Equally Shared Parenting

This Is Parenting on Your Own Terms Chances are, you'd rather not forfeit your happy, rested life the moment you become a parent. As a mom, you may want to keep your career, but aren't sure how to balance it with housework and childcare. As a dad, you probably want to witness your child's milestones, but a demanding job may get in the way. And what about time for yourself (never mind your sex life)? Marc and Amy Vachon were determined to beat this scenario when their first child was born. They vowed to sidestep the world's expectations of new parents and create a parenthood model that worked for them. Their strategy was to share everything-the good and the bad. They became peers in each area of parenthood: childcare, housework, and breadwinning. They also made time for themselves, and for each other. They shared the burdens so nobody was overwhelmed, and the joys so neither missed out on the fun. Drawing on Marc and Amy's experiences, as well as those of dozens of ESP couples, Equally Shared Parenting shows you how to create a balanced life that is rarely experienced by today's parents. It's not just about who vacuums and who does the dishes, or who brings in the paycheck and who tends to the kids. You'll learn how to look at every aspect of parenthood, money, careers, and your individual needs, so you can build a life that works for you both.

The best way to have it all--both a full family life and a career--is to halve it all. That's the message of Francine Deutsch's refreshing and humane book, based on extensive interviews with a wide range of couples. Deutsch casts a skeptical eye on the grim story of inequality that has been told since women found themselves working a second shift at home. She brings good news: equality based on shared parenting is possible, and it is emerging all around us. Some white-collar fathers achieve as well as talk about equality, and some blue-collar parents work alternate shifts to ensure that one parent can always be with the children. Using vivid quotations from her interviews, Deutsch tells the story of couples who share parenting equally, and some who don't. The differences between the groups are not in politics, education, or class, but in the way they negotiate the large and small issues--from whose paid job is "important" to who applies the sunscreen. With the majority of mothers in the workforce, parents today have to find ways of sharing the work at home. Rigid ideas of "good mothers" and "good fathers," Deutsch argues, can be transformed into a more flexible reality: the good parent. Halving It All takes the discussion beyond shrill ideological arguments about working mothers and absent fathers. Deutsch shows how, with the best of intentions, people perpetuate inequalities and injustices on the home front, but also, and more important, how they can devise more equal arrangements, out of explicit principles, or simply out of fairness and love.

In this practical book, two experts provide straightforward co-parenting advice to parents facing separation or divorce who wish to pursue the shared parenting approach. Drawing on their extensive experience and research, the authors emphasize the importance of children having significant time with both parents, allowing them to maintain meaningful relationships. By presenting the benefits and challenges, debunking the myths, giving practical tips on communication between the two households, and providing concrete tools to aid in creating co-parenting plans, this book steers parents past their personal feelings toward a successful resolution that is in everyone’s best interest.

In custody battles over the children of separated parents, the prevailing standard of evaluating what is in the "best interests of the child" has been scrutinized because of the discretionary nature of what is "best" and because of the bias in favour of the child residing in one "primary residence." In response, a consensus is beginning to emerge that it is vitally important that children maintain meaningful relationships with both parents after divorce. In The Equal Parent Presumption, Edward Kruk proposes a child-focused approach based on a standard that considers the best interests of the child from the perspective of the child and a responsibility-to-needs orientation to social justice for children and families. Challenging previous research and received ideas, Kruk presents an evidence-based framework of equal parental responsibility as the most effective means of ensuring the protection of family relationships following divorce, and shielding children from ongoing parental conflict and family violence. The existing system of determining parental rights and responsibilities is harming families. The Equal Parent Presumption addresses a major barrier to the principle of gender equality in parenting after divorce, and proposes a viable alternative to sole custody in the form of a legal presumption of shared and equal parenting.

This open access book provides an overview of the ever-growing phenomenon of children in shared physical custody thereby providing legal, psychological, family sociological and demographical insights. It describes how, despite the long evolution of broken families, only the last decade has seen a radical shift in custody arrangements for children in divorced families and the gender revolution in parenting which is taking place. The chapters have a national or cross-national perspective and address topics like prevalence and types of shared physical custody, legal frames regulating custody arrangements, stability and changes in arrangements across the life course of children, socio‐economic, psychological, social well-being of various family members involved in different custody arrangements. With the book being an interdisciplinary collaboration, it is interesting read for social scientists in demography, sociology, psychology, law and policy makers with an interest family studies and custody arrangements.

