Florida Man

“A riotous journey into the heart of insanity also known as the State of Florida. Bravo!”—Gary Shteyngart, author of Lake Success Florida, circa 1980. Reed Crowe, the eponymous Florida Man, is a middle-aged beach bum, beleaguered and disenfranchised, living on ill-gotten gains deep in the jungly heart of Florida. When sinkholes start opening on Emerald Island, not only are Reed Crowe's seedy businesses—a moribund motel and a shabby amusement park—endangered, but so are his secrets. Crowe, amateur spelunker, begins uncovering artifacts that change his understanding of the island’s history, as well as his understanding of his family’s birthright as pioneering homesteaders. Meanwhile, there are other Florida men with whom Crowe must contend. Hector “Catface” Morales, a Cuban refugee, trained assassin, and crack-addicted Marielito, is seeking revenge on Reed for stealing his stash of drugs and leaving him for dead (unbeknownst to Reed) in the wreckage of a plane crash in the Everglades decades ago. Loner and misanthrope Henry Yahchilane, a Seminole native, has something to hide on the island. So does irascible and pervy Wayne Wade, Reed Crowe’s childhood friend turned bad penny. Then there are the Florida women, including Heidi Karavas, Reed Crowe’s ex-wife, now a globe-trekking art curator, and Nina Arango, a Cuban refugee and fiercely protective woman with whom Reed Crowe falls in love. There are curses. There are sea monsters. There are biblical storms. There’s something called the Jupiter Effect. Ultimately, Florida Man is a generation-spanning story about how a man decides to live his life, and how despite staying landlocked and stubbornly in one place, the world nevertheless comes to him.

"Can it still be hurricane season? Must be, because here come Serge A. Storms and his perpetually stoned bro, Coleman, in Tim Dorsey’s gonzo crime caper.” –The New York Times Book Review The “compulsively irreverent and shockingly funny” (Boston Globe) Tim Dorsey returns with an insanely entertaining tale in which the inimitable Serge A. Storms sees dead people and investigates a creepy urban myth that may be all too real. Though another devastating hurricane is raking Florida, its awesome power can’t deter the Sunshine State’s most loyal son, Serge A. Storms, from his latest scenic road trip: a cemetery tour. With his best bro Coleman riding shotgun, Serge hits the highway in his gold ’69 Plymouth Satellite, putting pedal to the metal on a grand tour of the past. Beginning in Key West, the sunshine boys’ odyssey includes a forgotten mass grave in Palm Beach County holding the remains of African Americans killed by the Great Hurricane of 1928, and the resting place of one world-famous television dolphin (RIP Flipper) from the 1960s. But one deadland—a haunted old sugar field—holds more than just the bones of those who’ve passed. For years, local children have whispered about a boogeyman hiding among the stalks. Could it be the same maniac known as Naked Florida Man, who’s been raising hell all over the place? There are few things Serge loves more than solving a good mystery and bestowing justice on miscreants who sully his beloved home’s good name. With his partner Bong Man, Florida’s psycho superhero will find the truth in this hilariously violent delight—packed with history, lore, and plenty of motel antics—from the insanely ingenious Tim Dorsey.

Gary Duba's having a bad day. There's a snake in his toilet, a rabid raccoon in the yard, and his girl Krystal's in jail for getting naked at a Waffle House and licking the manager. He's got dreams, big dreams. Every time he tries to get ahead, fate deals him a low blow. But then he gets lucky...

Folks, you simply can't make this **** up. On these pages, the most outrageous headlines from the state of Florida come to life. Behold! We give you...FLORIDA MAN. Never before has this level of absurdity and hilariousness been put down on paper. This game changing adult coloring book is based on the wildest Florida Man stories of all time.

A full year's worth of the strangest, most outlandish antics of one of the Internet's true titans: Florida Man! Plus, for the first time ever . . . the equally bizarre, equally outrageous Florida Woman! Go to Google and type in your birth date and the words "Florida Man." Weird, right? Well, you haven't seen anything yet! That's just one day in the life of a Florida Man. Originally a beloved Internet game made possible by Florida's Sunshine Laws, "Florida Man" has now become a phrase unto itself, a shorthand expression used online to capture the antics of Florida's residents, who somehow seem to find themselves in bizarre situations regularly. Now, Florida Man is here to collect the 366 greatest, most unusual adventures of both Florida Man and Florida Woman, sorted day-by-day from January 1 through December 31st. (Plus, special leap-year headlines for those readers who just can't get enough mayhem during the regular year!) Florida Man features headlines such as: "Florida Man Throws Alligator Into Wendy’s Drive-Thru Window" “Florida Man Shoots Self, Realizes it Three Days Later” "How Trump Became a Florida Man" plus, corresponding Florida Woman headlines like "Florida woman attacked by ‘aggressive’ otter says 'severe bites' left her temporarily unable to walk” This collection of classic Florida weirdness will astound and amuse even the most jaded, world-weary reader. Just don't go trying any of Florida Man's—or Florida Woman's—ideas for yourself!

A New York Times bestseller—a brilliantly funny exploration of the Sunshine State from the man who knows it best: Pulitzer Prize winner Dave Barry. We never know what will happen next in Florida. We know only that, any minute now, something will. Every few months, Dave Barry gets a call from some media person wanting to know, “What the hell is wrong with Florida?” Somehow, the state's acquired an image as a subtropical festival of stupid, and as a loyal Floridian, Dave begs to differ. Join him as he goes in hunt of the legendary Skunk Ape; hobnobs with the mermaids of Weeki Wachee Springs; and visits Cassadaga, the psychic capital of the world, to have his dog's aura read (apparently, she's "very spiritual"). Hitch a ride for the non-stop thrills of alligator-wrestling ("the gators display the same fighting spirit as a Barcalounger"), the hair-raising spectacle of a clothing-optional bar in Key West, and the manly manliness of the Machine Gun Experience in Miami. It's the most hilarious book yet from “the funniest damn writer in the whole country” (Carl Hiaasen, and he should know). By the end, you'll have to admit that whatever else you might think about Florida—you can never say it's boring.

With antics becoming more bizarre by the year, Florida Man has become one of social media's most self-deprecating and notorious caricatures of the Sunshine State. Whether calling 911 to report an empty bottle of vodka, stealing a Capri Sun to rehydrate during a police chase, or assaulting his boss with frozen hamburger patties, his reputation seems well deserved. Florida Man's outlandish behavior and knack for unintelligible decision making have knocked down the boundaries of criminality and typical human decency. For the first time, 100 of the most outrageous Florida Man news stories are available in a single collection. Take a journey with us into the darkest realms of delinquency; laugh out loud with friends as you browse the bizarre antics of America's most notorious citizen, Florida Man. Includes all the classics... "Florida Man Pocket-Dials 911 While Operating Meth Lab in Backyard Shed" "Florida Woman Shoots Self While Using Snapchat" "Wanted Florida Man Uses His Own Wanted Poster as Facebook Profile Picture" "Florida Man Sought in Theft of $300 Jenna Jameson Sex Doll" "Florida Man Shoots Self, Realizes it Three Days Later" "Florida Man Arrested for Dialing 911 When He Wanted Vodka" "Florida Man Throws Alligator Into Wendy's Drive-Thru Window" "Crack-Smoking Florida Man Drinks Capri Sun to Rehydrate During Police Chase" And many more!