How To Be A Miserable Failure

If you're someone who yearns to NOT "get ahead," NOT "grow as a person," and NOT "stay out of prison," then this book is for you! Contained within these shitty pages is a step-by-step guide for completely and utterly destroying your own life. By choosing to study and faithfully follow the methods outlined within this text, you are essentially discontinuing any pursuit of traditional "achievement." This powerful information will teach you how to win... but to "win" at losing. Since you've chosen to read this awful book, you have opted to become the best, at being the worst! Your victories will now come in the form of low credit scores, broken relationships, multiple arrests, helpless addictions, and MANY missed child support payments! Upon completing this book, you will feel the magnificence of being fully miserable! You will experience the freedom that comes with constant failure! Follow the guidelines in the coming pages exactly, and with the appropriate lack of effort, poor decision-making, psychotic behavior, and a little bit of bad luck, you will become what is known as a "Miserable Failure."

Compared to much of the rest of the world, America and its citizens are rich. But many people are also deeply miserable—at work, at home, or both. In this provocative book, author John Brueggemann unpacks why so many people are struggling, both emotionally and financially, in a nation that looks so prosperous on the surface. From a hospital patient reduced to a balance sheet to a parent working such long hours that he misses dinner, Brueggemann argues that market thinking has permeated every corner of our lives. In the pursuit of more and better, relationships erode, to the detriment of individuals, communities, and the nation as a whole. Rich, Free, and Miserable not only outlines these pressing social problems, but also offers practical suggestions for people looking to make a positive change.

Let's face it, We are all going to fail. Sometimes. There are few things more certain in life. Quite frankly, there are times when your best is just not good enough. For every winner, there must inevitably be a host of people who were pipped to the post. The law of averages alone would suggest that one of them is going to be you, at least once in your life. This is the sad but certain truth that we must all learn. But is it such a sad truth after all? It is strange that we all seem to have such difficulty learning this simply fact. Every day, this integral part of life is looked upon with shame and sadness, with feelings of embarrassment and inadequacy, with several bottles of scotch and with crying on stairs. Instead, what we ought to be doing is embracing our failure. Only then can we explore our fullest potential to fail, and so achieve the greatest part of our humanity. This book teaches you how to come to terms with yourself as the miserable failure that you undoubtedly are, and how to enjoy yourself because of, rather than in spite of, your short-comings and misdeeds.

In How to Be Miserable, psychologist Randy Paterson outlines 40 specific behaviors and habits, which—if followed—are sure to lead to a lifetime of unhappiness. On the other hand, if you do the opposite, you may yet join the ranks of happy people everywhere! There are stacks upon stacks of self-help books that will promise you love, happiness, and a fabulous life. But how can you pinpoint the exact behaviors that cause you to be miserable in the first place? Sometimes when we’re depressed, or just sad or unhappy, our instincts tell us to do the opposite of what we should—such as focusing on the negative, dwelling on what we can’t change, isolating ourselves from friends and loved ones, eating junk food, or overindulging in alcohol. Sound familiar? This tongue-in-cheek guide will help you identify the behaviors that make you unhappy and discover how you—and only you—are holding yourself back from a life of contentment. You’ll learn to spot the tried-and-true traps that increase feelings of dissatisfaction, foster a lack of motivation, and detract from our quality of life—as well as ways to avoid them. So, get ready to live the life you want (or not?) This fun, irreverent guide will light the way.

Tackling relationships, career, and family issues, John Kim, LMFT, thinks of himself as a life-styledesigner, not a therapist. His radical new approach, that he sometimes calls “self-help in a shot glass” is easy, real, and to the point. He helps people make changes to their lives so that personal growth happens organically, just by living. Let’s face it, therapy is a luxury. Few of us have the time or money to devote to going to an office every week. With anecdotes illustrating principles in action (in relatable and sometimes irreverent fashion) and stand-alone practices and exercises, Kim gives readers the tools and directions to focus on what's right with them instead of what's wrong. When John Kim was going through the end of a relationship, he began blogging as The Angry Therapist, documenting his personal journey post-divorce. Traditional therapists avoid transparency, but Kim preferred the language of "me too" as opposed to "you should." He blogged about his own shortcomings, revelations, views on relationships, and the world. He spoke a different therapeutic language —open, raw, and at times subversive — and people responded. The Angry Therapist blog, that inspired this book, has been featured in The Atlantic Monthly and on NPR.

Following in the footsteps of his snarky self-help hit, How to Be Miserable, psychologist Randy J. Paterson uses his trademark wit and irony to help you tackle the most common roadblocks that stand in the way of successful “adulting.” Are you living in your parent’s basement? Can you measure your life by the hours you spend video streaming or gaming? Do you have absolutely no idea who you really are or what matters to you? Are you emotionally stunted and incapable of mature relationships? Great! Keep it up. If you just can’t get enough of being miserable, you’re on the right path. In How to Be Miserable in Your Twenties, you won’t find platitudes or promises of love, happiness, and a fabulous life. What you will find are 40 strategies to help you cultivate a life of abject misery. On the other hand, if you want to take control of your destiny, find meaning and a sense of purpose, or just be a damn grownup, feel free to do the opposite of what this book says. You may yet join the ranks of happy people everywhere! So, keep getting caught in the same self-defeating traps that have led you to an unfulfilling existence—or not! Either way, this book will help you take a good long look at yourself and your life, and come up with a solid action plan for your worst (or best) future.

An interweaving of the stories of a father and son, this book explains (or not) how everything that did happen almost didn't.