Family Friends Guide To Domestic Violence

Offers practical answers to extraordinarily complex questions raised by abuse. Provides a checklist of warning signs of domestic abuse.

Seal Press originally published Helping Her Get Free with the title To Be an Anchor in the Storm. Almost ten years after its original publication, this groundbreaking and practical guide remains a wise, informed, and vital resource for those who want to assist a friend or loved one in her struggle to escape an abusive relationship. Susan Brewster, a longtime psychotherapist whose practice includes working with abused women and their families, recognizes that friends and family need specific tools and ideas to help them develop a relationship with their abused loved one that will ultimately benefit her, not control her. As the survivor of an abusive relationship herself, Brewster teaches readers how to recognize the signs of abuse, handle negative feelings, become an effective advocate, deal with the abuser, and more. With a new introduction and updated resource section, this straightforward and compassionate book is just as timely and important as ever, offering the information needed to give strength to women who are trying to break free.

This book is for family and friends who know a loved one experiencing domestic violence and coercive control, and would like to know how to best support them. Family and friends have a unique opportunity to help and support survivors, who often choose to seek their support before calling police or engaging services. A positive first experience talking about the abuse can make the difference between safety, and increased isolation and entrapment for a loved one. Knowing what to say and what not to say can help family and friends play the role they want to play: a source of support and safety for their loved one.This book is to be used to assist you in supporting a loved one who is navigating domestic violence and coercive control. It is not meant to replace professional assistance, court orders or involvement of law enforcement where appropriate. Rather, this book is designed to provide you with information, language and suggestions about how to respond to a very challenging, harmful and potentially dangerous situation. The concept behind this guide came from a survivor and was developed with input from other survivors. It represents their ideas about what they wanted and needed to hear from their loved ones. The guide offers information about how to identify domestic violence. It explains how coercive control, even when there is no apparent violence, can be very harmful and dangerous. It offers specific concrete steps that family and friends can take to support a loved one who is being abused.

Today there are more than five million women and their children are living in a violentrelationship, and this number is increasing as new technology from tracking devices on cell phonesto computer technology allow an abuser to track its' victims every move. Domestic violence and stalking related crimes are being dismissed in a flurry of shuffled divorcedocuments and court orders of protection. You cannot plead with an abuser and walk away frompotentially life threatening situations if you are unable to learn the steps necessary to protect yourself. In this straight forward, clearly written guidebook, veteran violence safety expert Susan MurphyMilano provides victims the tools and support they require to face this debilitating problem andtake the necessary steps to regain control of their lives. Victims and those going through divorce now are able to provide information, in their own words, about the fears, dangers, experiences they have had at the hands of their abuser. Like our own individual fingerprints, no two crimes against a victim are the same. An abuser isclever like a fox and this book will teach you the techniques to be ten steps ahead before a threatagainst your life can be carried out against you or your children. With the Evidentiary Abuse affidavit provided in this book a victim will be able to provide legaldocumentation and answers, allegations and fears that arise when a person has disappeared whenthey announce the relationship is ending, gone missing or have been found dead. You will be ableto properly document and describe: -Threats made against your life or well being, -Incidents of past abuse that a victim had endured -Admissions of how a threat will be carried out against a victim once they announce they are leaving or filing for a divorce -Where evidence or weapons would or could be located -Portray visible injuries or marks -Determine how to begin and continue through the complex maze a victim faces with policeand prosecutors-How to leave a Perpetrator-How to collect evidence "on the fly" How to begin and continue on the road to safety using a virtual toolbox of techniques How family and friends can be crucial in this process Using the creative approaches developed in this ground breaking guide book by Susan Murphy-Milano will take the victims from the State of being controlled to the "State of being in control." Susan is the author of Defending Our Lives, Getting From Domestic Violence and Staying Safeand Moving Out Moving On when a Relationship Goes Wrong Workbook. "There is nothing like this out there. The reason this book is so valuable is that it's the first book to provide step-by step procedures and structure to protect everyone from dangerous and abusive relationships" -Rev. Jennifer Burns Lewis, Pastor

"F.R.I.E.N.D.S. for Life: 7 Keys to Supporting Loved Ones Experiencing Domestic Violence," is an easy-to-follow guide people can use to support loved ones entangled in abusive relationships. Using the word "friends" as an acronym, the author, Judge Patricia J. Titus, suggests simple straightforward strategies the reader can use as they express care and concern for their family member, friend, neighbor or coworker experiencing domestic violence.

Domestic violence often seems clear-cut, but some forms of abuse are not as easy to identify as physical abuse. Emotional abuse leaves no visible marks, although its effect on a person's psyche can be just as devastating. Understanding abuse is the first step toward ending an abusive relationship. Enlightening charts, annotated quotes from experts, and real-world examples help young adults identify abuse in relationships with romantic partners, close friends, or family members. This knowledge gives them the tools they need to break free of an unhealthy relationship or help a loved one do the same.

“Every woman who is struggling to understand the mistreatment she is experiencing in her relationship should begin by reading [this] wonderful book.”—Lundy Bancroft, author of Why Does He Do That? What do you do when the one you love hurts you? Have you been searching for answers to difficult questions about your relationship? Do you feel confused about why your partner seems loving one moment and angry the next? Summoning the courage to ask these challenging questions can seem daunting. You know something is wrong in your relationship, but you are not sure what. If you are beginning to wonder if you are experiencing abuse, this book can offer you support, information, and, most of all, hope as you look for answers. Written by two women with a wealth of experience supporting victims of abuse, When Love Hurts introduces exercises and resources to help you make sense of your relationship, addressing all forms of abuse, including verbal, emotional, financial, sexual, and physical. This practical guidebook is a supportive and nonjudgmental friend to those who don’t know where to turn and is filled with stories from women who have been in the same position. By drawing on your own wisdom and that of the many others who have shared your experience, When Love Hurts can help you find the answers you have been looking for.