How To Survive A Freakin Bear Attack

A humorous guide to surviving in the wilderness, that also might make you want to avoid the wilderness forever. For more than twenty-five years, Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader has helped you learn amazing things you didn’t know. Now, Uncle John will show you how to do things you didn’t know how to do . . . and probably should never, never, never actually do, unless you’re in a survival situation and really, really, really need to do. It’s How to Fight a Bear . . . and Win. A new approach to survival guides and how-to books, this book provides step-by-step instructions for how to make do in any rugged terrain. But if you’re expecting “how to start a fire,” think again. This isn’t the kind of book that will tell you how to make a fire by rubbing two sticks together—it will tell you how to make a fire using a car battery. It will also tell you: · How to swing from a vine like Tarzan · How to land an airplane in an emergency · How to fight a bear . . . and win · How to perform emergency surgery in the woods · How to identify what insects you can—and cannot—eat And lots, lots more

Do bear attacks touch people in the far-back recesses of their psyches? Reach latent ancestral memories of cave days when humans were potential prey? Indeed, there are those who say their nightmares involved bears before they ever saw one, either in the flesh or in the movies. Unfortunately, these nightmares all too often come true. People perform almost superhuman feats in their fight to survive bear attacks. Jim Marriott, for instance, was attacked and mauled by a grizzly while carving out a moose head. When playing dead didn’t work, he slammed his skinning knife into the attacker’s neck. The surprised bear backed off only to charge again, cut his tongue trying to bite at the knife, and got the knife sunk into the same place. By the third charge, Marriott was on his feet despite chewed buttocks and damaged legs. This time the bear left with the knife still sticking in his neck. “In bear attacks, the human survival instinct is extraordinary,” says a doctor who sees the terrible punishment victims of bear attacks live through. “And equally amazing are the heroics and seemingly superhuman efforts of those around the victims.” BEAR ATTACKS OF THE CENTURY gathers together these stories of courage, chronicling the most horrific encounters between bears and people. With expert advice on avoiding attacks and information that may help both species leave an encounter unscathed, this book is required reading for hikers, hunters, campers, or anyone visiting bear country, and those who want to learn more about these sometimes deadly but always fascinating animals.

Every book written on bears has been a lie. People live under the false impression that bears can be avoided, that bear attacks are survivable, and even that bears are not immortal. Suffice it to say, people have a lot to learn about bears, bear safety, bear attacks and the impending war between man and bear. BEARS WANT TO KILL YOU is the first honest book about bears ever written. No lies, no propaganda. It's the hard reality nobody wants to face. Can you survive a bear attack? Yes, but only until it kills you.From Axe Cop and Bearmageddon creator Ethan Nicolle

James Shelton, an international expert on survival techniques and bear behavior, takes us on a fascinating and definitive journey to help us better understand these animals. He takes time along the way to debunk much of our cultural mythology about bears and nature. If you work or play in the great outdoors, or if you intend to visit a park: in the near future, this book is a must. The author's 31 years of experience with bears and his knowledge about bear behavior are the basis for his perspective. -- His no nonsense writing makes for gripping reading. Gary Shelton... teaches people who work in the bush how to survive bear attacks New York Times -- Exposes myths about bears

How To Survive A Stuffed Bear Attack introduces us to Max, a little stuffed bear who is convinced he's real. He's usually a good little bear, except when bribed with the promise of his very own Power Wheel. Then he is ready to share some pretty amazing things about stuffed bears: secret things. Like the fact that stuffed bears can attack at any time. In this colorful picture book targeted for children aged 4-8, Max shares the steps of a stuffed bear attack and the only way humans can survive them. But you can't let Mr. Perkins, head of the Secret Stuffed Bear Council, know that Max opened his big mouth. Otherwise, he could be in serious trouble, maybe even banished from the Secret stuffed Bear Council forever. So you can't tell anyone you heard these things from Max!

TIPS TO SURVIVE BEAR ATTACK WITHOUT PANICKING While bear assaults are uncommon, it means a lot to know how to deal with yourself in the impossible occasion that you experience a bear. All that approach can rely upon the types of bear, as various bears might show differing ways of behaving. The two fundamental kinds of bears to be worried about are mountain bears and wild bears. This guide contains different ways you can use to protect yourself from these kinds of Bears. Get a copy and see for yourself.

What causes bear attacks? When should you play dead and when should you fight an attacking bear? What do we know about black and grizzly bears and how can this knowledge be used to avoid bear attacks? And, more generally, what is the bear’s future? Bear Attacks is a thorough and unflinching landmark study of the attacks made on men and women by the great grizzly and the occasionally deadly black bear. This is a book for everyone who hikes, camps, or visits bear country–and for anyone who wants to know more about these sometimes fearsome but always fascinating wild creatures.