How You Say It

"We gravitate toward people like us; it's human nature. Race, class, and gender affect this social identity, but one overlooked factor can be even more powerful: the way we speak. As pioneering psychologist Katherine Kinzler reveals in How You Say It, that's because our speech largely reflects the voices we heard as children. We can change how we speak to some extent, whether by "code-switching" between dialects or learning a new language. But for the most part we are forever marked by our native tongue-and are hardwired to prejudge others by theirs, often with serious consequences. Your accent alone can determine the economic opportunity or discrimination you encounter in life, making speech one of the most urgent social-justice issues of our day. Ultimately, Kinzler shows, our linguistic differences can also be a force for good. For her research reveals that exposure to different languages is beneficial-a paradox that hints at the benefits we can reap from mastering this ancient source of tribalism"--

From "one of the most brilliant young psychologists of her generation" (Paul Bloom), a groundbreaking examination of how speech causes some of our deepest social divides--and how it can help us overcome them We gravitate toward people like us; it's human nature. Race, class, and gender shape our social identities, and thus who we perceive as "like us" or "not like us." But one overlooked factor can be even more powerful: the way we speak. As the pioneering psychologist Katherine Kinzler reveals in How You Say It, the way we talk is central to our social identity because our speech largely reflects the voices we heard as children. We can change how we speak to some extent, whether by "code-switching" between dialects or by learning a new language; over time, our speech even changes to reflect our evolving social identity and aspirations. But for the most part, we are forever marked by our native tongue--and are hardwired to prejudge others by theirs, often with serious consequences. Someone's accent alone can determine the economic opportunity or discrimination they encounter in life, making speech one of the most urgent social-justice issues of our day. Our linguistic differences present challenges, Kinzler shows, but they also can be a force for good. Humans can benefit from being exposed to multiple languages--a paradox that should inspire us to master this ancient source of tribalism and rethink the role that speech plays in our society.

The second edition of this popular one-of-a-kind book is updated with ten new chapters.

From “one of the most brilliant young psychologists of her generation” (Paul Bloom), a groundbreaking examination of how speech causes some of our deepest social divides—and how it can help us overcome them We gravitate toward people like us; it’s human nature. Race, class, and gender shape our social identities, and thus who we perceive as “like us” or “not like us.” But one overlooked factor can be even more powerful: the way we speak. As the pioneering psychologist Katherine Kinzler reveals in How You Say It, the way we talk is central to our social identity because our speech largely reflects the voices we heard as children. We can change how we speak to some extent, whether by “code-switching” between dialects or by learning a new language; over time, our speech even changes to reflect our evolving social identity and aspirations. But for the most part, we are forever marked by our native tongue—and are hardwired to prejudge others by theirs, often with serious consequences. Someone’s accent alone can determine the economic opportunity or discrimination they encounter in life, making speech one of the most urgent social-justice issues of our day. Our linguistic differences present challenges, Kinzler shows, but they also can be a force for good. Humans can benefit from being exposed to multiple languages—a paradox that should inspire us to master this ancient source of tribalism and rethink the role that speech plays in our society.

A revised and updated edition of the detailed, down-to-earth guide to speaking your mind effectively—includes useful exercises. The best, most direct way to convey your intelligence, expertise, professionalism, and personality to other people is through talking to them. But most people have no idea what they sound like. And even if they do, they don’t think they can change it. It’s the Way You Say It is a thorough, nuts-and-bolts guide to becoming aware and taking control of how you communicate with others. Dr. Carol Fleming provides detailed advice and scores of exercises for Understanding how others hear you Dealing with specific speech problems Varying your vocal patterns to make your speech more dynamic Using grammar and vocabulary to increase your clarity and impact Reinforcing your message with nonverbal cues Conquering stage fright An entire section of the book focuses on communication issues in the workplace—interviews, presentations, voice mail, and more. In addition, Dr. Fleming puts a human face on her advice through vivid before-and-after stories of forty men and women who came to her for help. “No other skills will position you ahead of your competition as much as good speaking and presentation skills. No book approaches the depth and breadth of Dr. Carol Fleming’s It’s the Way You Say It.” —Patricia Fripp, CSP, CPAE, keynote speaker, executive speech coach, and president of Fripp & Associates

Why do some speakers succeed while many bore their audiences and lose their listeners? Speaking coach Joan Detz has worked with top clients for more than 15 years and has the answers. In this useful and lively book she presents strategies and tips for speeches, sales presentations, brief remarks, job interviews, Q&A sessions, panels, and more -- every situation that requires something to say. Topics include: organizing your message * finding terrific research * using storytelling techniques * preparing the room * handling technical glitches * working with other speakers * measuring your effectiveness * making the most of your voice * mastering humor * using body language * conquering nervousness * building audience rapport * tapping the power of persuasion. Filled with checklists, tip sheets, self-evaluations, and practical advice on every page, this thorough and invaluable guide takes the mystery out of our most dreaded experience. This book will help you say it better-whether you're talking to one or one thousand.

Media guru and Emmy Award-winning correspondent Bill McGowan—coach to some of the biggest names in business and entertainment, including Eli Manning, Kelly Clarkson, Jack Welch, Thomas Keller and Kenneth Cole teaches you how to get your message across and get what you want with pitch perfect communication. He is also a trusted advisor in the C-suites of tech companies like, Facebook, Spotify, AirBnB, Dropbox and Salesforce.com. Saying the right thing the right way can make the difference between sealing the deal or losing the account, getting a promotion, or getting a pink slip. It’s essential to be pitch perfect—to get the right message across to the right person at the right time. In Pitch Perfect, Bill McGowan shows you how to craft the right message and deliver it using the right language—both verbal and nonverbal. Pitch Perfect teaches you how to overcome common communication pitfalls using McGowan’s simple Principles of Persuasion, which are highly effective and easy to learn, implement, and master. With Pitch Perfect you can harness the power of persuasion and have people not only listening closely to your every word but also remembering you long after you’ve left the room.

An addictive, irresistible YA novel about two teens from different worlds who fall for each other after a voter registration call turns into a long-distance romance—from Katie Cotugno, the New York Times bestselling author of 99 Days. Perfect for fans of Mary H.K. Choi, Robin Benway, and Nicola Yoon. One conversation can change everything. Meg has her entire life set up perfectly: she and her best friend, Emily, plan to head to Cornell together in the fall, and she works at a voter registration call center in her Philadelphia suburb. But everything changes when one of those calls connects her to a stranger from small-town Ohio. Colby is stuck in a rut, reeling from a family tragedy and working a dead-end job. The last thing he has time for is some privileged rich girl preaching the sanctity of the political process. So he says the worst thing he can think of and hangs up. But things don’t end there.… That night on the phone winds up being the first in a series of candid, sometimes heated, always surprising conversations that lead to a long-distance friendship and then—slowly—to something more. Across state lines and phone lines, Meg and Colby form a once-in-a-lifetime connection. But in the end, are they just too different to make it work? You Say It First is a propulsive, layered novel about how sometimes the person who has the least in common with us can be the one who changes us most.