This multidisciplinary volume offers an essential, comprehensive study of perspectives on the scope and application of the best interests of the child and focuses mainly on its application in relation to child custody. With expert contributions from psychological, sociological and legal perspectives, it offers scientific analysis and debate on whether it should be the primary consideration in deciding child custody cases in cases of divorce or separation or whether it should be one of several primary considerations. It explores complex dilemmas inherent in shared parenting and whether the advantages it offers children are sufficient when compared to attributing custody to one parent and limiting visitation rights of the other. Offering a comprehensive analysis of this complex topic, chapters provide detailed insight into the current state of research in this area, as well as expert guidelines aimed at resolving the controversies when parents agree or disagree over their children’s living arrangements. Cutting-edge topics explored include: transnational shared parenting; alternative dispute resolution; breastfeeding parents; religious disputes between parents and the psychological, social and economic factors that affect shared parenting. The Routledge International Handbook of Shared Parenting and Best Interest of the Child will be essential reading for scholars and graduate students in law, psychology, sociology and economics interested in shared parenting and family law.

Why do men do so little at home? Why do women do so much? Why don't our egalitarian values match our lived experiences? Journalist-turned-psychologist Darcy Lockman offers a clear-eyed look at the most pernicious problem facing modern parents—how progressive relationships become traditional ones when children are introduced into the household. In an era of seemingly unprecedented feminist activism, enlightenment, and change, data shows that one area of gender inequality stubbornly persists: the disproportionate amount of parental work that falls to women, no matter their background, class, or professional status. All the Rage investigates the cause of this pervasive inequity to answer why, in households where both parents work full-time and agree that tasks should be equally shared, mothers’ household management, mental labor, and childcare contributions still outweigh fathers’. How, in a culture that pays lip service to women’s equality and lauds the benefits of father involvement—benefits that extend far beyond the well-being of the kids themselves—can a commitment to fairness in marriage melt away upon the arrival of children? Counting on male partners who will share the burden, women today have been left with what political scientists call unfulfilled, rising expectations. Historically these unmet expectations lie at the heart of revolutions, insurgencies, and civil unrest. If so many couples are living this way, and so many women are angered or just exhausted by it, why do we remain so stuck? Where is our revolution, our insurgency, our civil unrest? Darcy Lockman drills deep to find answers, exploring how the feminist promise of true domestic partnership almost never, in fact, comes to pass. Starting with her own marriage as a ground zero case study, she moves outward, chronicling the experiences of a diverse cross-section of women raising children with men; visiting new mothers’ groups and pioneering co-parenting specialists; and interviewing experts across academic fields, from gender studies professors and anthropologists to neuroscientists and primatologists. Lockman identifies three tenets that have upheld the cultural gender division of labor and peels back the ways in which both men and women unintentionally perpetuate old norms. If we can all agree that equal pay for equal work should be a given, can the same apply to unpaid work? Can justice finally come home?

This open access book assembles landmark studies on divorce and separation in European countries, and how this affects the life of parents and children. It focuses on four major areas of post-separation lives, namely (1) economic conditions, (2) parent-child relationships, (3) parent and child well-being, and (4) health. Through studies from several European countries, the book showcases how legal regulations and social policies influence parental and child well-being after divorce and separation. It also illustrates how social policies are interwoven with the normative fabric of a country. For example, it is shown that father-child contact after separation is more intense in those countries which have adopted policies that encourage shared parenting. Correspondingly, countries that have adopted these regulations are at the forefront of more egalitarian gender role attitudes. Apart from a strong emphasis on the legal and social policy context, the studies in this volume adopt a longitudinal perspective and situate post-separation behaviour and well-being in the life course. The longitudinal perspective opens up new avenues for research to understand how behaviour and conditions prior or at divorce and separation affect later behaviour and well-being. As such this book is of special appeal to scholars of family research as well as to anyone interested in the role of divorce and separation in Europe in the 21st century.