How To Connect With Your Troubled Adult Children

What to Do When Parenting Gets Painfully Complicated Are your adult child’s mental, emotional, and physical health issues driving you to despair? Are you tempted to bail your son or daughter out of yet another impossible circumstance? When your child has reached (or long since passed) the point of independence, it’s difficult to know what your “help” as a parent should look like. From the author of bestseller Setting Boundaries® with Your Adult Children, Allison Bottke now offers an in-depth guide to help you connect with your troubled adult child, and to build your confidence, knowledge, and hope in challenging situations such as… drug addiction mental and emotional disabilities military trauma and PTSD personality disorders financial trouble depression and bipolar divorce incarceration …and so much more Whether you’re facing these problems for the first time or looking to learn more, take a step back and develop effective strategies to truly help your adult child—without sacrificing your sanity.

What to Do When Parenting Gets Painfully Complicated Are your adult child’s mental, emotional, and physical health issues driving you to despair? Are you tempted to bail your son or daughter out of yet another impossible circumstance? When your child has reached (or long since passed) the point of independence, it’s difficult to know what your “help” as a parent should look like. From the author of bestseller Setting Boundaries® with Your Adult Children, Allison Bottke now offers an in-depth guide to help you connect with your troubled adult child, and to build your confidence, knowledge, and hope in challenging situations such as… drug addiction mental and emotional disabilities military trauma and PTSD personality disorders financial trouble depression and bipolar divorce incarceration …and so much more Whether you’re facing these problems for the first time or looking to learn more, take a step back and develop effective strategies to truly help your adult child—without sacrificing your sanity.

Finally…Hope for Parents in Pain What parent doesn’t want their children to grow up to be happy, responsible adults? Yet despite parents’ best efforts, most heartfelt prayers, and most loving environments, some kids never successfully make the transition to independently functioning adulthood. Following her own journey, Allison Bottke developed a tough-love approach to parenting adult children that helps both you and your child by focusing on setting you free from the repeated pain of your adult child’s broken promises, lies, and deception. Setting Boundaries® with Your Adult Children offers practical hope and healing through S.A.N.I.T.Y.—a six–step program to help parents regain control in their homes and their lives. S = STOP Enabling, STOP Blaming Yourself, and STOP the Flow of Money A = Assemble a Support Group N = Nip Excuses in the Bud I = Implement Rules/Boundaries T = Trust Your Instincts Y = Yield Everything to God As you love your child with arms and heart wide open, know that no matter what happens you are never alone. God is in control and will be with you.

Are you struggling to connect with your child now that they've left the nest? Are you feeling the tension and heartache as your relationship dynamic begins to change? In Doing Life with Your Adult Children, bestselling author and parenting expert Jim Burns provides practical advice and hopeful encouragement for navigating this tough yet rewarding transition. If you've raised a child, you know that parenting doesn't stop when they turn eighteen. In many ways, your relationship gets even more complicated--your heart and your head are as involved as ever, but you can feel things shifting, whether your child lives under your roof or rarely stays in contact. Doing Life with Your Adult Children helps you navigate this rich and challenging season of parenting. Speaking from his own personal and professional experience, Burns offers practical answers to the most common questions he's received over the years, including: My child's choices are breaking my heart--where did I go wrong? Is it OK to give advice to my grown child? What's the difference between enabling and helping? What boundaries should I have if my child moves back home? What do I do when my child doesn't seem to be maturing into adulthood? How do I relate to my grown child's significant other? What does it mean to have healthy financial boundaries? How can I support my grown children when I don't support their values? Including positive principles on bringing kids back to faith, ideas on how to leave a legacy as a grandparent, and encouragement for every changing season, Doing Life with Your Adult Children is a unique book on your changing role in a calling that never ends.

More than 10 years after Parenting Your Adult Child was published, much has changed - including young adults themselves, as well as their parents. Economic upheavals, challenges to traditional values and beliefs, the phenomenon of over-involved "helicopter parenting" - all make relating to grown children more difficult than ever. Yet at the same time, being a parent of an adult child can bring great rewards. This revised and updated version of Dr. Gary Chapman's and Dr. Ross Campbell's message will help today's parents explore how to really love their adult child in today's changing world. The book includes brief sidebars from parents of adult children and adult children themselves with their own stories. An online study guide will also be available.

A guide for parents whose adult children have cut off contact that reveals the hidden logic of estrangement, explores its cultural causes, and offers practical advice for parents trying to reestablish contact with their adult children. “Finally, here’s a hopeful, comprehensive, and compassionate guide to navigating one of the most painful experiences for parents and their adult children alike.”—Lori Gottlieb, psychotherapist and New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone Labeled a silent epidemic by a growing number of therapists and researchers, estrangement is one of the most disorienting and painful experiences of a parent's life. Popular opinion typically tells a one-sided story of parents who got what they deserved or overly entitled adult children who wrongly blame their parents. However, the reasons for estrangement are far more complex and varied. As a result of rising rates of individualism, an increasing cultural emphasis on happiness, growing economic insecurity, and a historically recent perception that parents are obstacles to personal growth, many parents find themselves forever shut out of the lives of their adult children and grandchildren. As a trusted psychologist whose own daughter cut off contact for several years and eventually reconciled, Dr. Joshua Coleman is uniquely qualified to guide parents in navigating these fraught interactions. He helps to alleviate the ongoing feelings of shame, hurt, guilt, and sorrow that commonly attend these dynamics. By placing estrangement into a cultural context, Dr. Coleman helps parents better understand the mindset of their adult children and teaches them how to implement the strategies for reconciliation and healing that he has seen work in his forty years of practice. Rules of Estrangement gives parents the language and the emotional tools to engage in meaningful conversation with their child, the framework to cultivate a healthy relationship moving forward, and the ability to move on if reconciliation is no longer possible. While estrangement is a complex and tender topic, Dr. Coleman's insightful approach is based on empathy and understanding for both the parent and the adult child.

Behind nearly every adult who is accused of a crime, becomes addicted to drugs or alcohol, or who is severely mentally ill and acting out in public, there is usually at least one extremely stressed-out parent. This parent may initially react with the bad news of their adult child behaving badly with, "Oh no!" followed by, "How can I help to fix this?" A very common third reaction is the thought, "Where did I go wrong--was it something I said or did, or that I failed to do when my child was growing up that caused these issues? Is this really somehow all my fault?" These parents then open their homes, their pocketbooks, their hearts, and their futures to "saving" their adult child--who may go on to leave them financially and emotionally broken. Sometimes these families also raise the children their adult children leave behind: 1.6 million grandparents in the U.S. are in this situation. This helpful book presents families with quotations and scenarios from real suffering parents (who are not identified), practical advice, and tested strategies for coping. It also discusses the fact that parents of adult children may themselves need therapy and medications, especially antidepressants. The book is written in a clear, reassuring manner by Dr. Joel L. Young, medical director of the Rochester Center for Behavioral Medicine in Rochester Hills, Michigan; with noted medical writer Christine Adamec, author of many books in the field. In the wake of the Newtown shooting and the viral popularity of the post "I Am Adam Lanza's Mother," America is now taking a fresh look, not only at gun control, but also on how we treat mental illness. Another major issue is our support or stigmatization of those with adult children who are a major risk to their families as well to society itself. This book is part of that conversation.

Offers proven strategies for taming toxic thought patterns of parents about their unruly children, and provides guidelines to improving the defiant behavior of children by changing one's own parenting mindset.