aware of one of those THINGS THAT ADULTS LIKE.