Have You Eaten Grandma

For anyone who wants to make fewer (not less) grammar mistakes, a lively, effective, and witty guide to all the ins and outs of the English language, reminiscent of the New York Times bestseller Eats, Shoots & Leaves. Our language is changing, literary levels are declining, and our grasp of grammar is at a crisis point. From commas to colons, apostrophes to adverbs, there are countless ways we can make mistakes when writing or speaking. But do not despair! Great Britain’s most popular grammar guru has created the ultimate modern manual for English speakers on both sides of the Atlantic. In this brilliantly funny and accessible guide to proper punctuation and so much more, Gyles Brandreth explores the linguistic horrors of our times, tells us what we’ve been doing wrong and shows us how, in the future, we can get it right every time. Covering everything from dangling participles to transitive verbs, from age-old conundrums like “lay” vs. “lie,” to the confounding influences of social media on our everyday language, Have You Eaten Grandma? is an endlessly useful and entertaining resource for all.

A great way to learn how to overcome your grammar slip-ups. Do you sometimes mix up your 'affects' and 'effects'? Do you know when to use 'less' or 'fewer'? And what about punctuation - would you like to feel sure about using semicolons? Grammar can be a bit of black hole in terms of size and matter, and if you're not confident about how it works, it can suck you up and spit you out before you can say 'there, their and they're'. Although this book won't give you the formula to the theory of everything grammatical, it will stop you from making embarrassing slip-ups, such as implying your grandmother would make for a tasty meal. So say goodbye to silly CV mistakes or red marker pen all over your essays, because this book offers up bite-sized tips and advice that'll make your writing instantly more impressive.

Laugh yourself silly in this fantastic collection of jokes and riddles! WHAT'S BLACK AND WHITE AND RED ALL OVER? An embarrassed Penguin A sunburnt elephant A newspaper! Did those jokes make you laugh? Make you groan? Maybe a bit of both? There's a lot more where they came from. Collected here by jokesmith Gyles Brandreth are some of the best and worst jokes ever (plus a few riddles to keep you on your toes). From 'Knock, knock' to 'Waiter waiter', with some funny elephants and giraffes thrown in for good measure, there's also a bit of expert joke advice, so you can show others just how funny you can be! 'Very funny, and often outright silly' Guardian on Have You Eaten Grandma by Gyles Brandreth

This guide to the intricacies of grammar and punctuation provides clear, accessible definitions with comprehensive indexing. It is also a humorous text that entertains as Grandma seeks to lead us all to better grammar and punctuation usage. Fun illustrations provide a visual aid to clarify how incorrect use can be misleading (and often very amusing!). In addition to the main text (defining terminology and demonstrating correct usage), the book includes tips, mnemonics and jokes. Perfect for readers aged 9 and up.

Discover Dancing by the Light of the Moon, a collection of poetry to last you a lifetime - poems that will bring you joy, solace, celebration and love for every occasion 'Gyles has discovered the secret of finding happiness' DAME JUDI DENCH Includes an updated chapter of poems to bring you hope and happiness this year _______ A POEM CAN . . . Comfort · Challenge · Be a friend Stretch your vocabulary Help you sleep · Break the ice Find you a lover · Be utter nonsense Console · Make you laugh - or cry For every moment in your life there is a poem. In Dancing by the Light of the Moon we have a remarkable collection of over 250 best-loved poems in the English-speaking world. Allow Gyles Brandreth to be your guide to not only the wonders of poetry - and there are many - but also its practical uses in everyday life. Whether seeking some words to reflect your mood, wanting to celebrate or mark an occasion or simply looking for lines of comfort and joy in difficult times, this collection has everything for readers of poetry both young and old, novices and old hands alike, will love and return to again and again. _______ 'Over 400 pages of top-notch poems by everyone from Shakespeare to Simon Armitage' Daily Mail 'A collection of poems that will transform your memory and change your life' Dr Max Pemberton

The compelling, witty and remarkably honest autobiography from beloved star of Just a Minute, QI, Have I Got News For You and Celebrity Gogglebox THE SUNDAY TIMES BESTSELLER 'Hilarious, ribald, eye-popping, unforgettable, will make you laugh out loud' DAILY MAIL 'Warm, witty, charming. A moving and very affectionate family history. An enthusiast for life' THE TIMES ________ Enter the world of Gyles Brandreth - broadcaster, actor, writer, former politician - as he takes us on an extraordinary journey into his past. From growing up in an apparently well-to-do but strapped-for-cash middle-class English family to his adventures in swinging London, Gyles encounters princes, presidents, pop stars and prime ministers, gets involved in everything from setting up Scrabble championships to examining Danish sex shops, and thrills us with countless tales of family, friends and acquaintances, both famous and infamous. Filled with incredible and sometimes shocking stories, Odd Boy Out is the story of Gyles Brandreth's fascinating life told with his unique wit and charm. ________ 'Staggeringly brilliant, funny and touching, I loved it' JOANNA LUMLEY 'Light-hearted and dark events alike are described with his customary jaunty style, making them funny, moving an sometimes deeply shocking ' Sheila Hancock

This hilarious collection of humorous quotations, full of wisecracks and wit, snappy comments and inspired fantasy, has been specially compiled by the late broadcaster and raconteur Ned Sherrin, with a foreword by leading British satirist, Alistair Beaton. Now packed with even more quotes and covering more subjects than before, from Weddings to the Supernatural, Australia to Headlines. Find the best lines from your favourite jokesters and wordsmiths, add that extra something to a speech or presentation, or just enjoy a good laugh. 'A chair is a piece of furniture. I am not a chair because no one has ever sat on me.' Ann Widdecombe on the announcement that Parliamentary language will now be gender-neutral. 'No wonder Bob Geldof is such an expert on famine. He's been feeding off 'I don't like Mondays' for 30 years.' Russell Brand On deciding to run for governor of California: 'The most difficult decision I've ever made in my entire life, except for the one in 1978 when I decided to get a bikini wax.' Arnold Schwarzenegger 'Wanting to know an author because you like his work is like wanting to know a duck because you like p--acirc--;t--eacute--;.' Margaret Atwood 'I am so sorry. We have to stop there. I have just come to the end of my personality.' Quentin Crisp, closing down an interview