Fart On The Bully

FART ON THE BULLY, PRETTY MUCH SPEAKS FOR ITSELF. ITS AN OPEN BOOK. BULLYING IS WRONG AND IT NEEDS TO STOP IN THE UNIVERSE. THIS BOOK IS FOR ADULTS OR ANY CHILD THAT HAS BEEN BULLIED. FOCUS ON THE GOOD, FORGIVE AND UPLIFT EACH OTHER. WORKING ENVIRONMENT HAS BULLIES, CHURCHES HAVE BULLIES, BULLIES ARE EVERYWHERE. ONLY OUR FAITH CAN HELP US THROUGH THESE STRUGGLES THAT THE BULLY BRINGS TO THE TABLE. BE A BUDDY NOT A BULLY.

Lenny Lappy and Nelson Deadwood have a secret… When they drop their drawers and let off a good one, Mile One Elementary is blown away! Their pet farts, Fernando and Aisha, are engaged to be married! As long as no one objects, they’ll do just that one Friday afternoon in the school cafeteria. If only things were that simple… WARNING: This book is full of farts!

Nerdastic fifth grader Adam Gason has a big problem. He’s just been busted for smuggling a deadly toxin into the country, one he hopes can combat the army of farts Billy the Bully is amassing in the forest outside Mile One Elementary. Can he stop the evil bully and his Jamaican gangster sidekick from destroying mankind or will the Department of Homeland Security throw him in the slammer and detonate his Xbox? WARNING: This book is full of farts!

Nerdastic fifth grader Adam Gason is at it again, and is barely conscious when he realizes that the fate of mankind hangs in the balance. When he befriends Sara O’Connor, the mother of the future resistance, his destiny becomes clear: that he must save her from an evil fart send back in time to kill her or the future is really going to stink. WARNING: This book is full of farts!

Billy the Bully is at it again! When he sets his sights on Lenny Lappy and his dork friend Nelson Deadwood, he gets more than he bargains for. Is Billy any match for Nelson’s pet fart or is life at Mile One Elementary really going to stink? WARNING: This book is full of farts!

Don't let the title throw you off - this is a hilarious book with an anti-bully theme. When Farts Had Colors is the story of 4th grader Lance Chance who hates Mondays. This particular Monday Lance's mom coaxes Lance to school with his favorite sandwiches and a 'wish-kiss'. On his way to school Lance is tormented by "the biggest, meanest 4th grader ever to stalk the halls of Alfonso Orr Elementary School. Merry Maddox. Bully Extraordinaire..."A legend" and her posse of mayhem, the Crazy M&Ms. If having to hand over his sandwiches and perform a certain humiliating act wasn't enough, Lance gets blamed by Merry Maddox for letting out a fart so horrible it forces the entire school to evacuate. Lance runs away from school and wishes that farts had colors. "Then everyone would have known it was Merry Maddox who sent out those heat seeking missiles of doom and destruction," thinks Lance. And just like that, Lance's wish comes true. Will Lance come up with a plan to expose Merry Maddox and reveal her true colors?

This exhaustive work on flatulence breaks new wind on every aspect of abdominal gas in popular culture. A definitive taxonomy of farts details the characteristics of each variety, including barking spiders, cheek squeakers and green apple dirties. Philosophical positions on colonic expression are examined, from Confucius, Hume, Voltaire and the existentialists. Chapters cover a wide range of fart-focused stand-up comedy, cinema, children's books, toys and merchandise. The author's postscript describes a lifetime preparing for his subject through fraternity membership and offbeat assignments as a newspaper journalist.

A young Fartin Martian named Fart Tart Freddy has never felt good enough to try out for the Fart Fighter spaceball team. He has never met a magical fart fairy. He has never battled an evil alien butthead named Lord Thunder Butt who rules with an iron fart. Freddy is only used to being bullied at Fart Fighter Academy by Mean Methane Mike. "Butt" that is all about to change when someone or something starts mysteriously stealing the city of Flatulantis' pet poo-dles. It's up to Freddy to go on a smell-raising adventure to a secret island called Mount Poot-a-Lanka where magical and strange creatures live. He and his buddy Bubble Butt Brandon come face to fanny with the evil Lord Thunder Butt. With smarts, a big heart, and maybe something magical and tart can he get to the "bottom" of things or get blown away.