Good Moaning France

A favourite character from BBC TV sitcom ‘Allo ‘Allo!, undercover British agent and head of Nouvion Police, Officer Crabtree, has usually sought to remain undercover if not exactly invisible—which befits his secret agent roots masquerading as a poloceman. In this delightful book, his self-taught yet masterly grasp of Fronch speaks for itself as it falls under the spotlight as never before. From 'Ploose may I hov a kippy of the dooly nosepooper?' to 'frigs logs', 'scrimbled oggs' and 'fosh and chops' the book is a tribute to mangled words, thoughts and phrases. Arthur Bostrom, who played Crabtree on stage and screen, mixes vowels and mispronunciation as he strives to educate those less well-versed in the French longwodge. Illustrated by John Cooper and ideal for travellers and fans of ‘Allo ‘Allo! alike, Good Moaning France! is a wake-up call for anyone conceited enough to think they are competent in French (or English or any other language for that matter). With readers’ questions answered in Ask Crabtree, examples from Crabtree’s poloce newtberks and a most unhelpful Undex. With a Foreword by music legend Rick Wakeman and permission of the estates of ‘Allo ‘Allo! screenwriters David Croft and Jeremy Lloyd this is the perfect book for anyone crossing or travelling beneath the Channel to France. Reviews ‘Listen very carefully, you will read this more than once. I loaved it’-- Les Dennis. 'I’ve not laughed at anything like I’ve laughed at Crabtree ever in my life, this book is “very good nose”’-- Justin Moorhouse. ‘Buck your fairy trip to Fronce now and take Crabtree’s guide with you. A must-read. Hilarious’-- Su Pollard. ‘DO NOT BUY ZIS BOOK!!! IF YOU DO, YOU VILL BE SHOT!!!’-- Helga.

A collection of writing by people in prison and connected to prisons: creative and challenging - one of two special Waterside Press editions. 'A remarkable anthology which will interest everyone concerned with the fate of prisoners and anxious to see their conditions improved': Michael McMullan, Justice of the Peace. 'This fascinating and very readable collection of fact, fiction and verse is the fifteenth issue edited and produced by two probation officers from Sheffield. We are fortunate that they have found a new publisher in Waterside Press to continue giving prisoners (and others), an opportunity to do something wich all writers crave - find an audience to communicate their feelings and experiences... The contributors give deeply personal insights into the nature of their world and prove that imagination and talent are incapable of being destroyed if people are ready to develop them... This anthology deserves to be read... by everyone who is interested in new writers experimenting with the development of their talent. Each piece is different and compelling: David Underhill, The Magistrate.

The best-selling author of BRINGING UP BÉBÉ investigates life in her forties, and wonders whether her mind will ever catch up with her face. When Pamela Druckerman turns 40, waiters start calling her "Madame," and she detects a new message in mens' gazes: I would sleep with her, but only if doing so required no effort whatsoever. Yet forty isn't even technically middle-aged anymore. And there are upsides: After a lifetime of being clueless, Druckerman can finally grasp the subtext of conversations, maintain (somewhat) healthy relationships and spot narcissists before they ruin her life. What are the modern forties? What do we know once we reach them? What makes someone a "grown-up" anyway? And why didn't anyone warn us that we'd get cellulite on our arms? Part frank memoir, part hilarious investigation of daily life, There Are No Grown-Ups diagnoses the in-between decade when... • Everyone you meet looks a little bit familiar. • You're matter-of-fact about chin hair. • You can no longer wear anything ironically. • There's at least one sport your doctor forbids you to play. • You become impatient while scrolling down to your year of birth. • Your parents have stopped trying to change you. • You don't want to be with the cool people anymore; you want to be with your people. • You realize that everyone is winging it, some just do it more confidently. • You know that it's ok if you don't like jazz. Internationally best-selling author and New York Times contributor Pamela Druckerman leads us on a quest for wisdom, self-knowledge and the right pair of pants. A witty dispatch from the front lines of the forties, THERE ARE NO GROWN-UPS is a (midlife) coming-of-age story--and a book for anyone trying to find their place in the world.

Dominic the dragon befriends a boy named Bo as well as the other eleven animals of the Chinese lunar calendar and helps them enter the annual village boat race. Lists the birth years and characteristics of individuals born in the Chinese Year of the Dragon.

Twenty years, seven letters, and one long-lost love of a lifetime At age 40, Samantha Verant's life is falling apart—she's jobless, in debt, and feeling stuck... until she stumbles upon seven old love letters from Jean-Luc, the sexy Frenchman she'd met in Paris when she was 19. With a quick Google search, she finds him, and both are quick to realize that the passion they felt 20 years prior hasn't faded with time and distance. Samantha knows that jetting off to France to reconnect with a man that she only knew for one sun-drenched, passion-filled day is crazy—but it's the kind of crazy she's been waiting for her whole life.

A beautifully produced and exquisitely translated edition of French poems by “the best exponent of the poetry of introversion and metaphorical delirium” (Italo Calvino) The Galloping Hour: French Poems—never before rendered in English and unpublished during her lifetime—gathers for the first time all the poems that Alejandra Pizarnik (revered by Octavio Paz and Roberto Bolano) wrote in French. Conceived during her Paris sojourn (1960–1964) and in Buenos Aires (1970–1971) near the end of her tragically short life, these poems explore many of Pizarnik’s deepest obsessions: the limitation of language, silence, the body, night, sex, and the nature of intimacy. Drawing from personal life experiences and echoing readings of some of her beloved/accursed French authors—Charles Baudelaire, Germain Nouveau, Arthur Rimbaud, and Antonin Artaud—this collection includes prose poems that Pizarnik would later translate into Spanish. Pizarnik’s work led Raúl Zurita to note: “Her poetry—with a clarity that becomes piercing—illuminates the abysses of emotional sensitivity, desire, and absence. It presses against our lives and touches the most exposed, fragile, and numb parts of humanity.”

NATIONAL BESTSELLER • In this witty and warm-hearted account, Peter Mayle tells what it is like to realize a long-cherished dream and actually move into a 200-year-old stone farmhouse in the remote country of the Lubéron with his wife and two large dogs. He endures January's frosty mistral as it comes howling down the Rhône Valley, discovers the secrets of goat racing through the middle of town, and delights in the glorious regional cuisine. A Year in Provence transports us into all the earthy pleasures of Provençal life and lets us live vicariously at a tempo governed by seasons, not by days.

Carolyn Westbrook brings you her first-hand knowledge, acquired through years of combing French flea markets for unique treasures, of what makes a beautiful French interior. Designer and decorator Carolyn Westbrook’s love affair with all that is French inspired began long before she ever traveled to France. Growing up in the US, her Southern heritage was infused by French influences—from the chic elegance of New Orleans to the romance of southern plantation houses. Subsequent travels to France filled her with a passion that has influenced her designs and interiors ever since and “The French Inspired” has become her own signature style. Immerse yourself in her own beautiful plantation house, a sleek urban apartment, or a classically elegant town house. Each home featured has its own distinctive style, but all are essentially “French” in their inspiration, whether it comes from a distressed, gilded carved mirror, or a faded, frayed rug that exudes age in just the right places and could never be purchased from a department store. Carolyn Westbrook prides herself on these French-inspired interiors that are classic and timeless but never stuffy. These interiors are not about the latest trends, but meant to inspire longevity and a true romance with your own home. The French have mastered the art of this time-worn yet sophisticated style of living, and you too will fall in love with the colors, the textures, and the inspiration that is truly French.